You said I was your rock But rocks succumb To weather and water And you are a storm -gws
You are a Storm
Category: Emotions
Love Spells
Beware love spells. Beware the wanting. Beware the asking. You may get more than you bargained for. -gws
I used to write for you
I used to write for you Now I only write about you You do not have the patience Or maybe the capacity for poetry -gws
When the Pain is Greater
"In the end, you cannot save what does not want to be saved."
"When the pain is greater than the fear, you will know what to do."
Every time your resentments flow like tidal waves
I drown in a truth that is brighter than the sun
You didn’t want this life
You didn’t want me
You thought by choosing me you were…
...making right on the injuries you inflicted
...picking the girl who would be steady and sure
...thumbing your nose at your conservative parents
...proving something to your sisters
...doing what was expected of you by your family and society
...doing what you expected of yourself
You might have loved me once
But you don’t know how to love yourself
And unless you can love yourself
You cannot love anyone else
And we all suffer
You
Me
The kids
In trying to manifest some imagined expectation you believe the world burdened you with
You have doomed us to a hollow, lonely existence
In the darkest moments, I sometimes wish you had never come back
After you walked away all those years ago
I sometimes think the man I fell in love with never returned
You went out for bread and just never came back
Only your demons returned wearing your face
Time has not been kind to us
Nor has it bred kindness in us
Though I think I really tried
But the steel in your eye and the edge in your voice
As you lay down my assigned crimes in a quiet growl
Eviscerates me over and over for
The crimes of a world that doesn't adhere to your desires
It hurts to love you
And I don’t know if I have it in me to continue to try
I am drinking sand in the desert for lack of water
And I am withering inside
So just admit that I am not what you wanted
I am what you thought you should have
A requirement on the test of Life
That allowed you to check the box of successful adulthood
"Hurt people, hurt people," I've heard it said
You are a drowning man who is blindly flailing
Endangering or scaring off those who might help
I accept your life's injury and pain
But I do not accept responsibility for it
And I cannot continue to endure your wrath to heal you
"In the end, you cannot save what does not want to be saved."
"When the pain is greater than the fear, you will know what to do."
-gws
I still need…
Do you see me? I’m here! Over here! Please look my way. Right now, if you will. I need to be seen. Am I loud enough? Am I bouncy enough? Am I doing enough to draw you into me? I need to be reminded I am important to someone. To you. Right now. My inner child is screaming for recognition. Just acknowledge me and I promise I will relax. That feels good. Thank you. Wait. How about a little more? Wait, don’t go back to what you were doing. I still crave your attention. I still am desperate for validation. I still need. I still need. I still need… -gws
What do you do?
What do you do when you're bone-weary When your soul is exhausted and all you want to do is cry What do you do when you reflect on where you are And you just can't quite understand how the hell you got there What do you do when no choice seems like a good one When all your efforts feel like they still end in defeat What do you do when you feel like it's time to give up But you're sure your gut is still saying, "just a little longer" What do you do when you don't think you have more to give When you don't think you have it in you to keep finding a path through What do you do when all you know is fight But all you want is peace What do you do when you don't know what to do -gws
Who I Want to Be
I want a closet full of ball gowns that I wear to the grocery store I want a shelf full of outlandish hats that I wear to walk the dog I want a drawer full of adorable fandom socks that I wear with bedazzled sneakers I want a collection of cloaks, coats, and sweaters handmade from mismatched scraps of fabric and yarn that create random, joyous patterns I want to dance on curbs and twirl in open spaces I want to speak random bits of spontaneous verse in the park I want to compliment the charismatic child and the quietest person at the party so they know they are seen I want to be the joyous crone who says sage things and knows that life shouldn’t be taken so seriously I want to be unequivocally, undeniably me -gws
I Will Be Brave
I will be brave in the face of my fears For scarier than failure is regret I am no more guaranteed to fail than I am to succeed It is the journey that will forge and shape my next self And it is in knowing the result Whatever it may be That will allow me to travel from this life With a smile upon my lips And satisfaction in my heart Because I was brave enough to try -gws
Artist Moon
The artist moon is calling The one that makes the blood restless And the mind discontent The one that replaces sleep With lightning storms of inspiration The moon raises the spirit of dreams unrealized And fantasies unlived It whispers of wild woods and scented winds Of primal needs and elaborate, lucid dreams I am held captive in the moon's tides Ebbing and flowing as I map my own constellations in its sky And so my mind churns My pen moves Channeling the lightning into art Painting the moon's energy with barely adequate words In a desperate attempt to contain the results of its demanding influence -gws
Fierce Friends
Yesterday I saw a friend for the first time in a long time. Although it hadn't been terribly long, a lot of life happened for both of us since I last saw them. We hugged each other fiercely, as if quenching a long neglected thirst. The power of the moment, the energy and emotion that flew across the room and into my unknowingly needful arms was surprisingly welcome. Everything stopped for a few heartbeats as we existed in the silent contentment of a deeply longed for and comforting embrace. They are kindred. Family. Precious to me in ways I have no need to explain. Being with them is like sipping sweet water for my soul. Time together is always precious and seems never long enough. I look forward to the next visit together. -gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 