I sat in the flames as it all burned down
Trying to douse it with tears
But now I see things for what they are
And I step back to watch it burn
-gws
Burn
Category: Love
Notes to Self
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity
Trust yourself
In the midst of chaos, find your calm
Embrace the unknown
Everyday is a second chance
Keep going
-gws
Learn to Say Goodbye
I see the grief in your eyes
As the carefully crafted reality you made
Starts to fracture into a cascade of spiderwebs
The part of me that still loves you
Wants to comfort you
Tell you that everything will be ok
But I cannot do that
This disillusionment is necessary
And being trapped inside your bell jar
Has nearly ended me
I will not forge you a new one with false hope
That I am still your refuge
Because this all must end
You must face the world
On the other side of the looking glass
The real world where the damage you have wrought
Lays exposed before you
A cold world where you are finally alone
My heart breaks because it didn't need to be this
I wanted to love you
I tried to
But you didn't know how to accept love
And you didn't know how to give love
Because you don't know how to love yourself
You don't know what healthy love feels like
I feel the grief in my heart as I watch you
Watch your world unravel
I mourn for both of us
For the future that will never be
For the past so full of pain
For the love we both deserved but
That couldn't survive your demons
I did love you
I loved you so much, so hard
I forgot how to love myself
I grieve for all we are letting go of
I grieve along side you
As my hand slips from yours
And we learn to say goodbye
-gws
Dear Woman in the Mirror
Dear woman in the mirror
How are you today?
Did you sleep well?
I’d like to ask you to be my Valentine?
My Gal-entine?
My number one relationship
Will you dream with me of our happiness?
Will you help me manifest our joy?
I promise to shower you in compliments
To speak softly and gently to you
I will hold your wellbeing above all things
I know I haven’t always been your cheerleader
I have often been your worst critic
And I’m sorry for that
I’m learning how to treat you better
I’m learning how to better support you
To do more than acknowledge you have needs
I wish to meet those needs
I wish to show you the deepest kindness
I wish to reflect your incomparable worthiness
Because you are always worthy
No matter what others say or do to prove otherwise
Would you like a cup of tea?
How about a blanket and a good book?
Do you need a moment in the sun,
Or perhaps a nap buried beneath mounds of blankets?
You and me are the OG
We’ve got to take care of each other
Because no matter who comes and goes
We will always have each other
We’ve endured a lot together
I know you are so tired
I promise you that we will learn to move
From surviving to thriving
You and I
Let’s start today, my Valentine
By promising to say these three words
Every time we see each other
I love you
I love you
I love you
(I love me)
(I love me)
(I love me)
-gws
No Longer Invested
I am no longer invested
In getting you to love me
The way that I need to be loved
I am no longer invested
In your opinions of me
I am no longer invested
In trying to meet you in the middle
I am no longer invested
In twisting myself into broken shapes to please you
When my only reward is pain
I am no longer invested
Because I have divested you
Of your access to my serenity
-gws
Adjectives
On the night I was arrested
Our argument ended when
You called me a
"Fat. Lazy. Black. Bitch."
Our children heard you
I heard you
I couldn't believe you said it
But I heard you
The words hung in the air like poison
Choking the tears in my eyes
Choking the rage in my throat
Time stopped
Suspended by shock
Each painfully silent moment
Accompanied by the roaring blood
Rushing like a raging river in my ears
As I stood in the kitchen
Eyes wide and mouth open
Speechless
Everything suddenly clear
As I stared at you in utter disbelief
It was over
It had been over
And with that final insult
Those four ugly adjectives
It became unmistakably understood
I was done
-gws
Heroes and Villains
I am not the author of your story
As much as that saddens me to admit
You are the wordsmith of your tale
You write yourself as the hero of your own journey
Despite being so often the villain of mine
But understanding how you see your world
Understanding that you can be none other
Than the hero of your pages
Helps me gain perspective into why
You write me as the arch-villain of your narrative
There is no mirror in your story
You cannot see yourself
And as if bespelled
You see only monsters and
Enemies in every shadow
My pages would describe the cause
As a self-afflicted curse
Yours would imply the question
Are villains born or made?
For you would say you are
The result of what others made you
Be you hero or villain
You are forever alone
Shadowboxing every perceived threat
And drawing blood from everyone
Who gets too close for too long
Blinded by pain and unable to
See that the one causing
The most pain for you is you
Like a manifested destiny
It becomes so
As our books sit side by side on the shelf
Yours a story of never ending rage, war, and loss
Mine becomes a story of surrender, retreat, and release
For I am removing myself from your story
It is time to make myself the hero of my own
And write the closing of this chapter
For I can feel the peace and love I deserve
Waiting for me in the next chapters of my life
I am ready to transform my story
Into the self-love story I have long deserved
I hope you find your happy ending
I write a magic wish for that
Into my final paragraph
Of our chapter in my book
Then turn the page to my tabula rasa
Full of potential and possibilities
And the freedom to write my future
As rich and joyful as I can imagine it
-gws
Shooting Star
I arrived in this world
A shooting star
Trailing dreams
And magic in my wake
-gws
Daughter of Darkness and Fire
This is my season
The season Persephone returns to the underworld
To take up her night-sky crown
A season where darkness rules
And pomegranate seeds glisten
Like ruby drops of blood
Across a dark and mossy earth
A season where candlelight entwines with shadow
And long nights lay steeped in vivid dreaming
In this season I embrace my own darkness
Unafraid of the cold and the quiet
For this is where magic lives
Where the mythical and mystical thrive
Weaving spells amongst the silence
I remember my power just like Persephone
For this is a season where the resolute thrive
I submerge into my own deep waters
My dark reflection staring back at me
As I descend into my true self
Into the rejuvenation that exists
At the heart of midnight
I greet each version of myself
Forgiving myself for every unkindness
Every neglectful moment
In this stillness where I am
Safe and whole inside my power
For this is the season I return to self
Where I remember who I am
A daughter of darkness and fire
-gws
Say the Thing, Make it Awkward
Say the thing Make it awkward For we never know when the final fickle Fate Will wield her scissors and snip a thread from our tapestry Forever severing a connection An action that cannot be undone "I love you." "I miss you." "I care about you." "You are important to me." "My life is better with you in it." Whatever the thing is you feel SAY IT And let it go Knowing that you have released love In some version Into the life of someone you care for in some way We are fortunate to have our lives Woven with many threads But as gently as we are entangled together The severing and unraveling are inevitable Sharp and severe We will have loss But we do not have to have regret Say the thing Make it awkward Only Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos See the grand weaving of our lives How each chapter of our lives will unfold And how and when those varied chapters will end Within those pages we are gifted with the opportunity of choice To give and receive love with the others in our story Say the thing Make it awkward -gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 