I have no interest in dating or lovers I think that part of me might be dead At least I cannot feel anything where that want should be It is a dead zone in my chest A hollow place A salted field that cannot grow life
I have too much healing to do So much work to do I need to learn how to TRUST myself again How to LOVE myself again How to BE myself again
Now is the time for quiet The time to feel complicated feelings Listen to the whispers of a broken heart A disillusioned spirit The time to grieve shattered dreams Relinquished hopes And lost futures
When the processing is complete The healing well advanced The distrust subsided We'll see where I am What I want What I need Who I am
You gave me scars deep below my skin So I keyed this poem into your car A parting gift A reminder of the damage you've caused Easier to repair than what you did to me
I have befriended darkness I have plunged my fingers into the deep blackness Smelled its rich sent Felt its chill I have stared into its oblivion Wondering what is on the other side And I've felt it watching me back Equally curious It whispers of base things Lust Craving Need Reckless abandon Danger Ecstasy Seduction Indulgence Pleasure Pain I have felt it caress my skin Shadow spooning the light Defining my edges I am incomplete without it Its contrast necessary Reminding that there is no light Without darkness to define it
Crave deep and honest conversation Sit with her Like a blind man tracing her face Run your curiosities With careful deliberateness Across her mind And allow her to do the same Lean into the exchange And let the world fall away Spend the night in philosophical repose So you may greet the dawn With your souls on fire Make evenings like this a ritual This will light a fire in her blood This is how to woo a poet
I fall in love multiple times a day I am wooed by the beauty of the waking sky The feel of hot water on my skin The rich deep smell of brewing coffee Enchanted with my children's laughter A stranger's smile as we pass on the street A friend's text message saying hello Captivated by the crescent moon in a starry sky A blazing sunset over a summer ocean The fog spilling into the valley over the coastal mountains There's so much to love if one chooses to look So much to be delighted by All it takes is a willingness to see the possibilities in the world
I have cried rivers To cleanse my heart Of the goods and bads of you In those waters I finally see my own reflection Haloed in sunlight Instead of your shadow
