Stranger

Trying to figure out
who this version of me is

She feels like a stranger,
but I think I might end up
liking her

-gws

Ruins

You burned every bridge
then burnt your home to ashes

Now you wonder why you stand
naked and alone in the ruins

-gws

Secret

Can you keep a secret?
Lean in close to hear
I see the wonder that you are
Whenever you draw near

You light up every room
You always seem to glow
Your spirit is so full of love
And everybody knows

You are a wonder to behold
A notch above the rest
Keep being your authentic self
You are the fucking best

-gws

Church of Poetry

I find god more easily in a room full of poets on a Thursday night than I ever did in a church full of the righteous on a Sunday morning

-gws

Everything

When you came into my life
You promised to be my everything
You destroyed everything instead
My hopes
My dreams
My confidence
My joy
My ability to love you
My ability to love me
So I made sure to take everything
When I left

-gws

Thoughts on the Autumnal Equinox 2024

This brief, beautiful 
Preview of delightful Autumn 
With her crisp chilled nights
And gray-sky mornings
Will be brutally interrupted 
By Summer strolling 
Back onto the stage
Despite having taken her bow
For a sweaty encore 
That nobody wanted

-gws

Lock That Door

When we leave a toxic relationship 
self-doubt and second guessing prevent us
From locking the door behind us

We wonder if we’ve made the right choice
We wonder if we’ve made a mistake 

If your freedom feels like liberation 
You have made the right choice 
For your long term wellbeing 

It’s time to lock that door

-gws

Bouquet

I would send you a bouquet 
Of newly sharpened pencils
If it would inspire you to
Write a different ending 
Draw a greener pasture 
Dream in color again 

-gws

Gaslighting

You refused to take responsibility 
So I accepted it instead
Until the day I found 
You in someone else’s bed

You didn’t do the right thing
You clutched your pearls and said,
“If only you had been the wife
You promised when we wed”

At first I shrank around the wound
Thinking you were right
Believing that it may be true
That I’d been a lousy wife

I thought of all the arguments 
That were constant in our life
The years of ugly, cutting blame
The insistence you were right

But then the rage came rushing in
You would gaslight me no more
I said that you were full of shit
And kicked you out the door

I realized I had done my part
In holding up my vow
It was you who failed on every front
I’d not be blamed right now

You made choices on your own
Now I have made some too
So hit the road, you selfish prick
Gaslighting days are through 

-gws

Tabula Rasa

My future is tabula rasa
Full of possibilities

Slow to emerge from the long shadows 
And still brushing off the cobwebs of shame, doubt, and fear
I begin to wonder what awaits me
Who awaits me

The question nauseates me
I'm not ready to open my heart
Nor do I expect to be ready any time soon
And yet I find myself wondering 
Will there be another 
My heart fearfully whispering,
"Will I get a second chance?"

I'm not ready to fall in love again
I am only longing for the magic of falling
The elation that comes from feeling seen
Feeling chosen
Because all I wanted for so long 
Was to feel chosen
To be enough

I am working to remember how to love me
How to be enough for myself
How to appreciate my perfect imperfections
How to forgive the choices I made to survive
I must become reacquainted with me

My future is tabula rasa
Full of possibilities
Bursting with opportunity to craft a life I want to live
And blessed with time to heal from a life I endured
I embrace my next chapter gratefully
Even as my knees quake with each step forward

My blank slate has its first word: freedom
Its second word: peace
I think that's a beautiful place for a new story to start

-gws