I have befriended darkness I have plunged my fingers into the deep blackness Smelled its rich sent Felt its chill I have stared into its oblivion Wondering what is on the other side And I've felt it watching me back Equally curious It whispers of base things Lust Craving Need Reckless abandon Danger Ecstasy Seduction Indulgence Pleasure Pain I have felt it caress my skin Shadow spooning the light Defining my edges I am incomplete without it Its contrast necessary Reminding that there is no light Without darkness to define it
I see you watching The sway of my hips The set of my lips The unapologetic way I take up space You're wondering about me Imagining my mysteries Gauging if you are worthy To kneel in worship before My dark goddess displayed Exhalant in my glory I will take no audience With ordinary souls They do not ignite curiosity in me I like those who recognize Their audacity in approaching me Because my eyes show I give no fucks I do not play If I let you in Doesn't mean you get to stay I have danced with devils And cast them all out Barely a glance spared them I see you watching me What's your move
Crave deep and honest conversation Sit with her Like a blind man tracing her face Run your curiosities With careful deliberateness Across her mind And allow her to do the same Lean into the exchange And let the world fall away Spend the night in philosophical repose So you may greet the dawn With your souls on fire Make evenings like this a ritual This will light a fire in her blood This is how to woo a poet
I do not wish to cover my walls with too many paintings and pictures I wish to cover my walls with panels of poetry I want beautiful words to surround me Like a sacred spell Speaking truths and insights Prayers and pleas Into my home like a silent Gregorian chant Poets' words holding a vigil of inspiration Painting my walls with observations and emotion Experience and wisdom Humor and passion Poetic versions of our human condition Illustrated in language Forcing me to pause every time I pass by And ground in this moment by reading Someone else's soul imprinted upon my wall Reminding me of the depth and breath of living Reminding me to look for the beauty inherit in experience Reminding me to feel deeply and love fiercely Reminding me to embrace every moment regardless of its pleasantness I wish my home be a celebration of Poets dreamers philosophers and storytellers My home will be no dead poets society But a celebration of the living truth of their words May all who cross my threshold find something that speaks to them And after sitting within my walls May they leave feeling just a little more deeply than when they arrived
In sacred prayer I place myself in Her protection Amongst a ring of salt and sage To cleanse and clarify Purify and protect Grounding me to earth Connecting me to sky
I fall in love multiple times a day I am wooed by the beauty of the waking sky The feel of hot water on my skin The rich deep smell of brewing coffee Enchanted with my children's laughter A stranger's smile as we pass on the street A friend's text message saying hello Captivated by the crescent moon in a starry sky A blazing sunset over a summer ocean The fog spilling into the valley over the coastal mountains There's so much to love if one chooses to look So much to be delighted by All it takes is a willingness to see the possibilities in the world
I have cried rivers To cleanse my heart Of the goods and bads of you In those waters I finally see my own reflection Haloed in sunlight Instead of your shadow
I have been asked If I thought I didn't deserve better If I thought I couldn't have better If I thought he was the best I could do NO I knew I deserved better I knew I was worth better I knew I could have better I was in love I believed my relationship Could become better Would become better I just had to wait and believe I clung to breadcrumbs While my soul starved I believed in a dream Long past its expiration date I held onto hope Even when the nightmares Haunted the wakeful day I had to do everything I could Until it became undeniably clear There was nothing else I could do When it was clear it was him and not me I had shown up Put the work in Tried and cried and tired again And he wouldn't meet me He couldn't accept responsibility for his part He wouldn't do the work He wanted me to keep changing Transforming Making myself less so he could be more Smaller More compliant Less of a person More of a puppet A Stepford Wife That could never please him anyway I knew that my luminescence was what drew him to me My shine was acceptable then My shine is acceptable now Just not to him I knew love shouldn't feel like this Be like this Behave like this Hurt like this Love does not bully Love does not belittle Love does not plot against the one it adores Love does not manipulate or blame Love does not destroy others to make itself feel powerful My hope became my prison An escape room I allowed to be created around me I found myself trapped in its ever shifting walls It would take time It would take opportunity It would take all the courage I had to leave To choose me And to not look back I do deserve better And reclaiming myself Is where I start to create better
Warm lazy afternoons in late summer Hazy and tea-colored at the golden hour Dragonflies dancing through the tall grass While crickets hum contentedly Air scented with summer earth And hints of coming autumn rain The world readying for sleep Eagerly awaiting the slowing of things
Words Wishes and Wisdom 