Category: Emotions

Hollywood Nights

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These Hollywood nights are long
The city filled with thousands of souls
All of us together yet alone
The green and white neon outside my window burns intrusively bright
Adding to my restlessness in an unforgiving summer heat
I imagine this is what Hell feels like
All sweat, restlessness, longing, and need
The fan whirls and clicks in the corner of the room
Impotent in its efforts to bring relief

I stare at soot-stained walls remembering
You are mine and I am yours
Though we are neither
You haunt my dreams
The smell of you
The taste of you
The dancing electricity of your skin against mine
The spark of us igniting together
I submerge into the memory of us
Distracting myself from the oppression of a city that welcomes no one

I see your silhouette leaning over me when I close my eyes
I feel the softness of your lips and the heat of your breath
I shiver as goosebumps rise on my too hot skin
I can almost feel your hands on my body
And the ghost of your lust-heavy voice whispering in my ear
I let out an inaudible gasp as rivulets of sweat run races along my throat
Reminding me of your fingertips

Sirens suddenly erupt from the street
The walls now the stage for the dance of red and blue strobes
Reality returns with its harsh shadows and sharp light
Razor-edged voices rise up from the sidewalk
Flavoring the oppressive night with desperation and power struggles
I take a drag off my joint in an attempt to increase the space between me and the world
I hold the smoke in my lungs for as long as I can
Praying that when I release it that I can float away from this existence with it
Back to the place where you held me close in a cool, comforting illusion of love

-gws





Holding Space

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Holding space is a sacred practice
It is the ultimate act of presence
Holding space is like drawing a circle of protection
It feels like sitting beneath a bright sky on a warm afternoon in earl fall
It feels like opening your arms wide as if you could embrace all of Creation
It feels like sitting by a bedside in deep prayer
Holding space is allowing room for feelings to flow freely without concerns for time
Or worries of judgement, puzzling out solutions, or providing traditional comfort
Holding space is not about fixing anyone or anything
It is about allowing what is to just be as it needs to be
It is about allowing a soul to just be as it needs to be
For as long as needed
It is about honoring the process
It is about walking along someone in silent vigil as they navigate their journey
Sometimes that is just for a moment
Sometimes that is for a gauntlet
Holding space is saying that my heart beats with yours for as long as you have need
Without expectation
Without demand
Holding space is bearing witness with love, respect and grace

-gws

If

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If wishes were grains of sand
I'd own beach front property

If hopes were shooting stars
Every night would be the Perseids

If dreams were glitter
I'd be a drag queen on a Saturday night

If fairy tales were real
True love's kiss would have delivered me from my waking trials

But I do not live at the beach
Or sleep below a light-streaked sky

I do not glitter on a stage
And there is no magical happy ever after

I, instead, walk moment to moment
Doing my best to keep my feet

I rub weariness from my eyes
And sadness from my heart

And despite myself, I continue to wish and hope and dream
Because my dreamer's heart is more stubborn than my jaded mind

-gws

Your Birthday

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Your birthday has arrived again
An honored remembrance of the day 
When your spirit debuted into the world
In a sacred vessel made of water and earth
A joyous day, indeed
Your value is beyond measure
Your insight has no equal
You cast no shadow upon the ground
For you are a source of light
Full of humor and mischief
Love and compassion
There is no one else like you
And let it be known how honored I am
To call you, Friend
-gws

Sweet Water

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Come, thee, to the sweet waters, Child
Come, let Her waters wash over thee
Come, let them cleanse thy soul
Let the sweet waters renew and restore thee

Come, thee, to the sweet waters, Child
Come, release thy sorrowful tears to Her
Come, let the waters soothe the scars on your skin
Let the sweet waters bare away thy hurt and pain

Come, thee, to the sweet waters, Child
Come, cool thy weary feet at Her banks
Come, drink from Her cold springs
Let the sweet waters refresh and rejuvenate thy body and spirit

Come, thee, to the sweet waters, Child
Come, lay down thy burdens in Her currents
Come, relinquish thy distresses to Her care
Let the sweet waters carry away thy worries to leave thee only peace

-gws

Already Gone

How do I turn down the pain?
How do I stop the loop that repeatedly plays your violent words that pierced my soul?
How do we recover from the bomb you threw at our feet so you could feel…
Better?
Superior?
Right?
I bled out from the wounds you gave me.
I died in front of you, and you didn’t even notice.
Worse, you didn’t care.
I have returned as a ghost, broken and haunted by unfinished business.
You try to act as if you genuinely care, but your concern is just damage control for your guilt.
Your guilt will eventually fade, and your resentments will return.  
But I am already gone.

-gws

The Show is Over

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The time has come to leave the stage
The play is done
And its run complete
The houselights are up
And the audience has departed
Douse the footlights
And extinguish the spot
It's time to remove our costumes
And our makeup
As we are players no more
And yet we linger upon the stage
Yearning for one more act
One more scene
So that we can linger in an illusion
Of happily endings

 - gws