In another life I might have been A pirate queen A courtesan A poison-wielding spy A teacher's pet A protégé The apple of your eye A doe-eyed starlet A beatnik poet A comic, humor wry An astronaut A swimming star A mime who would not cry And yet I have this life to live One shot for this go 'round For all the mes that might have been I like the me I found -gws
Each time the house shook I knew A storm was brewing With unbridled rage Knew that pools of acrid magma Were rising to the surface Seeking release Each time the house shook I knew That nowhere was safe There was not enough time to escape The maelstrom was coming Wrathful and vicious Seeking release Each time the house shook I knew I would stand against the gale Diving deep into my power Drawing on an ancient strength Of ancestor, element, and divinity Seeking release -gws
I often wonder if I'm missing something I keep seeming to make the same mistake Unable to avoid the pothole I know is there To avoid the nail that snags my sweaters Every time I walk past Always forgetting the indulgence that makes me ill Perhaps these continuous tragedies are the result of An education I have failed to get Or failed to learn from The ripping and tearing The tripping and falling The banging and bruising All from things I know will cause me harm Things I should know to avoid And yet I cannot seem to hold the lessons I cannot seem to employ the learning And I wonder what is wrong with me -gws
Do you earn medals for hurting me Because you treat it like an Olympic sport? Are my tears some cocktail that intoxicates your soul For I have cried oceans at your words and deeds? Is my pain the wood for your spiteful fire For it seems to always stoke your rage higher? When did the joy we shared turn to ash? When did that concentrated venom infuse into your words? When did you develop such resentment of me to turn your eyes to depth-less stone? -gws
When my roots are nourished The fire at my core ignites The light returns to my eyes As my soul flares bright with renewal Colors become more vivid Flavors more complex My pupils dilate The world is exciting again Enticing again When my roots are nourished My mind becomes expansive Filled with possibilities, curiosities, and wonderment My blood sings universal mysteries into my ears As I become wholly seated in my body So that I may experience life Amongst the tapestry of human sensations When my roots are nourished I crave deeper connections My need for physical touch grows Primal energy infuses my thoughts and dreams As I desire to experience the universe on a spiritual level Burning across the sky in an explosion of sacred energy Enlightened and sated and complete -gws
I cannot describe the powerful alchemy that occurs when I engage in deep conversation with someone I vibrate with It fills up the place where magic lives in my soul It is like rain in the desert It makes me whole -gws
No one knows No one knows the unfathomable rage I am home to No one sees the hot coals behind my eyes No one hears the internal screaming resounding in my chest No one feels the radiant heat of my simmering anger No one knows the infinite plans of vengeance I push down No one knows the resilient heat of the embers of resentment hidden just below the surface No one witnesses the growing of my impotent fury I am a soul under pressure I am determined to produce diamonds and not explosions Some days the beast pleads to be freed so its tongue can lash and its claws can rip I am stronger than my base self And I will restrain the monster until I can heal the wounds that feed and fuel it I am resolved to not become or be consumed by the monster My desire to be whole is greater than my desire to fracture and destroy No one knows I am fighting to heal No one knows that I am determined to heal I know I will heal I will heal I will be whole -gws
You don't know me But you think you do I am the one who rides The one who looks out from the eyes with impartial curiosity I am here I am, also, not I am the third person perspective Existing in a first person world Standing in front of you But hiding in plain sight -gws
Today I chose to stay present I chose to stay in sync with my breath I chose to stay with the rhythm of my resting heartbeat Today I chose to just listen I chose to release my assumptions I chose to keep my defenses sheathed Today I chose to show up curious I chose to leave my assumptions aside I chose to suppress my desire to make judgements Today I shed the skin of old behaviors I chose to make conscious choices in the face of old fears I chose to prove to myself that I can evolve -gws
If you were to leave right now I'd be just fine I already know how to survive without you You have provided me with years of practice -gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 