I Have No Smiles for You Today

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I have no smiles for you today
I will not push away my melancholy
My face is painted in shades of grief I refuse to hide

I have hidden my pain
My shame
My fear
My rage
For far too long

I will not hide this grief from view
I will not bury deep my truth
I have suffered for years in silence
I will do my mourning in the light

I am red and raw
Bruised and beaten
Emerging from nightmares
Questing toward a life unburdened

Dead dreams crunching underfoot
Like so many fallen leaves
Shattered hopes glittering
Like shards of glass in my wake

I have no smiles for you today
My mourning clothes are on display
And when its done things may not change
I have put all my masks away

-gws

The Dark Side of Hope

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Hope is a fickle thing
Often false
Illusory
A mirage
A baseless promise

Hope motivates us forward
Baiting us with potential
Failing to prepare us for the broken heart
Inevitable after it evaporates

Hope is the rainbow that can never be caught
The dream that refuses to be remembered after waking
The gilded lie we tell ourselves to survive hell
The ten more seconds or minutes or days or years
We clutch with white knuckles and held breaths

Hope is binary
For all it inspires
It is equally devastating
Its dark face too ugly to acknowledge
Its broken legacies left to nightmares and Grimm tales

-gws

I Hurt Just the Same

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I don't feel well today
Reverberating echos of broken dreams
Aching pervasive guilt
Persistent pointless hope
That will not stay snuffed out
Nothing is wrong
And I hurt just the same

I don't feel well today
The sun still rose in a misty pink sky
The flowers are blooming and busy with bees
Birds sing songs of spring awakening
Amongst the newly sprouted leaves
Nothing is wrong
And I hurt just the same

I don't feel well today
Warm afternoon sunlight dries tears
That slip from beneath my sunglasses
The world assaults my senses
Too loud, bright, fast
Nothing is wrong
And I hurt just the same

I don't feel well today
I am told that time heals
That I'm doing the right things
That I didn't cause it
I can't control or cure it
Nothing is wrong
And I hurt just the same

-gws

To Love Me Properly

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To love me properly

Be vulnerable
Come honest

Practice deep curiosity
Not just about me
About EVERYTHING!

Be emotionally intelligent
Especially about yourself

Dream
Imagine

Never forget how to look at me
Like I'm the North Star

Want me to write books of poetry about
How you and me equals us

Dance with me to the rhythm of our heartbeats

Enjoy staying up into the quiet hours
Discussing obscure and wonderful things

Willingly and gently hold space for me
Be okay with being, and being with quiet company

Give and receive love in spontaneous small gestures

Own your imperfections gracefully
Own your mistakes openly

Love me fiercely and without chains

Hunt for magic in the world
Create magic in its absence

Play for the sake of it

Respect me in thought, word, and deed
Honor me by dancing in the light of all my
Shining diamond facets
I'll do the same for you

Desire to embrace a prismatic life

Whatever is left undefined here
Treat as an opportunity to dive deeper
Learn more
Know me better
I am bottomless
An endless landscape to explore

Be willing to be broken open
I want to run my mind over every square inch of your soul
Commit to memory the scars life has left on your heart
So that I may know how to navigate your rough waters

I want to listen to the meanderings of your inner child

I want to know you in 360 degrees
And three dimensions

Be brave enough to shine light into your shadows
Unashamed because you understand
How important healing oneself is

Be secure in my transparency

Be like stained glass
Brilliantly and complexly designed
Beautiful and translucent

Know that love is a lifetime conversation
A dance that never ends
Shifting and changing
Gracefully synchronized

The prerequisites for loving me properly
May sound unachievable
But to the right person
It will sound like a revelation

-gws