The Luxury of Familiarity

I am no longer funding 
The luxury of familiarity

It has cost me too much
And offered questionable ROI

I am only entertaining thoughtful investment
In quality platonic companionship

For those interested in applying
Limited applications are being accepted

A nonrefundable fee will be assessed
And a thorough background check performed

I reserve the right to cancel the requisition at any time
And invest in my own peace instead

-gws

Heroes Be Damned

There was no knight or shining armor
There was a woman who survived
Who may have screamed and clawed and begged on her knees
While she fought, and endured, and kept picking herself up
There was no figure with a cape, or sword, or an army coming to her rescue
Only her resolve, her tenacity, her iron will
Sometimes she had to become a monster to fight a monster
Sometimes she had to wait, and strategize, and plan
Her life and soul were her own to save
Her future freedom reliant on her endurance and wit

She had to be her own comfort
Give her own pep talks
Rally her own spirit for the next round
She wiped her own sweat from her brow, and tears from her cheeks
She allowed adversity to forge her in its fire
Allowed pain to build and test her tolerances
Because to survive was the only viable choice
Never was there any consideration given to surrender
She loved herself enough to persist

It wasn't easy, or simple, or linear
There were as many setbacks as there were battles won
As many bruises never seen as scars to be witnessed
More days spent on the edge of abandoning herself than known
She called on every god
Begged them and cursed them and abandoned them all
They had already given her their gifts in the pockets of her soul
It was her job to find and manifest them
It was her job to save herself using all she already had bestowed on her

So she gritted her teeth as cornered animals do
She growled and launched into the fight of her life
She made hard, often heart breaking choices
Made the necessary sacrifices
Regained her feet after every knockdown
Shook off every blinding blow
All the while strategically landing felling blows
Until there was nothing between her and freedom
But a thundering heart and infinite possibilities
Let all other heroes be damned
She could take care of herself

-gws

Ritual

I have coated my boundaries in sacred salt
Saged the walls of my mind
Served healing teas to my soul
Soaked my dreams in moon water
Calmed my spirits with lavender sachets

I have removed the “welcome” mat from my doorstep
Hung a horseshoe above my threshold
Covered my aura in layers of steel
Cut the cord with silver shears
All to reclaim myself from you

-gws

Remember How It Was Before

Remember how it was before
When I confidently walked through my life
Believing in a future full of infinite possibilities
Idealistic and self-possessed
Inspired and free to manifest the life I desired
Never apologizing for the joyousness of my nature
Never apologizing for my independence and adventurousness
Never apologizing

Such a contrast with who I would embody for too long
Cowed and questing to find the right key
That would unlock your love for the me I was before
The me that I thought you cherished
The me that was once upon a time enough
I remember how it was before
I am on a journey back to myself
The version of me that resembles the echos of my unscarred self
Together we will offer an apology to the me that was before
A reclamation of what I thought was lost
And I will be a wonder again

-gws

Affirmations Inspired by Sarah J Maas Novels

Screen Shot from http://www.sarahjmaas.com
I will not fear
I will not falter
I will not yield
I am the great storm coming
I will rattle the stars

My freedom will mean something
The wicked will not haunt my thoughts
I will not let the hard days win
I will remain unwavering in the face of hopelessness
I will climb the mountain
I will not be afraid
I will not survive or exist, but live

I am the rock against which the surf crashes, nothing can break me
I am the spirit that cannot be broken
Only I can decide what breaks me
I will not be broken or tamed
I will not be caged
I will allow no force in the world to keep me contained
I will bow to no one

I will not feel bad for doing things that bring me joy
I am the dreamer who will remake the world
I am elegant, feminine, and utterly wild
I will not be afraid of what makes me shine brightly
Mine is not a story of darkness

-gws