I often wonder if I'm missing something
I keep seeming to make the same mistake
Unable to avoid the pothole I know is there
To avoid the nail that snags my sweaters
Every time I walk past
Always forgetting the indulgence that makes me ill
Perhaps these continuous tragedies are the result of
An education I have failed to get
Or failed to learn from
The ripping and tearing
The tripping and falling
The banging and bruising
All from things I know will cause me harm
Things I should know to avoid
And yet I cannot seem to hold the lessons
I cannot seem to employ the learning
And I wonder what is wrong with me
-gws
I think we are strangers
I want to love you, but I don't know who you are
Do you know?
It's hard to love someone you don't know
You don't seem to know who I am
Do you really want to?
We continue to dance in circles
But never to the same tune
All stomped on toes
And elbows to the ribs
Frustrated and blaming the other
Our sketches of the other
Horrific distortions
Each of us unrecognizable
In the images we hold up to each other
Like a horrible collaboration of Salvador Dali and Marc Chagall
We speak to each other in discordant tones
Two different conversations occurring in the same time and space
Cacophonous and dissonate
Everything lost in translation
-gws
You are a bad habit
Like nail biting or tobacco
Like loving the villain more than the hero
Like being addicted to pain
No matter how many times
I reshelve your story in the bookshop of my life
The familiar weight of it always ends up
Going home with me in my bag
Even though I know how the story ends
No matter how often I quit
No matter how much will power I employ
It's never enough to break the habit of you
And like the power inherent to so many bad habits
You may well be my undoing
-gws
"Disobedient children don't live half of their days."
I can hear your voice reciting this sentiment
Did you ever consider how scary that sounds to a child
I know it was meant to scare
But was it meant to scar
This turn of phrase left me so confused
So convinced that I’d never see adulthood
I know you meant no harm
You carried forward what you learned
Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep brought no comfort
For what does a child know of life and death
The memory of that oft said phrase
The memory of that terrible prayer
Still haunt my inner child
Rock-a-bye Baby always made me sad for the baby
Why was the baby on a treetop
A baby falling from a broken tree bough
Is hardly a comforting lullaby
I did not carry these things forward
I staunchly refused
I surrendered the nightmares of these things to the ether and to time
And celebrate every day that this disobedient child is still here
- gws
Do you earn medals for hurting me
Because you treat it like an Olympic sport?
Are my tears some cocktail that intoxicates your soul
For I have cried oceans at your words and deeds?
Is my pain the wood for your spiteful fire
For it seems to always stoke your rage higher?
When did the joy we shared turn to ash?
When did that concentrated venom infuse into your words?
When did you develop such resentment of me to turn your eyes to depth-less stone?
-gws
We are all cosmic energy
And dirt steeped in water
Given form and life
Through fire's spark
And air's breath
Walking an existence
Flanked by destiny on one side
Free will on the other
Exploring the Tree of Life's branches
Of infinite possibilities
In a quest of being
-gws
Where are the love song sentiments The reluctant partings The needful longings The passionate reunions The soul worshiping The celebration of every tiny quirk or trait The promises of lifetime comfort The celebrations of loving someone as they are For exactly who and what they are
The love songs lied and now all end in tears One day, who you are will not be who they want you to be And the same will be true as you look at them There will be no celebration And you will wonder if there ever really was I don't think there ever was
I think I was what was supposed to happen Chosen to be cast in a role because I showed up to the audition And no one else was qualified for the role I learned the lines and the choreography And it was good enough for a time But good enough only gets you by for a time
I thought I really earned the part That I embodied the role That compliments were sincere That the applause was genuine But the flowers stopped coming at the end of the show
The costumes no longer fit The auditorium is empty Or worse, filled with disappointment and resentment But I cannot remove the makeup No matter how hard I scrub And I cannot leave the stage Because the show must go on So I repeat the same steps on the worn floor The soulless smile failing to light my eyes Enduring until the music ends
With pen and ink
Paper and light
And a turn of phrase
I start to write
Of dreams and hopes
Of nightmares and fears
With strokes of ink
A poem appears
Like witch's spell
Or bard's pub song
From poet's heart
My words are drawn
To craft clever poems
Each word I must weave
Into a construction
A heart can believe
Whether magic or mischief
Love story or lie
I've just crafted a poem
And now bid goodbye
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 