Home will always be
My mother's arms
My children's laughter
And the love of friends
-gws
Home
Ritual of Returning and Release
I sit in my silver armor upon my golden throne
Light streams in through my temple's high windows
Painting the floor below my dais in deep lavender beams
The temple is quiet and familiar and mine
The doors to the chamber open and he enters
Shadows trailing from his shoulders
Like a cloak woven from smoke
He strides forward
Until he is stopped by the barrier of lavender light
We lock eyes with each other
He kneels upon the stones
A gesture of only minor supplication
For his eyes never leave mine
I close my eyes and breathe
I feel the gauntlets release from my wrists
The greaves from my legs
The chest plate and chain mail
The weight of them suddenly gone
I open my eyes and watch as the armor becomes dark smoke
Passing through the boundary
Returning to him
I do not need protection any longer
The silver collar releases from my throat
Then the silver circlet from my brow
And last the silver band upon my finger
The weight of him removed from me
Cleansed and returned to his keeping
My eyes return to his
Now he breathes deeply and black smoke flows from him
As it passes through the lavender boundary
The smoke becomes like liquid gold
A delicate gold filigree pendent alights above my heart
Glowing with a quietly fierce fire
I can feel a gentle thrum as it syncs with my pulse
Upon my head appears a grand and golden fiery crown
Radiating strength and power
Pulsing with each breath
Now restored, these symbols of my power blaze to life
Burning away every shadow in the temple
Returning the quiet fire to my eyes
His shadows retreat as does his gaze
He bows his head once
This ritual of returning and release ended
I watch as he rises, turns, and retreats
He disappears back through the temple's doors
They close silently behind him
Tethered together no longer
I sit in my power
Whole again and free
-gws
The Cell
The cell was sparse
Florescent lights
Sleeping platform
Stainless steel toilet and sink
But the walls
They were covered in other people's stories
The wall above the cot had been decorated in crayon
A large, pink pointe shoe
Someone's broken dream on display
Doodles and hash marks
A newspaper clipping of a local sports team's championship win
So many names so the walls would recall their existence
So the next inmates had connection to the ones who came before
I sat alone with their ghosts
Waiting for my turn to leave part of myself behind
-gws
There are Days I’m Not Ok
There are days I’m not ok
Or hours
Or minutes
Or breaths
The doubt suffocating
Grief a scream locked deep in my chest
I am reminded I am making the right choices
Shown proof of it again and again
Did you know the right things can
Sometimes feel so terribly wrong
Sometimes the fear rises
The paralyzing fear of all the ugliness
I so desperately seek freedom from
You never believe you’re conditioned
To feel you deserve abuse until you are
Until your stomach drops as the energy changes
And your breathing quickens
And you start calculating how bad their rage will be this time
Words bruise so much worse than fists
The self doubt stripping your confidence
The gaslighting destabilizing reality despite
Your inner voice calling out the lies in all of it
Knowing that there is no defense when you
Are forced to wear the badge of victimizer
Despite being the real victim
Because it makes them feel powerful and justified
Emotional abuse is a mind fuck of the worst degree
And some people make a career of the art of it
In this breath
This minute
This hour
This day
I am not ok
They say I will be someday
-gws
A Girl was Friends with God
There was a girl who was friends with God
The girl was told God was a man in white robes
But her God was a woman in a soft blue dress
Who let the girl sleep protected in her arms
Just the same as she held her own son
-gws
The Lost Lost Boy
Oh Peter!
You have lost a Lost Boy
He never made it to Neverland
He couldn't find the second star on the right
And he ended up in the Alleys of Midnight
Alone and scared
No one could hear him
No one would help him
Everyone he trusted let him down
Oh Peter!
As he grew up
(For the Alleys of Midnight
Forced everyone to grow up)
His spirit grew dark
His shadow dominant
He waited for rescue that never came
And his tears turned him bitter
And his bitterness bred a rage
That would quake the feather
In Captain Hook's hat
Oh Peter!
Can you help him?
Can you rescue him?
Can you take him to the forests
And play follow-the-leader games?
Can you show him how to
Think happy thoughts again?
Can you resurrect his inner child
By splashing in the Mermaid Lagoon?
Can you help him believe in hope again?
-gws
Always
We may not be a match in this life, but damn, does your soul see mine as if it always has.
-gws
I Want
I want to live in a cabin between the woods and the sea
I want to smell mossy earth and pine resin at daybreak
Wood smoke and salt air at sunset
I want to be surrounded by books and filtered sunlight
Candles, blank pages, and moonlight
I want to walk with hopes by day
And dance with dreams by night
I want to watch banana slugs explore my garden
I want to hear the chorus of crashing waves
Gulls crying exultantly from the sky
Wind playing chase through the cypress boughs
I want to be free of the chains of expectations
Free of the weight of the looming other shoe
I wish not to drink from any more bitter cups
Fall on any more swords
Remove twisted daggers from my back
I crave peace
Beauty
Lightness
Hope
Creativity
Freedom
I crave relationships that are mutually supportive
That nurture souls
That transact in honesty
Respectfulness
Genuineness
Ease
Love
-gws
Reflection
How do you never wonder
Why the mirror never
Reflects your own face
-gws
Little Men
My darlings
You became little men
The day we ran from the boogeyman
You met the task as an adventure
Not yet aware that the world you knew
Crumbled while you slept
I will bring you as much magic as you can hold
To keep your hearts moored in innocence
I cannot stitch your world whole again
I promise to weave you a new tapestry
Rich in dreams
Love
Possibility
My little men
You have learned too early
How unkind the world can be
But we will meet it
Softly
Gently
Together
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 