How Do You Manage Alone

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I am the fourth daughter to do it alone
Independence and survival are in my DNA
Only child to a single mother
Only granddaughter amongst the cousins
Only kid on my block
I have lived in comfortable aloneness most of my life
Do not believe I do not get lonely
I know how to remedy loneliness
Trusted family
Tribe
Are always a keystroke or "hello" away

I'd prefer to have a partner
To help me raise and support my children
But not at the cost of my independence
My independence is foundational in my peace
If I cannot retain my independent spirit
I cannot sustain my sense of self
I need a partner who walks alongside me
Who understands that I need to run in my wildness
Who does not try to domesticate me
Into something less than myself

Aloneness is not absence or lack
It is the space where I meet myself
It is the door to my Narnia
The place where unfettered dreams thrive
Where words waltz in ballgowns and tails
Where stories bloom from rich soil
Where I sit in conversation with discomfort
Where I sit in conversation with my gods
It is the garden of my delights
And it is as precious to me as air

How do I manage alone you ask
I understand that I'm never really alone
I'm as alone as I choose to be
I'm helped as much as I choose to ask for it
It is not as perfect or simple as these stanzas may imply
But the essence of my truth is here
Simplified
Distilled into a comprehensible version
Of my vast and complex reality
A demonstration of shifting perspective
Being alone carries so much oppressive connotation
I choose to experience it as a necessary liberation
Allowing me to navigate life by my own north star
Inspiring me to never lose sight of myself again

-gws

I Am No Poet

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I am no poet
I am an observer
A curious wallflower
Peering into the places most do not dare
The voyeur blending in and watching
Keenly aware of the scene and vibe

I am no poet
I am a witness
A lyrical historian
Peeling back the layers of what is obvious
Making note and taking measure
Commenting on the beauty and the bruise

I am no poet
I am a documentarian
A mental photographer
Describing the visage of the soul
Capturing the form of feeling
Casting light on dreams

I am no poet
I am an illustrator
A linguistic artist
Scratching lines on paper
Forming images from curves of ink
Building portraits from words

I am no poet
I am a woman
A single breathe in the wind
Performing no obvious magic
Sharing the same life experience
Human and divine

-gws

I Identify with Persephone

I identify with Persephone

I am a spring maiden at heart
Celebrating life’s sunshine and rainbows
A believer in growth and renewal
Optimistic and hopeful

I also hold a dread queen in my soul
Content to sit quietly in darkness
Observant and calculated
Unafraid of the shadows
Happy to don my crown
Glimmering with pomegranate seeds
The color of blood
To remind the foolish
I am not the one

-gws

Creation

My soul vibrates
Longing to be a conduit for creation
The spark burns high and hot
My hands long to be covered in
Ink
Paint
Pastels
To fill blank pages with worlds
That only exist in the nebula inside me
Demanding to birth a thousand stars
Urgent and consuming
I long to surrender to the deflagration
Of creative energy
Igniting a conflagration
Leaving me empty and sated
Surrounded by pages filled with words
Dipped in vivid colors and
Complex textures
Tangible, living pieces of me
Like so many falling leaves in autumn

-gws

Villain Era

Before I enter my “Healed Woman” era
I must detour into my “Villain” era
You see…
I was cast in the villain role for so long
I might as well embrace the casting for a term
With that said…
Do not be concerned at my black wardrobe
My blood red lips
Do not pay mind to my near silent mumbling
As I light candles and cast salt about
Fret not over my narrowed, focused eyes
Rimmed in thick black liner
As I observe and calculate my options
Do not wonder about the herb-coated offerings
Laid out beneath the full moon
None of it is your concern
Cross the street
Avert your gaze
Do not trouble yourself wondering in my direction
I’m embracing my dark side
Doing my shadow work
If my shadow is meant to fall upon you
You will know

-gws