These poems are a journey That began in the light of hope and love Then slowly meandered through increasing darkness They dare to expose the skeletons and demons Barely hidden behind my front door for too long The narration begins in the middle After darkness had well fallen And documents my struggle to breathe My desperate journey to find myself again
And for those who live with horrors who wear human faces If I found my way free I know you can too Let these poems serve as proof That though it is not easy Freedom can be won You can take your life back Write the story exactly as YOU wish it to be
Sometimes the dragon burns down the world As long as you’re standing No matter how wounded You can slay that dragon You ARE the hero of your story YOU get to say when the story is over YOU get to decide how the new book starts YOU get to do whatever the hell YOU want Take my story and forge it into your sword of courage SLAY
To any who my words reach In a time and place I will never see I hope the world is kind And if such things as kindness Still prove fleeting I charge you with performing Defiant acts of kindness That your efforts might fall Like seeds upon fallow fields And grow like wildflowers In the hearts of those you touch
Aspire to write a banned book Describe the human condition So thoroughly So honestly Others find if vulgar Tell a story so devastatingly true The pearl-clutchers swoon from their shock Real life Real experience Is not sanitary It is not "golly gee!" and "oh, my!" Real stories Real living Is dirt covered Blood stained Disturbing Realness is a dystopia covered in expletives and epithets Characters spitting fiery words like "FUCK!" "SHIT!" And "You God-damned, MOTHER FUCKER!" While thumbing their noses and erecting middle fingers In real stories the hero's journey is never facile It's not sanitized or resolved in three acts In real stories antagonists are Insidious Oppressive Outrageously powerful The game is rigged Injustice systemic The ruling class held aloft and apart Tucked safely into their delusion of their goodness and security Benefiting remorselessly from the oppression they enable In contrast the rest of society scraps and scrapes Dreaming of freedom unattainable Reveling in whatever joys afforded them Praying that they can meet the next hardship Survive the next day Provide a better future for their progeny I implore you to write a story that reflects hope in survival Pen a tale that may not have a happy ending Hold a mirror up to the world in which we live Let those who would look away See their villainy reflected back at them And let those who are not seen Be held glorious in the spotlight Because their existence matters I hope you write a disruptive book An honest book A book full of the truths of living in an unbalanced world I hope you see it move from the bestseller feature table To the dusty banned books shelf Then you will know you understood the assignment
Inside her dreaming, I see her Hurting Lost Grieving Bags beneath her eyes from haunted or missing sleep Furrowed brows from innumerable worries Her will shaken and unsure I know her well for she is me Me ensconced in endings and beginnings Me inelegantly navigating transition
The magic of dreaming grants me this opportunity I approach her My hair more silvered My face more textured My heart glowing warm with a joy for living That felt so unreachable then
"Hello," I say
She composes herself and silently greets me in return
"I hope you don't mind, you look like you could use a friend."
She inhales unsteadily and motions for me to sit We look out at the passing world Quiet for an indistinguishable amount of time
"It will not always feel this way," I say
I take her hand in mine She does not resist
"Do you remember when your children were babies?"
She nods slowly Eyes unfocused as she touches the memories
"Do you remember the nights that felt so long? The marathon of survival that was three babies under three?"
She nods again with a slight smile Alighting at the corner of her lips as she remembers
"It felt like forever until you one day realized You could sleep through the night. You could establish routines. You could start making time for yourself In bigger and bigger doses."
She exhales Her shoulders lowering a bit
"This journey is just like that one. Unpredictable and exhausting. Endless in the moment. Overwhelming."
She looks at her hand in mine and nods I wrap my other around our clasped hands
"This will not last forever. You will find your way off your knees As the weight of this slowly lifts from you. You will relinquish your worry. Your grief will fade to make room for joy. You will learn to trust yourself again. You will learn to trust others again. Do not get too lost in your sadness. Navigate moments of laughter and lightness Like stepping stones amongst the mud. Let them light up your eyes and relax your shoulders. Let them propel you through your days Until you are no longer keeping track of days. Just like those early times in motherhood You will awaken to find yourself on the other side. Changed. Renewed. Rebuilt. Ready to welcome joy and love and freedom willingly. The fog and pain will clear as passing storms do. This I can promise you."
She looks up into my face Eyes searching mine as I smile and squeeze her hand I watch as a tiny light returns to her tear-filled eyes
"How do you know?" she whispers
I pull her hand to my heart.
"Because I have seen you do it. I have witnessed you rise from these ashes. I know how powerful and radiant you will emerge."
As dreams do when truth is revealed The edges of this world begin to dissolve like chalk in rain The light of recognition begins to glow in her eyes As I release her hand and stand I step in amongst the other passersby of her dreamscape My message conveyed My job done A voice from her future left to linger in her dreaming Placing a north star in the sky of her darkest night
Wander down a country road Flowers in your hair Dance inside your living room Without a single care Wish upon a shooting star Or say a sacred prayer Live your life with pure delight Lay your true self bare
There is not right time No one will give you permission Reach for the dream Start learning something new Say the thing you want to say Grasp the chance It's better to try and nurse the bruises of defeat Than befriend the bitterness of regret for life
Tell your story Detail your plot twists Describe how you penned your own ending How you dreamt your next prolific chapter You are proof that dragons can be slain Villains can be outwitted That the condemned can become the hero Be the light that illuminates someone else’s Pages through your inspiration Show that soul their narrative can be altered Show that soul their misery can become triumph Because you have told them it can be done Because you have shown them it was done
Words Wishes and Wisdom 