How many times do I have to snuff out the candle of hope in my chest because my heart refuses to accept that you are incapable of being who I need you to be?
-gws
Candle of Hope
Category: Hope
Hinterland
Inspired by comics from Incidental Comics
I looked out from the promontory of life
Across a vast hinterland
The turbid quagmire miles behind me
The frisson of trepidation abated for now
I wish to tracklessly caper in those hinterlands
Beneath a lustrous azure sky
Vesuvian days released to the past
Gossamer hopes eddy about me like a corolla
Hopes of enduring eudaemonia
No longer needing to latibulate in darkness
Before me stands my Elysian dreams
Filled with halcyon days
And tranquil gloamings
I will alight in a new and unblemished existence
A ruderal redeemed
Awaiting rich and fertile soil of a new life
Under the radiant zenith of a new day
-gws
In more common language:
I look out from the overlook of life
Across a vast unknown
The confusing, unstable ground behind me
The sudden fear of trepidation abated for now
I wish to tracklessly revel in those unknown lands
Beneath a shining blue sky
Explosive, volatile days released to the past
Delicate hopes whirl about me like the swirl at the heart of a flower
Hopes of enduring happiness
No longer needing to hide in a corner in darkness
Before me stands my dreams of paradise
Filled with idyllically happy and prosperous days
And tranquil twilights
I will land and settle in a new and unblemished existence
A plant growing amongst the concrete redeemed
Awaiting rich and fertile soil of a new life
Under the radiant height of a new day
-gws
Possibilities
I fall in love multiple times a day
I am wooed by the beauty of the waking sky
The feel of hot water on my skin
The rich deep smell of brewing coffee
Enchanted with my children's laughter
A stranger's smile as we pass on the street
A friend's text message saying hello
Captivated by the crescent moon in a starry sky
A blazing sunset over a summer ocean
The fog spilling into the valley over the coastal mountains
There's so much to love if one chooses to look
So much to be delighted by
All it takes is a willingness to see the possibilities in the world
-gws
Better
I have been asked
If I thought I didn't deserve better
If I thought I couldn't have better
If I thought he was the best I could do
NO
I knew I deserved better
I knew I was worth better
I knew I could have better
I was in love
I believed my relationship
Could become better
Would become better
I just had to wait and believe
I clung to breadcrumbs
While my soul starved
I believed in a dream
Long past its expiration date
I held onto hope
Even when the nightmares
Haunted the wakeful day
I had to do everything I could
Until it became undeniably clear
There was nothing else I could do
When it was clear it was him and not me
I had shown up
Put the work in
Tried and cried and tired again
And he wouldn't meet me
He couldn't accept responsibility for his part
He wouldn't do the work
He wanted me to keep changing
Transforming
Making myself less so he could be more
Smaller
More compliant
Less of a person
More of a puppet
A Stepford Wife
That could never please him anyway
I knew that my luminescence was what drew him to me
My shine was acceptable then
My shine is acceptable now
Just not to him
I knew love shouldn't feel like this
Be like this
Behave like this
Hurt like this
Love does not bully
Love does not belittle
Love does not plot against the one it adores
Love does not manipulate or blame
Love does not destroy others to make itself feel powerful
My hope became my prison
An escape room I allowed to be created around me
I found myself trapped in its ever shifting walls
It would take time
It would take opportunity
It would take all the courage I had to leave
To choose me
And to not look back
I do deserve better
And reclaiming myself
Is where I start to create better
-gws
Tell Your Story
Tell your story
Detail your plot twists
Describe how you penned your own ending
How you dreamt your next prolific chapter
You are proof that dragons can be slain
Villains can be outwitted
That the condemned can become the hero
Be the light that illuminates someone else’s
Pages through your inspiration
Show that soul their narrative can be altered
Show that soul their misery can become triumph
Because you have told them it can be done
Because you have shown them it was done
-gws
I Was You Yesterday
I was you yesterday
Broken down and broken hearted
Today, I begin my ascent with the dawn
And tomorrow, so can you
-gws
A Love Song for Myself
I will write a love song for myself
A song of hope
A song so free
A song of everything I want to be
I will write a love song for myself
A ballad of returning
A ballad of ascension
A ballad celebrating my redemption
I will write a love song for myself
A tune for forging forward paths
A tune for changing ways
A tune for the coming better days
I will write a love song for myself
A triumphant magnum opus
A symphony of surrender and release
A life-renewing masterpiece
-gws
How the Wind Came and Changed Everything
My curls dance around my face
As the wind kisses my cheeks rosy
These are the winds of change
Smelling of hope and promise
Action and evolution
The wind sings dreams of change to me
It pulls at my skirts
Kisses goosebumps onto my skin
Willing me to move my feet
Daring me to take a chance
Toward unwritten promise
I toss on my sweater
Pick up my notebook
Tamp down my hat
And walk toward the unknown
Wind cheering at my back
Celebrating the changing of everything
-gws
You Deserve to Shine
Be the brightest star
In your own sky
You deserve to shine
-gws
Whole Again
I’m learning how to experience joy without
my broken heart fearing that the experience will be taken from me before I can feel it fully
To feel the elation without it immediately triggering tears of mourning
It’s difficult and beautiful learning how to become whole again
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 