
I arrived in this world
A shooting star
Trailing dreams
And magic in my wake
-gws

I arrived in this world
A shooting star
Trailing dreams
And magic in my wake
-gws

Forty-eight orbits of the sun
Forty-eight birthdays celebrated
Some happy
Some not
This morning I turned my face
To golden, gossamer sunlight
Filtered through cool, blue fog
I was showered in love notes
Sung to and hugged by my children
My pockets may be empty
But my heart can't be much fuller
-gws

This is my season
The season Persephone returns to the underworld
To take up her night-sky crown
A season where darkness rules
And pomegranate seeds glisten
Like ruby drops of blood
Across a dark and mossy earth
A season where candlelight entwines with shadow
And long nights lay steeped in vivid dreaming
In this season I embrace my own darkness
Unafraid of the cold and the quiet
For this is where magic lives
Where the mythical and mystical thrive
Weaving spells amongst the silence
I remember my power just like Persephone
For this is a season where the resolute thrive
I submerge into my own deep waters
My dark reflection staring back at me
As I descend into my true self
Into the rejuvenation that exists
At the heart of midnight
I greet each version of myself
Forgiving myself for every unkindness
Every neglectful moment
In this stillness where I am
Safe and whole inside my power
For this is the season I return to self
Where I remember who I am
A daughter of darkness and fire
-gws

I have entered my season of truth
The veil of delusion
Illusion
Deliberate ignorance
Is being peeled away
It is not an ugly truth
I find below the surface
But a blinding
Shining truth
One that offers a promise
Of deliverance from a
Self-imposed bondage
And offers a path
To a beautiful new freedom
-gws

When vibrant joy sparks bitter tears It means that too many years Have been spent in emotional blight That no jubilation can put to right Like a cloud crossing the sun Or a dissonant chord rung When my heart swells and glows My nervous system knows That this joy will lead to grieving My chest begins its heaving Turning smiles into frowns As the cortisol lets down How long has this been so I will not pretend to know Like a candle smothered I unconsciously keep covered That which makes me take up space Before I can feel the grace Of real joy in my blood I dump it in the mud I avoid the disappointment Like a fly stuck in the ointment I abandon my true will When he sets on me that chill And so I am now trained That joy will end in pain I know that I must mend So the sun can shine again -gws

My voice has been captured Pinned like a butterfly in a shadowbox Stored away for safe keeping Some think it soothing and melodic Which amuses me since I find it awkward Muted by fear of judgment and indifference But no more I have removed the glass and pins And though it trembles It is free Free to become stronger To spread its wings and venture into other gardens Fragile and imperfect Brave and determined Flitting from ear to ear Pollinating minds with my perspectives Flying joyously free on the wind -gws

I hope that when I One day Write my memoir I have learned How to be happy -gws

I am from slave ships, cotton fields, and courthouse slave trades
I am from generations of strong women who fought to do more than simply survive
From an oldest, broken white son with a poet's heart and a love of rivers
I am from a youngest, determined black daughter who sacrificed so much for those she loves
I am from a loving grandmother who wore her traumas as bitterness
While she fixed fried chicken and collard greens with ease
I am from Saturday morning chores with the "golden oldies" playing
I am from love and struggle and sacrifice, the latter two I was rarely aware of
I am from church on Sundays to commune with a God I knew better than most in that place
And who wore a virgin mother's countenance
I am from morning and afternoon cartoon blocks
And Saturday mornings in front of the TV singing to School House Rock
I am from riding my bike for miles and for hours
I am from being too curvy to be a real dancer
While I danced my heart to joyful dust on every stage
I am from having so much to say but rarely feeling heard
I am from watching TV at the same time as a friend while on a phone attached to a wall
And playing chicken with who will hang up before a parent yelled at both of us to get off the phone
I am from acid washed jeans, baby doll tops, denim, velour, and asymmetrical collars and hems
Hammer pants, jelly shoes, banana clips, mismatched pairs of accessories, side ponytails
From French-cut leotards, stirrup pants, Lycra biker shorts, flavored lip gloss, and neon everything
I am from My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, Rainbow Bright, Cabbage Patch Kids, He-Man, and She-Ra
I am from Voltron, Robotech, GI Joe, Snorks, Smurfs, reruns of Loony Tunes, and Scooby-Doo
From Newton's Apple, Square One TV, 321 Contact, Not Another Science Show, and Read It
I am from Garbage Pail Kids, Magic: The Gathering, Pogs, and Beanie Babies
I am from "Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret?" and "The Dollhouse Murders"
From Choose Your Own Adventures, and Encyclopedia Brown
Christopher Pike, Diane Duane, collections of "true" ghost stories and tales of the strange
I am from Dallas, Dynasty, Rescue 911, and Unsolved Mysteries
Fantasy Island, The Cosby Show, and The Wonderful World of Disney
I am from "At the sound of the tone *chime sound* turn the page."
From hitting record on my tape deck hoping to catch my favorite song without a DJ's voice
I am from Fisher Price record players, dual tape decks, and dropping mix tapes for mix CDs
From VHS winning over beta-max and laser disc
From spending hours in mall bookstores, arcades, and food courts
I am from dreams and imaginings
Soap bubble fairy wishes and hours of made up worlds alone and with friends
From possibilities and plans
I am from "You will have more than I did."
And "You will want for little."
I am from a loving mother who never let me feel alone
I am from good friends who never made me feel like the weird kid I kinda was
I am from "You are as good, if not better, than EVERYONE else, and don't you forget it!"
And "You can do anything you put your mind to."
I am from a tapestry of experiences and influences
From a variety of adventures and explorations
I am from a life full of love and support and as much opportunity as could be afforded
And though not always easy or smooth
I am from the just-right mix that created the me you see
-gws

If I am too much Then let me be too much I am light and expansive And I will not be constrained By those who wish me to be small For like the wind I will not be caged -gws


My name is: Woman Daughter Wife Mother Teacher Student Warrior Healer Friend Foe Philosopher Dreamer Writer Lover Artist Seer Goddess Spirit Light Gladys -gws