Do you earn medals for hurting me Because you treat it like an Olympic sport? Are my tears some cocktail that intoxicates your soul For I have cried oceans at your words and deeds? Is my pain the wood for your spiteful fire For it seems to always stoke your rage higher? When did the joy we shared turn to ash? When did that concentrated venom infuse into your words? When did you develop such resentment of me to turn your eyes to depth-less stone? -gws
If you were to leave right now I'd be just fine I already know how to survive without you You have provided me with years of practice -gws
You were never mine You were too transient to be considered mine Too non-committal But you attached yourself to me anyway You kept coming back to knock on my door And I kept letting you in You wouldn't let go of me Though you didn't really want me And I was too blind Trusting Hopeful to acknowledge the truth I knew in my bones That I'd never be enough for you Because you didn't know what enough felt like You were a bottomless pit of need that could not seem to be filled I kept pouring into you Until I was empty And it wasn't enough I always found ways of putting pennies in your cup While mine lay abandoned and empty at our feet Both of us left hungry and growling Snapping and swiping at each other Bloody Broken Damaged Miserable And for God knows what reason Still unable to let go I wished you had just let me go And that I let you -gws
Your soul is bruised by the poison you drink from your own veins. -gws
I don't get to run from pain It finds me It circles like a wolf pack around wounded prey I drop to my knees Paralyzed and desperate for breath Silent screams dying on my swollen lips Tear tracks on my cheeks like tattoos There's not enough rage to power a comeback I've always gotten back up But when is enough fight enough When do I get to catch a break Death by a thousand cuts is agony Maybe I just need to lay face down in the mud And let it drown me I'm too tired to take another hit -gws
That moment when you’re in freefall, just before you hit the ground to shatter apart into bitter shards of disappointment.
-gws
strength isn’t about being strong.
It’s about being vulnerable.
-gws
If wishes were grains of sand I'd own beach front property If hopes were shooting stars Every night would be the Perseids If dreams were glitter I'd be a drag queen on a Saturday night If fairy tales were real True love's kiss would have delivered me from my waking trials But I do not live at the beach Or sleep below a light-streaked sky I do not glitter on a stage And there is no magical happy ever after I, instead, walk moment to moment Doing my best to keep my feet I rub weariness from my eyes And sadness from my heart And despite myself, I continue to wish and hope and dream Because my dreamer's heart is more stubborn than my jaded mind -gws
I am a shorted circuit Blown out and useless Pushed beyond my capacity to function Unable to manifest an ounce of energy Burnt ozone the only proof That I blazed bright Before I met my limit And succumbed completely To my efforts to keep the lights on Forever numb -gws
"In the end, you cannot save what does not want to be saved."
"When the pain is greater than the fear, you will know what to do."
Every time your resentments flow like tidal waves
I drown in a truth that is brighter than the sun
You didn’t want this life
You didn’t want me
You thought by choosing me you were…
...making right on the injuries you inflicted
...picking the girl who would be steady and sure
...thumbing your nose at your conservative parents
...proving something to your sisters
...doing what was expected of you by your family and society
...doing what you expected of yourself
You might have loved me once
But you don’t know how to love yourself
And unless you can love yourself
You cannot love anyone else
And we all suffer
You
Me
The kids
In trying to manifest some imagined expectation you believe the world burdened you with
You have doomed us to a hollow, lonely existence
In the darkest moments, I sometimes wish you had never come back
After you walked away all those years ago
I sometimes think the man I fell in love with never returned
You went out for bread and just never came back
Only your demons returned wearing your face
Time has not been kind to us
Nor has it bred kindness in us
Though I think I really tried
But the steel in your eye and the edge in your voice
As you lay down my assigned crimes in a quiet growl
Eviscerates me over and over for
The crimes of a world that doesn't adhere to your desires
It hurts to love you
And I don’t know if I have it in me to continue to try
I am drinking sand in the desert for lack of water
And I am withering inside
So just admit that I am not what you wanted
I am what you thought you should have
A requirement on the test of Life
That allowed you to check the box of successful adulthood
"Hurt people, hurt people," I've heard it said
You are a drowning man who is blindly flailing
Endangering or scaring off those who might help
I accept your life's injury and pain
But I do not accept responsibility for it
And I cannot continue to endure your wrath to heal you
"In the end, you cannot save what does not want to be saved."
"When the pain is greater than the fear, you will know what to do."
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 