Practice deep curiosity Not just about me About EVERYTHING!
Be emotionally intelligent Especially about yourself
Dream Imagine
Never forget how to look at me Like I'm the North Star
Want me to write books of poetry about How you and me equals us
Dance with me to the rhythm of our heartbeats
Enjoy staying up into the quiet hours Discussing obscure and wonderful things
Willingly and gently hold space for me Be okay with being, and being with quiet company
Give and receive love in spontaneous small gestures
Own your imperfections gracefully Own your mistakes openly
Love me fiercely and without chains
Hunt for magic in the world Create magic in its absence
Play for the sake of it
Respect me in thought, word, and deed Honor me by dancing in the light of all my Shining diamond facets I'll do the same for you
Desire to embrace a prismatic life
Whatever is left undefined here Treat as an opportunity to dive deeper Learn more Know me better I am bottomless An endless landscape to explore
Be willing to be broken open I want to run my mind over every square inch of your soul Commit to memory the scars life has left on your heart So that I may know how to navigate your rough waters
I want to listen to the meanderings of your inner child
I want to know you in 360 degrees And three dimensions
Be brave enough to shine light into your shadows Unashamed because you understand How important healing oneself is
Be secure in my transparency
Be like stained glass Brilliantly and complexly designed Beautiful and translucent
Know that love is a lifetime conversation A dance that never ends Shifting and changing Gracefully synchronized
The prerequisites for loving me properly May sound unachievable But to the right person It will sound like a revelation
He was a brown-eyed boy Freckles on his cheeks He shared his gummy Coke bottles And always picked me to play at recess He was a little misunderstood But not by me I saw him as kindred He helped transform the gray playground Into space ships and fantastical landscapes It didn't matter I was an icky girl Or that he was a yucky boy He was comfortable with me And I with him My heart broke when he moved away I never meant to lose contact but we did We found each other for a minute Just after high school He sent me a letter and a picture A man's version of the freckled face I once knew Adorned in dress blues I think I responded too enthusiastically I never got another letter And my heart broke a second time I hope that wherever he is He is happy A brown-eyed boy With freckles on his cheeks Sharing gummy Coke bottles With someone he loves
When I met you You were charming But nowhere near perfect You were charismatic But endearingly flawed You were looking for a party But you accidentally found a home
When you met me I was unapologetically myself But I was naive I was willing to take risks But not necessarily with my heart I was looking for experiences But accidentally found connection
What I didn't know Was what a damaged soul looked like What I didn't know Was that you were a blackhole gobbling the light
What you didn't know Was I was a whole universe What you didn't know Was divine light cannot be devoured
We didn't begin as we ended We started as a soft glow Hopeful and carefree I couldn't tell you when I think the inferno began
I became the fuel that you would burn Trying to fill your infernal yearning The gaping emptiness inside of you With a meaningful light That once was me
I thought if I loved you enough I would somehow be enough To sate your appetite for more But all you were was an insatiable maw And I a blazing star Who's fire was never bright enough Who's light could never warm you up Because black holes cannot be quenched They can only demand - MORE
So I became a comet with a star at its core My corona full of survival and fury Breaking free of your event horizon I would not be devoured by your darkness
Now no light surrounds you You have consumed all else you had Nothing orbits you but cold and quiet The space around you dead
When you met me We had hope we could love each other well When I left you Was to heal from just how far I fell But I'm a girl with phoenix wings And a star within my heart I blaze a trail across the sky As I make a fresh new start
"Love is not enough" This was a truth I gave you In place of a kiss goodbye Love is not enough to bridge The chasm separating us Neither is it flexible enough To withstand the tension It cannot rewrite our history Erase the years of pain It cannot alter reality Nor save our unsalvageable marriage The love between us is a shadow A wraith A remnant Of a hope dressed up to look like love In third-hand threadbare finery The illusion shattered And the real state of things exposed
Thank you all for being my angels My bowling lane bumper guards My Jiminy Crickets My chorus of friends and family Who say the things I have had so much trouble saying to myself For constantly reminding me that the children and I Demand, command, and deserve To be held most valuable For reminding me that no matter how terrible I feel about what I am doing That there is a greater good that I must serve That of the wellbeing of my family of three growing souls and one old, weary one “I love you,” is hardly powerful enough “I’m grateful,” is impotent in its ability to deliver the depth Of what I feel for what you are doing for me and my children You have filled the many holes in me with light and love and patience and grace This journey hasn’t drowned me because you have pulled my head from beneath the water Gently reminding me to breathe until I can remember how to float again I know I wouldn’t be at this place Walking forward one painful step at a time without all of you Picking me up and cheering me on
“Remember you didn’t cause it. You couldn’t have prevented it. You have nothing to feel guilty for. It is okay to grieve. There is much to grieve, But do not confuse grief with guilt.”
I did not know how much I needed These words until they were spoken.
Hold me up when the weight of my world Causes my knees to buckle Sing truth to my inflamed mind When the noise of living trauma Drowns my ability to reason Gentle Patient Empathetic Sometimes sharp but never cruel My lighthouse in stormy waters My safety net when the trapeze breaks My light in the darkest and longest nights Voicing wisdom I need at the right time In the right way Through the right person Another conduit through which My Goddess speaks to me All of them a blessing I can never Craft adequate words to encompass So important and special Their glow is to my night sky
Everyone who has ever loved you Have put their hands up and Taken a step back Now they are looking at me Wondering if now is when I will finally do the same
Words Wishes and Wisdom 