Among my dark tresses
Magic is sprouting
So many threads of silver tinsel
Adorning my head like glittering filaments
Filling my hair with starlight
-gws
Tinsel
Category: Self Love
Rivers
I have cried rivers
To cleanse my heart
Of the goods and bads of you
In those waters
I finally see my own reflection
Haloed in sunlight
Instead of your shadow
-gws
Better
I have been asked
If I thought I didn't deserve better
If I thought I couldn't have better
If I thought he was the best I could do
NO
I knew I deserved better
I knew I was worth better
I knew I could have better
I was in love
I believed my relationship
Could become better
Would become better
I just had to wait and believe
I clung to breadcrumbs
While my soul starved
I believed in a dream
Long past its expiration date
I held onto hope
Even when the nightmares
Haunted the wakeful day
I had to do everything I could
Until it became undeniably clear
There was nothing else I could do
When it was clear it was him and not me
I had shown up
Put the work in
Tried and cried and tired again
And he wouldn't meet me
He couldn't accept responsibility for his part
He wouldn't do the work
He wanted me to keep changing
Transforming
Making myself less so he could be more
Smaller
More compliant
Less of a person
More of a puppet
A Stepford Wife
That could never please him anyway
I knew that my luminescence was what drew him to me
My shine was acceptable then
My shine is acceptable now
Just not to him
I knew love shouldn't feel like this
Be like this
Behave like this
Hurt like this
Love does not bully
Love does not belittle
Love does not plot against the one it adores
Love does not manipulate or blame
Love does not destroy others to make itself feel powerful
My hope became my prison
An escape room I allowed to be created around me
I found myself trapped in its ever shifting walls
It would take time
It would take opportunity
It would take all the courage I had to leave
To choose me
And to not look back
I do deserve better
And reclaiming myself
Is where I start to create better
-gws
A Love Song for Myself
I will write a love song for myself
A song of hope
A song so free
A song of everything I want to be
I will write a love song for myself
A ballad of returning
A ballad of ascension
A ballad celebrating my redemption
I will write a love song for myself
A tune for forging forward paths
A tune for changing ways
A tune for the coming better days
I will write a love song for myself
A triumphant magnum opus
A symphony of surrender and release
A life-renewing masterpiece
-gws
You Deserve to Shine
Be the brightest star
In your own sky
You deserve to shine
-gws
You Are an Alchemist
Don’t let a broken heart break you
Don’t let cruelty shatter your dreams
A soul is a molten thing
Capable of mending
Reshaping
Visualize the shape you wish to be
And believe
You are an alchemist
-gws
I Want
I want to live in a cabin between the woods and the sea
I want to smell mossy earth and pine resin at daybreak
Wood smoke and salt air at sunset
I want to be surrounded by books and filtered sunlight
Candles, blank pages, and moonlight
I want to walk with hopes by day
And dance with dreams by night
I want to watch banana slugs explore my garden
I want to hear the chorus of crashing waves
Gulls crying exultantly from the sky
Wind playing chase through the cypress boughs
I want to be free of the chains of expectations
Free of the weight of the looming other shoe
I wish not to drink from any more bitter cups
Fall on any more swords
Remove twisted daggers from my back
I crave peace
Beauty
Lightness
Hope
Creativity
Freedom
I crave relationships that are mutually supportive
That nurture souls
That transact in honesty
Respectfulness
Genuineness
Ease
Love
-gws
Spring Rain
The first spring rain falls from a darkened sky
Washing away the heaviness from the air
Bringing deliverance of spirit
Offering itself as balm for my weary heart
Through its steady patter beyond my open window
Petrichor rising to ground me
Cool and damp air greeting too hot skin
I close my eyes
Imagining my complete surrender to it
Making an offering of all that scars me
All that weighs so heavily on my shoulders
I welcome this renewal
This forgiveness
This peace
I invite this healing
Surrender to this gentleness
Allow this act of cleansing
Readying my world to reawaken
Readying me to bloom again
-gws
The Rocky Path
I’m walking between worlds
Both in a nightmare
And waking from one
Navigating the rocky path
One footfall at a time
Calling on my ancestors
Those women who each
Did the same in their own way
As I step out of darkness
Into the healing light of freedom
-gws
Notes to Self
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity
Trust yourself
In the midst of chaos, find your calm
Embrace the unknown
Everyday is a second chance
Keep going
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 