
Your soul is bruised by the poison you drink from your own veins. -gws

Your soul is bruised by the poison you drink from your own veins. -gws

I don't get to run from pain It finds me It circles like a wolf pack around wounded prey I drop to my knees Paralyzed and desperate for breath Silent screams dying on my swollen lips Tear tracks on my cheeks like tattoos There's not enough rage to power a comeback I've always gotten back up But when is enough fight enough When do I get to catch a break Death by a thousand cuts is agony Maybe I just need to lay face down in the mud And let it drown me I'm too tired to take another hit -gws

These Hollywood nights are long
The city filled with thousands of souls
All of us together yet alone
The green and white neon outside my window burns intrusively bright
Adding to my restlessness in an unforgiving summer heat
I imagine this is what Hell feels like
All sweat, restlessness, longing, and need
The fan whirls and clicks in the corner of the room
Impotent in its efforts to bring relief
I stare at soot-stained walls remembering
You are mine and I am yours
Though we are neither
You haunt my dreams
The smell of you
The taste of you
The dancing electricity of your skin against mine
The spark of us igniting together
I submerge into the memory of us
Distracting myself from the oppression of a city that welcomes no one
I see your silhouette leaning over me when I close my eyes
I feel the softness of your lips and the heat of your breath
I shiver as goosebumps rise on my too hot skin
I can almost feel your hands on my body
And the ghost of your lust-heavy voice whispering in my ear
I let out an inaudible gasp as rivulets of sweat run races along my throat
Reminding me of your fingertips
Sirens suddenly erupt from the street
The walls now the stage for the dance of red and blue strobes
Reality returns with its harsh shadows and sharp light
Razor-edged voices rise up from the sidewalk
Flavoring the oppressive night with desperation and power struggles
I take a drag off my joint in an attempt to increase the space between me and the world
I hold the smoke in my lungs for as long as I can
Praying that when I release it that I can float away from this existence with it
Back to the place where you held me close in a cool, comforting illusion of love
-gws

That moment when you’re in freefall, just before you hit the ground to shatter apart into bitter shards of disappointment.
-gws

strength isn’t about being strong.
It’s about being vulnerable.
-gws

If wishes were grains of sand I'd own beach front property If hopes were shooting stars Every night would be the Perseids If dreams were glitter I'd be a drag queen on a Saturday night If fairy tales were real True love's kiss would have delivered me from my waking trials But I do not live at the beach Or sleep below a light-streaked sky I do not glitter on a stage And there is no magical happy ever after I, instead, walk moment to moment Doing my best to keep my feet I rub weariness from my eyes And sadness from my heart And despite myself, I continue to wish and hope and dream Because my dreamer's heart is more stubborn than my jaded mind -gws

Knowing how to navigate life while feeling overwhelmed is the hardest. Being in the "here and now," in the breath, with the heartbeat and the space between them is enough. This awareness creates a space where I can remember that I am safe and ok right now, and that knowledge keeps me calm and tethered in life's storms. -gws

I am a shorted circuit Blown out and useless Pushed beyond my capacity to function Unable to manifest an ounce of energy Burnt ozone the only proof That I blazed bright Before I met my limit And succumbed completely To my efforts to keep the lights on Forever numb -gws

How do I turn down the pain?
How do I stop the loop that repeatedly plays your violent words that pierced my soul?
How do we recover from the bomb you threw at our feet so you could feel…
Better?
Superior?
Right?
I bled out from the wounds you gave me.
I died in front of you, and you didn’t even notice.
Worse, you didn’t care.
I have returned as a ghost, broken and haunted by unfinished business.
You try to act as if you genuinely care, but your concern is just damage control for your guilt.
Your guilt will eventually fade, and your resentments will return.
But I am already gone.
-gws

The time has come to leave the stage The play is done And its run complete The houselights are up And the audience has departed Douse the footlights And extinguish the spot It's time to remove our costumes And our makeup As we are players no more And yet we linger upon the stage Yearning for one more act One more scene So that we can linger in an illusion Of happily endings - gws