Better

I have been asked
If I thought I didn't deserve better
If I thought I couldn't have better
If I thought he was the best I could do
NO
I knew I deserved better
I knew I was worth better
I knew I could have better
I was in love
I believed my relationship
Could become better
Would become better
I just had to wait and believe
I clung to breadcrumbs
While my soul starved
I believed in a dream
Long past its expiration date
I held onto hope
Even when the nightmares
Haunted the wakeful day
I had to do everything I could
Until it became undeniably clear
There was nothing else I could do
When it was clear it was him and not me
I had shown up
Put the work in
Tried and cried and tired again
And he wouldn't meet me
He couldn't accept responsibility for his part
He wouldn't do the work
He wanted me to keep changing
Transforming
Making myself less so he could be more
Smaller
More compliant
Less of a person
More of a puppet
A Stepford Wife
That could never please him anyway
I knew that my luminescence was what drew him to me
My shine was acceptable then
My shine is acceptable now
Just not to him
I knew love shouldn't feel like this
Be like this
Behave like this
Hurt like this
Love does not bully
Love does not belittle
Love does not plot against the one it adores
Love does not manipulate or blame
Love does not destroy others to make itself feel powerful
My hope became my prison
An escape room I allowed to be created around me
I found myself trapped in its ever shifting walls
It would take time
It would take opportunity
It would take all the courage I had to leave
To choose me
And to not look back
I do deserve better
And reclaiming myself
Is where I start to create better

-gws

Storyteller Heart

Photo by Mu0103lina Su00eerbu on Pexels.com
With awkward ineloquent rhymes
I started breathing life into words I tattooed
Onto untold reams of pressed dead trees
When I was still learning how to tell my story
I held too much inside
I needed a pressure valve
An escape hatch for my muted voice
That had so much to say
But hid from the light of day
To hold space for my soul which felt so keenly
I juggled words in my mind
Like a magician rolls coins across his knuckles
A dance of language
Choreographed to the rhythm of heartbeats
Raw and unrefined
But as necessary as air
I worried about those early musings
Sure they were self-indulgent nonsense
Important to no one but me
But that was the point
The words were important to no one but me
The way they should be
If others understood them
If others were moved by them
Then I was doing something extra that was right
I gave my voice the space to tell my story
Released my experience as art
Defined by my own rules
A baby poet learning how to
Let her storyteller heart fly

-gws


To Thine Own Self Be True

Photo by Miriam Espacio on Pexels.com
This above all 
To thine own self be true
But damn
Is that a hard thing to do
I want to hold
To my own principles
To set firm my jaw
And without a pause
Hold firm the ground
I'm planted upon
But when I say no
You refuse to move on
Turning my insides
Upside and down
Knitting my eyebrows
And causing a frown
Why is honoring me
Such an ask
It's not like I'm begging
Some outrageous task
I'm asking for only
Mutual respect
Yet you recoil
As if you were decked
Leaving me feeling
Like I've caused you harm
While my heart is rattling
My chest in alarm
Now I'm a monster
For making my needs
A priority which
Leaves you aggrieved
One day soon
I will disavow
Ownership of
What's forced on me now
I will figure out how
To my own self be true
And with peace in my heart
I will leave you

-gws


Tell Your Story

Tell your story
Detail your plot twists
Describe how you penned your own ending
How you dreamt your next prolific chapter
You are proof that dragons can be slain
Villains can be outwitted
That the condemned can become the hero
Be the light that illuminates someone else’s
Pages through your inspiration
Show that soul their narrative can be altered
Show that soul their misery can become triumph
Because you have told them it can be done
Because you have shown them it was done

-gws

A Love Song for Myself

Photo by Elina Sazonova on Pexels.com
I will write a love song for myself
A song of hope
A song so free
A song of everything I want to be

I will write a love song for myself
A ballad of returning
A ballad of ascension
A ballad celebrating my redemption

I will write a love song for myself
A tune for forging forward paths
A tune for changing ways
A tune for the coming better days

I will write a love song for myself
A triumphant magnum opus
A symphony of surrender and release
A life-renewing masterpiece

-gws

How the Wind Came and Changed Everything

Photo by Natalie Bond on Pexels.com
My curls dance around my face
As the wind kisses my cheeks rosy
These are the winds of change
Smelling of hope and promise
Action and evolution
The wind sings dreams of change to me
It pulls at my skirts
Kisses goosebumps onto my skin
Willing me to move my feet
Daring me to take a chance
Toward unwritten promise
I toss on my sweater
Pick up my notebook
Tamp down my hat
And walk toward the unknown
Wind cheering at my back
Celebrating the changing of everything

-gws