If I Am Too Much

If I am too much
Then let me be too much
I am light and expansive
And I will not be constrained
By those who wish me to be small
For like the wind
I will not be caged

-gws

The Reason I Avoided That Place

I didn't need to have a reason
But I did
The reason I avoided that place
Was you
Was me
Was us
You see
That was the place you decided that
Us ceased to be
That was the place where 
I returned to being just me
The place where your voice
Was replaced by the sound of slowly cracking glass
As my heart shattered in my chest
Your eyes pitied me
While your lips spilled more
Shattered glass to fill my roaring ears
I forgot how to breathe
And my now shattered heart forgot how to beat
And your eyes pleaded with me
Because you were already gone
You had dismantled us 
Placed the pieces into a shoebox
And buried me alive in a shallow grave
I love you-s replaced by 
I'm sorry-s
Those brown eyes indeed sorrowful
As my soul was felled by a thousand surgical cuts
Sundering two halves into two less-than wholes
I just wanted you to stop talking
To stop looking at me that way
To stop tearing down my world
Then you left
And I stayed
I didn't need to have a reason to avoid that place
But I did

-gws

Because My Mama Loves Me

Inspired by the below Facebook Post

Because my mama loves me no matter how far away we are, or how frequently we talk  
Because my mama loves me no matter how old I get, or how many babies I’ve had
Because my mama loves me no matter how capable or incapable I perceive myself to be
Because my mama loves me no matter how broke I am or successful I become
Because my mama loves me no matter how little or how much I love myself
Because my mama loves me..."more, most, to the moon and back, and to infinity and beyond"
Because my mama will always love her baby girl like the day she learned she carried my spark, and will beyond when our sparks rejoin the stars

Because I love my mama I will treat every check in like a hug
Because I love my mama I will treat every worry like a kiss
Because I love my mama I will treat every conversation as a gift
Because I love my mama I will treat every gift as a treasure
Because I love my mama I will not take any second of her love for me for granted
Because I will always love my mama I will love her like the day my spark took root inside of her, and will beyond when our sparks rejoin the stars

-gws

Ecstasy

(A palinode to Grief)

Ecstasy illuminates 
It amplifies joy
Making time feel inconsequential 
Grounding me deep in the moment 
Called by the here and now 
Allowing full presence in the experience of it
Ecstasy demands we be seated in our bodies 
To experience pleasure 
And laughter 
And belonging as part of the great tapestry of living
Our senses acute and engaged
Begging we greedily partake
In the gifts that life offers
Richly
Vividly 
Intricately
With all of our senses
Inciting never ending curiosity 
And a desire for the bliss of it to never end

-gws

Not Enough

Not enough resources 
Not enough time
Not enough support 
Not enough me

-gws

I Might Have Been

In another life I might have been
A pirate queen
A courtesan
A poison-wielding spy
A teacher's pet
A protégé
The apple of your eye
A doe-eyed starlet
A beatnik poet
A comic, humor wry
An astronaut
A swimming star
A mime who would not cry
And yet I have this life to live
One shot for this go 'round
For all the mes that might have been
I like the me I found

-gws

Seeking Release

Each time the house shook I knew
A storm was brewing
With unbridled rage
Knew that pools of acrid magma
Were rising to the surface
Seeking release

Each time the house shook I knew
That nowhere was safe
There was not enough time to escape
The maelstrom was coming
Wrathful and vicious
Seeking release

Each time the house shook I knew
I would stand against the gale
Diving deep into my power
Drawing on an ancient strength
Of ancestor, element, and divinity
Seeking release

-gws

A Love Poem

Your love has me floating
Like a helium balloon
Tethered to the ground
By a heartstring

Your love caresses my senses
Like the sharp, clean freshness of pine
Endlessly stretching heavenward toward the azure sky
Crowned in misty clouds and enduring

Your love has me believing in forever
Like the love found in bedtime stories and fairy tales
Two hearts forged into an infinity loop
As twin souls merged will do

-gws

Disobedient Children

"Disobedient children don't live half of their days."
I can hear your voice reciting this sentiment 
Did you ever consider how scary that sounds to a child
I know it was meant to scare 
But was it meant to scar
This turn of phrase left me so confused 
So convinced that I’d never see adulthood 
I know you meant no harm
You carried forward what you learned

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep brought no comfort 
For what does a child know of life and death
The memory of that oft said phrase
The memory of that terrible prayer
Still haunt my inner child

Rock-a-bye Baby always made me sad for the baby
Why was the baby on a treetop
A baby falling from a broken tree bough 
Is hardly a comforting lullaby

I did not carry these things forward
I staunchly refused
I surrendered the nightmares of these things to the ether and to time
And celebrate every day that this disobedient child is still here

- gws

Trophies

Do you earn medals for hurting me
Because you treat it like an Olympic sport?
Are my tears some cocktail that intoxicates your soul
For I have cried oceans at your words and deeds?
Is my pain the wood for your spiteful fire
For it seems to always stoke your rage higher?
When did the joy we shared turn to ash?
When did that concentrated venom infuse into your words?
When did you develop such resentment of me to turn your eyes to depth-less stone?

-gws