I loved blanket forts as a child
I would live in a blanket fort
For as long as I could get away with it
Inside was my temple
Soft, dark, warm and safe
Outside was an adventure
Sometimes the real world
More often, though, anything else
Other worlds filled with
Villains and friends
Hazards and wonders
Mischief and magic
Infinite possibilities
Stood beyond my blanket walls
My plush sanctuary
Existing in two places at once
A world within the world
Transporting away from and rooting me to
Home
-gws
I wrote you a box of postcards
I never sent
I could not set the stamp
In place
I could not address it
To that space
You weren't there anyway
You never really were
-gws
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity
Trust yourself
In the midst of chaos, find your calm
Embrace the unknown
Everyday is a second chance
Keep going
-gws
Patience is hard
Growing
Becoming
Evolving
All require patience
In a world where instant gratification
Rewards us at the tap of a button
Practicing patience can feel like torture
Patience demands of us
To stay tethered to this moment
Preventing any full escape into distraction
Being present is trying
It feels hard
Abrasive
Affronting
We are uncomfortable
Patience requires us to
Embrace the discomfort
That often comes from
Being wholly present
Patience presents the opportunity
To practice experiencing the now
To practice being curious
About our being
About our feelings
So that we may learn
To know ourselves better
So that we may learn to be
More comfortable
In our own skin
In our own spirit
In our own life
-gws
I see the grief in your eyes
As the carefully crafted reality you made
Starts to fracture into a cascade of spiderwebs
The part of me that still loves you
Wants to comfort you
Tell you that everything will be ok
But I cannot do that
This disillusionment is necessary
And being trapped inside your bell jar
Has nearly ended me
I will not forge you a new one with false hope
That I am still your refuge
Because this all must end
You must face the world
On the other side of the looking glass
The real world where the damage you have wrought
Lays exposed before you
A cold world where you are finally alone
My heart breaks because it didn't need to be this
I wanted to love you
I tried to
But you didn't know how to accept love
And you didn't know how to give love
Because you don't know how to love yourself
You don't know what healthy love feels like
I feel the grief in my heart as I watch you
Watch your world unravel
I mourn for both of us
For the future that will never be
For the past so full of pain
For the love we both deserved but
That couldn't survive your demons
I did love you
I loved you so much, so hard
I forgot how to love myself
I grieve for all we are letting go of
I grieve along side you
As my hand slips from yours
And we learn to say goodbye
-gws
I tried to love you
In spite of yourself
I couldn’t know
That I’d forget
To love me
In the process
-gws
Everything's become about
Wants and needs
So much so
That we forgot
How to just
Be
-gws
Tell no one your deepest dreams
Those valuable things
That manifest in the heart's nebula
The burning factory of creation
Tucked securely in your soul
They are precious treasures
Composed of ether and moonlight
Not fit for just anyone's consumption
-gws
What is this nightmare?
Acne
Joint pain
Mood swings
Hot flashes
Night sweats
Insomnia
It's a good thing that men do not experience
The joys of menopause
I'm pretty sure that we would have
Destroyed ourselves long ago if they did
Because this experience is madness
It's like the upgrade to puberty no one wanted
I HAVE SO MUCH RAGE
This has to be the reason women stop
Putting up with intolerable things during midlife
Because I'm ready to take a machete to all of the bullshit
I have zero patience for anything
When my hormones tumble out of wack
All stupidity enrages me
And so many things are branded with
A blinking neon sign that reads
STUPIDEST THING EVER
DO NOT TOLERATE
Now don't get it twisted, gentle listeners
There are no excuses planted here
Do not dismiss my disgruntled reactions
As merely hormonal storm surges
These hormones are the reason I can see
The bullshit so clearly
They are the reason I will not abide the bullshit
One second longer
As I once let go of the Maiden's mantel to take up the Mother's mantel
I now start letting go of my Mother's mantel
To assume the mantel of the Crone
Her knowing look
Her sharp witted smirk
She has seen it and rejected it all
She understands that societal norms
The expectations that sit like weights
Upon her back are not hers to carry
She understands that she is a force
She stops caring what others think of her
And starts caring about what she thinks of herself
I feel these changes calling to my core
Calling the taproot of my soul to descend
Into the tides ruled by my will and Grace's wisdom
Tides that my ancestors waded in
And tapped into before me
The wise women
The grandmothers
The healers and midwives
The matriarchs
I am about to inherit their legacy
But first
I must walk this gauntlet called menopause
This thrill ride is only just beginning
And I already want off
If you meet me and see a feral glint in my eye
Or sweat on my brow
Know it's best to just walk on by
My grasp on my self-control
Is not a secure one
I run on resentments and judgment
Not tightly moored to my higher self
This base self more worldly
Guiding me through this transition
Steeped in ragged ugly truth
So that when I emerge
My crown of silver
Is earned
-gws
Dear woman in the mirror
How are you today?
Did you sleep well?
I’d like to ask you to be my Valentine?
My Gal-entine?
My number one relationship
Will you dream with me of our happiness?
Will you help me manifest our joy?
I promise to shower you in compliments
To speak softly and gently to you
I will hold your wellbeing above all things
I know I haven’t always been your cheerleader
I have often been your worst critic
And I’m sorry for that
I’m learning how to treat you better
I’m learning how to better support you
To do more than acknowledge you have needs
I wish to meet those needs
I wish to show you the deepest kindness
I wish to reflect your incomparable worthiness
Because you are always worthy
No matter what others say or do to prove otherwise
Would you like a cup of tea?
How about a blanket and a good book?
Do you need a moment in the sun,
Or perhaps a nap buried beneath mounds of blankets?
You and me are the OG
We’ve got to take care of each other
Because no matter who comes and goes
We will always have each other
We’ve endured a lot together
I know you are so tired
I promise you that we will learn to move
From surviving to thriving
You and I
Let’s start today, my Valentine
By promising to say these three words
Every time we see each other
I love you
I love you
I love you
(I love me)
(I love me)
(I love me)
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 