Discomfort

I breathe and it is not enough
I pray for help for life is tough
I tire of carrying this broken trust
I wish to just feel safe again

My skin too tight, my mind too loud
I seek to avoid the merry crowd
I am now scared when I once was proud
I wish to just feel safe again

I fell asleep so full of hope
And woke within the hangman's rope
Fear wedged deep inside my throat
I wish to just feel safe again

Trust once lost is hard to earn
Apprehension in my belly churns
Quiet rage, set low, still burns
I wish to just feel safe again

Discomfort visits everyday
A mix of feelings eating away
The world no longer morally gray
I wish to just feel safe again

-gws

Unmade

I cannot be a human today
Let alone a woman
I am a raw exposed wound
Showered in salty
Reminders of the abuses 
We have already endured 
And I am unmade

-gws

Smoldering

I still hold the smallest flickering flame of hope
Smoldering painfully in my belly
I keep trying to stomp it out
Smother it
But it persists 
Despite the obvious futility of its existence
It will not listen to reason
Will not extinguish beneath showers of bitter tears
I must endure it
Ignore it
Until it gutters and dies on its own

-gws

My Story To Tell

Speaking one’s truth is an act 
Of rebellion
Of reclaiming 
Of liberation  
It is stepping into the light 
After living in the dark for too long
It is my story to tell
And I will tell it as part of my healing

-gws

Rotten

I am, now, trying to forgive myself for the choices I made while trying to survive
For staying long past the expiration date in a relationship that had long been toxic and rotten
I deserved bette

-gws

Ordinary October Day

On this ordinary October day
I did my part to change the world 
In a most extraordinary way
I voted
For who I hope will be
Our first woman president 
With proud ancestors at my back
My children’s future cast before me
I released my grain of sand into the glass
To do my small part to move us forward 
Towards a future the mothers preceding me
Could only hope to dream of
For their progeny

-gws

Broken Love

All of the anger
This hurt
This loss
This heartache 
Was once love

You handled it 
Roughly 
Carelessly 
Thoughtlessly 

You returned it to me
A broken toy
Remorseless
While crying insult
From my lack of gratitude 
At your “effort”

-gws

Dueling Truths

“My heart says, ‘I love him,’ and my mind tells me to keep running.”

This is the complex reality that no one can comprehend until they’ve been in it.  It tears at my own mind, and I struggle to split one instinct from the other.  To compartmentalize these dueling truths so I can continue to protect my peace.

-gws

When Hope Has Left Us

Oh, how the tears fall
In the darkest of night
When hope has left us
With the dying of the light

The grief and the shame
Consume all they might
When hope has left us
With the dying of the light

Hold on to my hand
Grasp on to it tight
When hope has left us
With the dying of the light

It is anguish that grips us
With its devastating blight
When hope has left us
With the dying of the light

Remember, when dawn comes
How we survived this rite
When hope had left us
With the dying of the light

-gws

Grief Is An Unwelcome Friend

Grief is an unwelcome friend
Yet she calls just the same
She sits down right beside me
As she gently speaks my name

She offers me her open hand
Even though I flinch away
Grief’s lived this scene so many times
She knows that she must stay

I beg and plead for her to go
I do not want her here
Yet Grief still sits right by my side
And whispers in my ear

She tells the story of love and loss
Of memories most dear
Until I finally understand
Why Grief is sitting here

Grief comes when something dear is lost
With a simple job to do
Her company is but the cost
Of loving something true

So turn her not away, good friends
Though welcome she’ll not be
Grief reminds us how we’ve loved
With the gift of memories

-gws