I plunge my hands
Into the dark soil
To harvest the fruits
Of gratitude into the light
It is practical work
Grounding work
Spiritual work
To nourish my soul
Drawing upon the root work
Already deeply planted
I turn my face to the sun
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Harvesting
Category: Recovery
Healing
The road to healing
Is long and winding
I must follow it
One step
One breath
At a time
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Unfolding
I used to try to force my day to unfold according to my will.
Now, I try to allow the will of the day to unfold me.
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To Thine Own Self Be True
This above all
To thine own self be true
But damn
Is that a hard thing to do
I want to hold
To my own principles
To set firm my jaw
And without a pause
Hold firm the ground
I'm planted upon
But when I say no
You refuse to move on
Turning my insides
Upside and down
Knitting my eyebrows
And causing a frown
Why is honoring me
Such an ask
It's not like I'm begging
Some outrageous task
I'm asking for only
Mutual respect
Yet you recoil
As if you were decked
Leaving me feeling
Like I've caused you harm
While my heart is rattling
My chest in alarm
Now I'm a monster
For making my needs
A priority which
Leaves you aggrieved
One day soon
I will disavow
Ownership of
What's forced on me now
I will figure out how
To my own self be true
And with peace in my heart
I will leave you
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Whole Again
I’m learning how to experience joy without
my broken heart fearing that the experience will be taken from me before I can feel it fully
To feel the elation without it immediately triggering tears of mourning
It’s difficult and beautiful learning how to become whole again
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Strong Alone
I read, “and in the end, all I learned was how to be strong alone.”
I disagree.
In the end, I have learned that living a kind and authentic life earns you connections with good people with big hearts who are willing to catch and hold you when you fall.
Strength cannot exist without vulnerability. You only have to be alone if you choose to shut the world out.
Be willing to be vulnerable.
Be willing to ask for help.
Be more willing to receive help.
Build a loving village.
You don’t have to be alone to be strong.
Being alone is a choice, not a consequence.
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Ritual of Returning and Release
I sit in my silver armor upon my golden throne
Light streams in through my temple's high windows
Painting the floor below my dais in deep lavender beams
The temple is quiet and familiar and mine
The doors to the chamber open and he enters
Shadows trailing from his shoulders
Like a cloak woven from smoke
He strides forward
Until he is stopped by the barrier of lavender light
We lock eyes with each other
He kneels upon the stones
A gesture of only minor supplication
For his eyes never leave mine
I close my eyes and breathe
I feel the gauntlets release from my wrists
The greaves from my legs
The chest plate and chain mail
The weight of them suddenly gone
I open my eyes and watch as the armor becomes dark smoke
Passing through the boundary
Returning to him
I do not need protection any longer
The silver collar releases from my throat
Then the silver circlet from my brow
And last the silver band upon my finger
The weight of him removed from me
Cleansed and returned to his keeping
My eyes return to his
Now he breathes deeply and black smoke flows from him
As it passes through the lavender boundary
The smoke becomes like liquid gold
A delicate gold filigree pendent alights above my heart
Glowing with a quietly fierce fire
I can feel a gentle thrum as it syncs with my pulse
Upon my head appears a grand and golden fiery crown
Radiating strength and power
Pulsing with each breath
Now restored, these symbols of my power blaze to life
Burning away every shadow in the temple
Returning the quiet fire to my eyes
His shadows retreat as does his gaze
He bows his head once
This ritual of returning and release ended
I watch as he rises, turns, and retreats
He disappears back through the temple's doors
They close silently behind him
Tethered together no longer
I sit in my power
Whole again and free
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Generational Trauma
Do onto others as you wish to be done onto
This is the call
Cast off the shackles of
Abuse
Neglect
Mistreatment
Harm
The scars that mar your ancestors
The scars that mar you
The greatest gift given in life
Free will
Wield it like a craftsman
Hold it like a pen and
Rewrite your story
Erase the patterns from your pages
Show your children that you
Can reshape the stars in the sky
Show them how to heal in the light of the moon
And the bright beacon of day
No future is written in stone
No fate inevitable
Let it begin here
By deciding the pain of the past
Ends here
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Redemption
Sometimes
The simple act of cleaning a toilet
Can feel like redemption
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Patience
Patience is hard
Growing
Becoming
Evolving
All require patience
In a world where instant gratification
Rewards us at the tap of a button
Practicing patience can feel like torture
Patience demands of us
To stay tethered to this moment
Preventing any full escape into distraction
Being present is trying
It feels hard
Abrasive
Affronting
We are uncomfortable
Patience requires us to
Embrace the discomfort
That often comes from
Being wholly present
Patience presents the opportunity
To practice experiencing the now
To practice being curious
About our being
About our feelings
So that we may learn
To know ourselves better
So that we may learn to be
More comfortable
In our own skin
In our own spirit
In our own life
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 