Tag: wordsmithing

Dueling

Asking for help often feels like failure
Like challenging my shame to a duel
Dueling with my shame is graceless and ugly
Inflicting a million tiny self-judging cuts  
To my compromised self-esteem

I try to grab onto the radiating love
When the call for help is answered
Letting that love eclipse my shame
Transmute that shame with humble gratitude
Into worthiness
I know those who offer their support
Do so selflessly because to them I am worthy
Even when I don’t feel so 

 -gws

Affirmations Inspired by Sarah J Maas Novels

Screen Shot from http://www.sarahjmaas.com
I will not fear
I will not falter
I will not yield
I am the great storm coming
I will rattle the stars

My freedom will mean something
The wicked will not haunt my thoughts
I will not let the hard days win
I will remain unwavering in the face of hopelessness
I will climb the mountain
I will not be afraid
I will not survive or exist, but live

I am the rock against which the surf crashes, nothing can break me
I am the spirit that cannot be broken
Only I can decide what breaks me
I will not be broken or tamed
I will not be caged
I will allow no force in the world to keep me contained
I will bow to no one

I will not feel bad for doing things that bring me joy
I am the dreamer who will remake the world
I am elegant, feminine, and utterly wild
I will not be afraid of what makes me shine brightly
Mine is not a story of darkness

-gws


I Have No Smiles for You Today

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com
I have no smiles for you today
I will not push away my melancholy
My face is painted in shades of grief I refuse to hide

I have hidden my pain
My shame
My fear
My rage 
For far too long

I will not hide this grief from view
I will not bury deep my truth
I have suffered for years in silence
I will do my mourning in the light

I am red and raw
Bruised and beaten
Emerging from nightmares
Questing toward a life unburdened

Dead dreams crunching underfoot 
Like so many fallen leaves
Shattered hopes glittering
Like shards of glass in my wake

I have no smiles for you today
My mourning clothes are on display
And when its done things may not change
I have put all my masks away

-gws

The Dark Side of Hope

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com
Hope is a fickle thing
Often false
Illusory
A mirage
A baseless promise

Hope motivates us forward
Baiting us with potential
Failing to prepare us for the broken heart
Inevitable after it evaporates

Hope is the rainbow that can never be caught
The dream that refuses to be remembered after waking
The gilded lie we tell ourselves to survive hell
The ten more seconds or minutes or days or years
We clutch with white knuckles and held breaths

Hope is binary
For all it inspires
It is equally devastating
Its dark face too ugly to acknowledge
Its broken legacies left to nightmares and Grimm tales

-gws

I Hurt Just the Same

Photo by PhotoMIX Company on Pexels.com
I don't feel well today
Reverberating echos of broken dreams
Aching pervasive guilt
Persistent pointless hope
That will not stay snuffed out
Nothing is wrong
And I hurt just the same

I don't feel well today
The sun still rose in a misty pink sky
The flowers are blooming and busy with bees
Birds sing songs of spring awakening
Amongst the newly sprouted leaves
Nothing is wrong
And I hurt just the same

I don't feel well today
Warm afternoon sunlight dries tears
That slip from beneath my sunglasses
The world assaults my senses
Too loud, bright, fast
Nothing is wrong
And I hurt just the same

I don't feel well today
I am told that time heals
That I'm doing the right things
That I didn't cause it
I can't control or cure it
Nothing is wrong
And I hurt just the same

-gws