This above all To thine own self be true But damn Is that a hard thing to do I want to hold To my own principles To set firm my jaw And without a pause Hold firm the ground I'm planted upon But when I say no You refuse to move on Turning my insides Upside and down Knitting my eyebrows And causing a frown Why is honoring me Such an ask It's not like I'm begging Some outrageous task I'm asking for only Mutual respect Yet you recoil As if you were decked Leaving me feeling Like I've caused you harm While my heart is rattling My chest in alarm Now I'm a monster For making my needs A priority which Leaves you aggrieved One day soon I will disavow Ownership of What's forced on me now I will figure out how To my own self be true And with peace in my heart I will leave you
When I met you You were charming But nowhere near perfect You were charismatic But endearingly flawed You were looking for a party But you accidentally found a home
When you met me I was unapologetically myself But I was naive I was willing to take risks But not necessarily with my heart I was looking for experiences But accidentally found connection
What I didn't know Was what a damaged soul looked like What I didn't know Was that you were a blackhole gobbling the light
What you didn't know Was I was a whole universe What you didn't know Was divine light cannot be devoured
We didn't begin as we ended We started as a soft glow Hopeful and carefree I couldn't tell you when I think the inferno began
I became the fuel that you would burn Trying to fill your infernal yearning The gaping emptiness inside of you With a meaningful light That once was me
I thought if I loved you enough I would somehow be enough To sate your appetite for more But all you were was an insatiable maw And I a blazing star Who's fire was never bright enough Who's light could never warm you up Because black holes cannot be quenched They can only demand - MORE
So I became a comet with a star at its core My corona full of survival and fury Breaking free of your event horizon I would not be devoured by your darkness
Now no light surrounds you You have consumed all else you had Nothing orbits you but cold and quiet The space around you dead
When you met me We had hope we could love each other well When I left you Was to heal from just how far I fell But I'm a girl with phoenix wings And a star within my heart I blaze a trail across the sky As I make a fresh new start
Don’t let a broken heart break you Don’t let cruelty shatter your dreams A soul is a molten thing Capable of mending Reshaping Visualize the shape you wish to be And believe You are an alchemist
I sit in my silver armor upon my golden throne Light streams in through my temple's high windows Painting the floor below my dais in deep lavender beams The temple is quiet and familiar and mine
The doors to the chamber open and he enters Shadows trailing from his shoulders Like a cloak woven from smoke He strides forward Until he is stopped by the barrier of lavender light We lock eyes with each other He kneels upon the stones A gesture of only minor supplication For his eyes never leave mine
I close my eyes and breathe I feel the gauntlets release from my wrists The greaves from my legs The chest plate and chain mail The weight of them suddenly gone I open my eyes and watch as the armor becomes dark smoke Passing through the boundary Returning to him I do not need protection any longer The silver collar releases from my throat Then the silver circlet from my brow And last the silver band upon my finger The weight of him removed from me Cleansed and returned to his keeping
My eyes return to his Now he breathes deeply and black smoke flows from him As it passes through the lavender boundary The smoke becomes like liquid gold A delicate gold filigree pendent alights above my heart Glowing with a quietly fierce fire I can feel a gentle thrum as it syncs with my pulse Upon my head appears a grand and golden fiery crown Radiating strength and power Pulsing with each breath Now restored, these symbols of my power blaze to life Burning away every shadow in the temple Returning the quiet fire to my eyes
His shadows retreat as does his gaze He bows his head once This ritual of returning and release ended I watch as he rises, turns, and retreats He disappears back through the temple's doors They close silently behind him Tethered together no longer I sit in my power Whole again and free
I want to live in a cabin between the woods and the sea I want to smell mossy earth and pine resin at daybreak Wood smoke and salt air at sunset I want to be surrounded by books and filtered sunlight Candles, blank pages, and moonlight I want to walk with hopes by day And dance with dreams by night I want to watch banana slugs explore my garden I want to hear the chorus of crashing waves Gulls crying exultantly from the sky Wind playing chase through the cypress boughs
I want to be free of the chains of expectations Free of the weight of the looming other shoe I wish not to drink from any more bitter cups Fall on any more swords Remove twisted daggers from my back I crave peace Beauty Lightness Hope Creativity Freedom I crave relationships that are mutually supportive That nurture souls That transact in honesty Respectfulness Genuineness Ease Love
"Love is not enough" This was a truth I gave you In place of a kiss goodbye Love is not enough to bridge The chasm separating us Neither is it flexible enough To withstand the tension It cannot rewrite our history Erase the years of pain It cannot alter reality Nor save our unsalvageable marriage The love between us is a shadow A wraith A remnant Of a hope dressed up to look like love In third-hand threadbare finery The illusion shattered And the real state of things exposed
Words Wishes and Wisdom 