Oh it's you I knew you might find me again one day Minding my business Unaware and defenseless I knew you might show up on my doorstep Inviting the resurrection of my long disused heart I thought we had an agreement An understanding, perhaps You see, I have no desire to let you settle here again The soil in which I am planted is not good for your roots You salted it well long ago Do you really not remember because I still do And yet here you are Bags in hand asking if you can stay a while Looking at me with familiar enticement Dressed up in pheromones and endorphins With all the charisma of a red carpet return I have not forgotten how fickle you are How you overstayed your welcome How you left me heartbroken I don't trust you You're too good at feeling good I forget too easily how you are besties with misery Stop looking at me with eyes that want to know me Stop looking at me with eyes that want Stop attempting to pull me into your gravity I do not trust I can break free again I don't want to have to break free again Don't you understand you are not safe for me Don't you understand I need to feel safe I do not trust myself in your presence I am scared, you see You see, I am scarred So very scared So very scarred The last time I let you stay Nearly dismantled me So no Do not leave one speck of dirt on my doormat I beg you to to forget where I live I do not want your false promises I do not want you to be seen by you Your attention has cost me too much And I'm still in debt for it
I am looking for the counterpoint to my melody A voice both hauntingly harmonic and intriguingly independent That when blended with mine creates a masterpiece
Love feels like Pandora's Box of contradicting experiences Love alights you upon a mountain top of elation And sequesters you in a dungeon of anxiety Love can feel like Elysian Fields And Dante's Inferno Love can make you feel like an accomplished genius And the village idiot Love gives your soul wings And your body two left feet Love makes poetry of your dreams And salad of your words Love inspires amazing highs And devastating lows Love is celebrated when it arrives And mourned when it departs Pleasure and pain separated by fate's coin toss A game of chance we cannot stop playing
My significant other Is more other than significant now I wish I felt better about this fact I do not miss the now of him I’m still in love with the then of him When love knocks you can never know The beauty or horror in its entourage You believe love can conquer all And learn that love is often not enough My significant other left A significant mark on me That is hardly insignificant
You have said a lifetime's worth of, "I love you" in the last ten months I remember that you rarely said it in the twenty-three years When I needed to hear it like my blood needed oxygen What am I to do with your, "I love you" now Now that I cannot love you anymore Oh! My heart still loves you Still wrings drops of hope from itself Hope hanging heavy from tear tracts To be wiped bitterly away Because there is no hope left Hope is just a tether Preventing me from moving on From acknowledging the truth that The third body is dead and has been for a long time Love's hope nearly destroyed me Consumed me My heart will not let me pry this foolish hope from her hands So instead, I have to lock it away In the dark, cold, empty cavity that is my chest Heart unable to comprehend that I do this for our own good It screams and howls in the echoing silence "One last chance!" "One more time!" "Maybe this time! Maybe! Just maybe!" "I love you" manifests no magic here "I love you" will not call forth a miracle for us I still love you, Too But I HAVE to love me, MORE
Practice deep curiosity Not just about me About EVERYTHING!
Be emotionally intelligent Especially about yourself
Dream Imagine
Never forget how to look at me Like I'm the North Star
Want me to write books of poetry about How you and me equals us
Dance with me to the rhythm of our heartbeats
Enjoy staying up into the quiet hours Discussing obscure and wonderful things
Willingly and gently hold space for me Be okay with being, and being with quiet company
Give and receive love in spontaneous small gestures
Own your imperfections gracefully Own your mistakes openly
Love me fiercely and without chains
Hunt for magic in the world Create magic in its absence
Play for the sake of it
Respect me in thought, word, and deed Honor me by dancing in the light of all my Shining diamond facets I'll do the same for you
Desire to embrace a prismatic life
Whatever is left undefined here Treat as an opportunity to dive deeper Learn more Know me better I am bottomless An endless landscape to explore
Be willing to be broken open I want to run my mind over every square inch of your soul Commit to memory the scars life has left on your heart So that I may know how to navigate your rough waters
I want to listen to the meanderings of your inner child
I want to know you in 360 degrees And three dimensions
Be brave enough to shine light into your shadows Unashamed because you understand How important healing oneself is
Be secure in my transparency
Be like stained glass Brilliantly and complexly designed Beautiful and translucent
Know that love is a lifetime conversation A dance that never ends Shifting and changing Gracefully synchronized
The prerequisites for loving me properly May sound unachievable But to the right person It will sound like a revelation
I fall in love multiple times a day I am wooed by the beauty of the waking sky The feel of hot water on my skin The rich deep smell of brewing coffee Enchanted with my children's laughter A stranger's smile as we pass on the street A friend's text message saying hello Captivated by the crescent moon in a starry sky A blazing sunset over a summer ocean The fog spilling into the valley over the coastal mountains There's so much to love if one chooses to look So much to be delighted by All it takes is a willingness to see the possibilities in the world
Thank you all for being my angels My bowling lane bumper guards My Jiminy Crickets My chorus of friends and family Who say the things I have had so much trouble saying to myself For constantly reminding me that the children and I Demand, command, and deserve To be held most valuable For reminding me that no matter how terrible I feel about what I am doing That there is a greater good that I must serve That of the wellbeing of my family of three growing souls and one old, weary one “I love you,” is hardly powerful enough “I’m grateful,” is impotent in its ability to deliver the depth Of what I feel for what you are doing for me and my children You have filled the many holes in me with light and love and patience and grace This journey hasn’t drowned me because you have pulled my head from beneath the water Gently reminding me to breathe until I can remember how to float again I know I wouldn’t be at this place Walking forward one painful step at a time without all of you Picking me up and cheering me on
Say the thing
Make it awkward
For we never know when the final fickle Fate
Will wield her scissors and snip a thread from our tapestry
Forever severing a connection
An action that cannot be undone
"I love you."
"I miss you."
"I care about you."
"You are important to me."
"My life is better with you in it."
Whatever the thing is you feel
SAY IT
And let it go
Knowing that you have released love
In some version
Into the life of someone you care for in some way
We are fortunate to have our lives
Woven with many threads
But as gently as we are entangled together
The severing and unraveling are inevitable
Sharp and severe
We will have loss
But we do not have to have regret
Say the thing
Make it awkward
Only Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos
See the grand weaving of our lives
How each chapter of our lives will unfold
And how and when those varied chapters will end
Within those pages we are gifted with the opportunity of choice
To give and receive love with the others in our story
Say the thing
Make it awkward
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 