The Dark Side of Hope

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Hope is a fickle thing
Often false
Illusory
A mirage
A baseless promise

Hope motivates us forward
Baiting us with potential
Failing to prepare us for the broken heart
Inevitable after it evaporates

Hope is the rainbow that can never be caught
The dream that refuses to be remembered after waking
The gilded lie we tell ourselves to survive hell
The ten more seconds or minutes or days or years
We clutch with white knuckles and held breaths

Hope is binary
For all it inspires
It is equally devastating
Its dark face too ugly to acknowledge
Its broken legacies left to nightmares and Grimm tales

-gws

Delight

Wander down a country road
Flowers in your hair
Dance inside your living room
Without a single care
Wish upon a shooting star
Or say a sacred prayer
Live your life with pure delight
Lay your true self bare

-gws

I Hurt Just the Same

I don't feel well today
Reverberating echos of broken dreams
Aching pervasive guilt
Persistent pointless hope
That will not stay snuffed out
Nothing is wrong
And I hurt just the same

I don't feel well today
The sun still rose in a misty pink sky
The flowers are blooming and busy with bees
Birds sing songs of spring awakening
Amongst the newly sprouted leaves
Nothing is wrong
And I hurt just the same

I don't feel well today
Warm afternoon sunlight dries tears
That slip from beneath my sunglasses
The world assaults my senses
Too loud, bright, fast
Nothing is wrong
And I hurt just the same

I don't feel well today
I am told that time heals
That I'm doing the right things
That I didn't cause it
I can't control or cure it
Nothing is wrong
And I hurt just the same

-gws

Candle of Hope

How many times do I have to snuff out the candle of hope in my chest because my heart refuses to accept that you are incapable of being who I need you to be?

-gws

Hinterland

Inspired by comics from Incidental Comics

I looked out from the promontory of life
Across a vast hinterland
The turbid quagmire miles behind me
The frisson of trepidation abated for now
I wish to tracklessly caper in those hinterlands
Beneath a lustrous azure sky
Vesuvian days released to the past
Gossamer hopes eddy about me like a corolla
Hopes of enduring eudaemonia
No longer needing to latibulate in darkness
Before me stands my Elysian dreams
Filled with halcyon days
And tranquil gloamings
I will alight in a new and unblemished existence
A ruderal redeemed
Awaiting rich and fertile soil of a new life
Under the radiant zenith of a new day

-gws

In more common language:

I look out from the overlook of life
Across a vast unknown
The confusing, unstable ground behind me
The sudden fear of trepidation abated for now
I wish to tracklessly revel in those unknown lands
Beneath a shining blue sky
Explosive, volatile days released to the past
Delicate hopes whirl about me like the swirl at the heart of a flower
Hopes of enduring happiness
No longer needing to hide in a corner in darkness
Before me stands my dreams of paradise
Filled with idyllically happy and prosperous days
And tranquil twilights
I will land and settle in a new and unblemished existence
A plant growing amongst the concrete redeemed
Awaiting rich and fertile soil of a new life
Under the radiant height of a new day

-gws

War Paint

I have worn my tear stains like war paint
The flush of agony, despair, and rage, too
I have unleashed keening so potent 
The gods stopped to answer
With a path to deliverance 

-gws

Rather

Even in the deepest darkness 
You will not reach for the light 
You would rather drown in your pride
Than consider you may not be right

-gws

Brown-eyed Boy

He was a brown-eyed boy
Freckles on his cheeks
He shared his gummy Coke bottles
And always picked me to play at recess
He was a little misunderstood
But not by me
I saw him as kindred
He helped transform the gray playground
Into space ships and fantastical landscapes
It didn't matter I was an icky girl
Or that he was a yucky boy
He was comfortable with me
And I with him
My heart broke when he moved away
I never meant to lose contact but we did
We found each other for a minute 
Just after high school
He sent me a letter and a picture
A man's version of the freckled face I once knew
Adorned in dress blues
I think I responded too enthusiastically
I never got another letter
And my heart broke a second time
I hope that wherever he is
He is happy
A brown-eyed boy
With freckles on his cheeks
Sharing gummy Coke bottles
With someone he loves

-gws

Questions

How did it feel when I was finally arrested?
Did it bring you glee to know I was handcuffed and taken away?
Were you happy your long standing desire was finally fulfilled?
Were you satisfied with yourself?
Did you celebrate?
Did you pat yourself on the back triumphantly?
Did you rejoice knowing I was forced into the company of actual criminals?
Did it make you giddy to know I experienced the humiliation of being strip searched?
Were you finally satisfied to get the mother of your children arrested?
Was it all you hoped for?

Who does that?
Who plots plans premediates such things?
Who bates and berates?
Who starts a fire and fans the flames?
Who then pretends that they didn't create the inferno?
Who has no remorse?
Who shows love like that?
Who did I marry?
How soon can I be free?

-gws

Tinsel

Among my dark tresses
Magic is sprouting
So many threads of silver tinsel
Adorning my head like glittering filaments 
Filling my hair with starlight

-gws