Tag: poetry

Gaslighting

You refused to take responsibility 
So I accepted it instead
Until the day I found 
You in someone else’s bed

You didn’t do the right thing
You clutched your pearls and said,
“If only you had been the wife
You promised when we wed”

At first I shrank around the wound
Thinking you were right
Believing that it may be true
That I’d been a lousy wife

I thought of all the arguments 
That were constant in our life
The years of ugly, cutting blame
The insistence you were right

But then the rage came rushing in
You would gaslight me no more
I said that you were full of shit
And kicked you out the door

I realized I had done my part
In holding up my vow
It was you who failed on every front
I’d not be blamed right now

You made choices on your own
Now I have made some too
So hit the road, you selfish prick
Gaslighting days are through 

-gws

Tabula Rasa

My future is tabula rasa
Full of possibilities

Slow to emerge from the long shadows 
And still brushing off the cobwebs of shame, doubt, and fear
I begin to wonder what awaits me
Who awaits me

The question nauseates me
I'm not ready to open my heart
Nor do I expect to be ready any time soon
And yet I find myself wondering 
Will there be another 
My heart fearfully whispering,
"Will I get a second chance?"

I'm not ready to fall in love again
I am only longing for the magic of falling
The elation that comes from feeling seen
Feeling chosen
Because all I wanted for so long 
Was to feel chosen
To be enough

I am working to remember how to love me
How to be enough for myself
How to appreciate my perfect imperfections
How to forgive the choices I made to survive
I must become reacquainted with me

My future is tabula rasa
Full of possibilities
Bursting with opportunity to craft a life I want to live
And blessed with time to heal from a life I endured
I embrace my next chapter gratefully
Even as my knees quake with each step forward

My blank slate has its first word: freedom
Its second word: peace
I think that's a beautiful place for a new story to start

-gws

Welcome Fall

Days grow shorter
Mornings and evenings delightfully chilled
Long afternoons warm, hazy, and tea-colored
Cool breezes dance from the sea into the valley
Making layered wardrobes a must this time of year

The world starts to quiet down
Though restlessly at first
Unwilling to relinquish summer's vitality
Harvest season half complete
The trees begin debuting their fall finery 
Resplendent in reds, golds, and browns
As purple hues return to sunset skies

The golden hour earns its name now
As the last dandelion seeds drift through dried grasses awash in glowing rays
Shadows deepen as homes reflect amber radiance in westward facing window panes
Preparing to welcome night's elongating visits earlier each day

The resting season is arriving
It carries with it ghostly tales told under cloud-filtered moonlight
Candlelight and story craft
Blankets, books, and honeyed tea
Soups, stews, and baked goods of all kinds
Air laden with aromatic spices and yeast

The world grows gradually quieter
Chirping crickets slow their masterpieces from allegro to adagio
Singing the world into a calmer pace before putting away their instruments 
Fall readies to welcome dreamers and philosophers
Writers and witches
All the laborers of the mind and spirit
Into its gentle comforting arms

-gws