The first time I saw a ghost
I was looking in a mirror
I didn't recognize
The eyes starting back at me
-gws
Ghost Story
Category: Grief
Bridges
Some bridges are better off burning
Leaving the past buried beneath ash and embers
Smoke drifting away from the devastation
Like fading memories
-gws
Magical Me
My heart screamed,
“What about my hopes and dreams?
The magical things
That make me, me?”
-gws
There are Days I’m Not Ok
There are days I’m not ok
Or hours
Or minutes
Or breaths
The doubt suffocating
Grief a scream locked deep in my chest
I am reminded I am making the right choices
Shown proof of it again and again
Did you know the right things can
Sometimes feel so terribly wrong
Sometimes the fear rises
The paralyzing fear of all the ugliness
I so desperately seek freedom from
You never believe you’re conditioned
To feel you deserve abuse until you are
Until your stomach drops as the energy changes
And your breathing quickens
And you start calculating how bad their rage will be this time
Words bruise so much worse than fists
The self doubt stripping your confidence
The gaslighting destabilizing reality despite
Your inner voice calling out the lies in all of it
Knowing that there is no defense when you
Are forced to wear the badge of victimizer
Despite being the real victim
Because it makes them feel powerful and justified
Emotional abuse is a mind fuck of the worst degree
And some people make a career of the art of it
In this breath
This minute
This hour
This day
I am not ok
They say I will be someday
-gws
The Lost Lost Boy
Oh Peter!
You have lost a Lost Boy
He never made it to Neverland
He couldn't find the second star on the right
And he ended up in the Alleys of Midnight
Alone and scared
No one could hear him
No one would help him
Everyone he trusted let him down
Oh Peter!
As he grew up
(For the Alleys of Midnight
Forced everyone to grow up)
His spirit grew dark
His shadow dominant
He waited for rescue that never came
And his tears turned him bitter
And his bitterness bred a rage
That would quake the feather
In Captain Hook's hat
Oh Peter!
Can you help him?
Can you rescue him?
Can you take him to the forests
And play follow-the-leader games?
Can you show him how to
Think happy thoughts again?
Can you resurrect his inner child
By splashing in the Mermaid Lagoon?
Can you help him believe in hope again?
-gws
Little Men
My darlings
You became little men
The day we ran from the boogeyman
You met the task as an adventure
Not yet aware that the world you knew
Crumbled while you slept
I will bring you as much magic as you can hold
To keep your hearts moored in innocence
I cannot stitch your world whole again
I promise to weave you a new tapestry
Rich in dreams
Love
Possibility
My little men
You have learned too early
How unkind the world can be
But we will meet it
Softly
Gently
Together
-gws
Love is Not Enough
"Love is not enough"
This was a truth I gave you
In place of a kiss goodbye
Love is not enough to bridge
The chasm separating us
Neither is it flexible enough
To withstand the tension
It cannot rewrite our history
Erase the years of pain
It cannot alter reality
Nor save our unsalvageable marriage
The love between us is a shadow
A wraith
A remnant
Of a hope dressed up to look like love
In third-hand threadbare finery
The illusion shattered
And the real state of things exposed
-gws
Unlearn
I need to unlearn your touch
The sound of your breathing
Next to me in the dark
I need to unlearn a lifetime
Of everything about you
-gws
This is the Poem I’ll Never Write
Holding hands in matching rockers
Laughing about when we were young
You reminiscing about record stores and ska shows
As I tell our grandchildren tales of magic
Spending our sunset days in loving conversations
Each other's best bestie
Strolling into the ever after that follows the happily
-gws
The Cage
Inelegant and rough hewn
Invisible to all but me
Oppressive and injurious
This prison of grief and fear
Holds me fast
Arrested
The key to joy held tight in my hand
I wait for the guard to look away
So I can fly free
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 