The Illusion of “We”

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"We get paid on Friday"
"I" get paid on Friday
I don't see anyone else's name on my time card

"We just need to work together"
You mean "I" just need to do all the cooking, cleaning, and caregiving

"We are in this together"
Then why do "I" feel like I'm doing "this" alone

"We keep doing the same things over and over"
"I" can only rewrite my part of the music
I cannot help if you choose to keep dancing the same steps

-gws

Adjectives

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On the night I was arrested
Our argument ended when
You called me a
"Fat. Lazy. Black. Bitch."
Our children heard you
I heard you
I couldn't believe you said it
But I heard you
The words hung in the air like poison
Choking the tears in my eyes
Choking the rage in my throat
Time stopped
Suspended by shock
Each painfully silent moment
Accompanied by the roaring blood
Rushing like a raging river in my ears
As I stood in the kitchen
Eyes wide and mouth open
Speechless
Everything suddenly clear
As I stared at you in utter disbelief
It was over
It had been over
And with that final insult
Those four ugly adjectives
It became unmistakably understood
I was done

-gws

Unsafe

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Your aggravated aggressive agitations
Make alarm bells clang in my body
Danger!
Danger!
Hide!
As my stomach churns
And my blood pressure rises
I'm exhausted from near-constant hypervigilance
You may not be angry at me
I may not be the cause
But I'm in the blast radius
I'm in the radiation zone
Perfect collateral damage
Victim of your salted earth strategy
Or perhaps your target practice
I am not your Linus blanket
I am not your heavy bag
But you would have me be those things
Often in rapid succession
Leaving my nerves discordantly vibrating beneath my skin

-gws

The Last Hunt

A very short story

@wordswishesandwisdom

Wrote this one page sjort story for work activity challenge. I has to be extra and create a video for it. #wordswishesandwisdom #writer #creativewriting #shortstory #environmentaldystopia #surpriseending

♬ original sound – GWS

It was a harrowing time for my kind.  All we were trying to do was provide food and shelter for our offspring.  We would hunt at night.  Afraid of the light.  Afraid of being seen.  Afraid of the death that was sure to come if we were caught.  We learned to be fast, but once you were caught, being fast was often not enough. 

Our enemy was merciless.  They were far fewer in number, but they had superior weaponry.  They knew how to set traps for us, and worst of all, they employed the use of chemical agents.  A brutal chemical assault devastated our community.  It was an all-out extermination.  Only those of us with the most protected hiding places survived.  My ancestors were some of the lucky few. 

Generations were devastated.  Food supplies were unreliable as the chemicals contaminated nearly everything we had.  We didn’t know what was safe and what wasn’t, and there were many times we had to take our chances and await the results.  The truly desperate were often unwitting sacrifices as they ate what they could without concern for the result, figuring that they would die one way of the other so a chance to live until tomorrow was worth the risk of dying today.  The days and nights were never void of the screams of the dying.

The time came for me to have my own offspring.  Many of my brood were felled by the environmental toxins our enemies spread across the landscape like mines.  The stores my ancestors left were exhausted and I could avoid going to hunt no longer.  My remaining offspring needed to be fed.  I needed to feed. 

I waited until the darkest hours.  The enemy’s camp was silent and still.  There was no better time to take the chance at hunting.  I stayed low to the ground and close to cover.  I needed to know I could retreat to cover.  As I explored the edge of our encampment, I saw a miracle.  It was a white canopy of some kind that ranged from the encampment’s edge out into the badlands.  We tried to avoid the badlands at all costs.  It was too vast and too exposed to risk at any time.  Cover meant survival. 

I set forth to explore this structure.  There was no lore about such a thing.  Perhaps it was new.  Perhaps more recent generations didn’t have a chance to share this discovery because of the war.  Fewer and fewer returned from hunting these days.  I saw another of my kind, younger and bolder than I.  I watch this cousin move beneath and within this construct.  After a considerable amount of time observing, I decided that the risk was minimal and approached the structure with hopes of a swift, rewarding hunt and swift retreat. 

Almost as soon as I had entered the foreign space, blinding light flared.  I froze as did the other of my kind.  The structure disoriented me.  I didn’t know which way safety lay in.  I could only hold still and hope that the Great Dark would save me.  Suddenly, the construct rose up.  My kin and I scattered.  Terror blinded me as much as the light did.  All I could do was run in a chaotic pattern as fast as I could.  Where was home?  Where was the dark?  Something splashed onto my back.  It smelled of lemongrass, and immediately struck terror into my being.  This is what some of our dying smelled like.   I was having more difficulty making my body move where I wanted it to go.  More fluid splashed down on me.  My kin had already fallen on her back, the death throws underway.  If I could only find the dark.  I knew I didn’t have much time left, but at least I could die in my beautiful dark.  I fell onto my back.  I knew there was nothing else for me then.  I would not be getting back up.  And no one would know my story.

-gws

Please Forgive My Silence

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Please forgive my silence
It is not easy to converse
When I don't have much to say
Not for want of company
But for lack of breath to speak
I have been gasping lately
In pain
In tears
In prayer
Gasping for air in a chest too tight
On days when getting up takes
All my might
All my fight
Please forgive my silence
My burdens are so much to bare
I hold myself too tightly wound
For fear of shaking into pieces
And if I set my voice free
I worry what will become of me

-gws

Between Waking and Dreaming

Do not pull me from this place too soon
This place between waking and dreaming
You see
The moon is singing
A song meant only for me
She sings of hope and wonder
I must stay here and hear her
Just a while longer
Embraced by her soft silver light
Her welcoming night
Full of mystery
Legacy
Lunacy
Soon she will set the stars to ringing
A cacophonous celestial pealing
Then I know our evening
Is at its ending
That soon I must be leaving
This glorious realm
Between waking and dreaming
Where I dance with the singing moon
Please
Do not wake me too soon

-gws

Another California Christmas

Another California Christmas 
Is coming round again
And I find myself daydreaming
Of family and friends

The caroling and Christmas cards
Gifts amusing and sublime
Remembering the best of years
The best of Christmas time

No smoke this year to choke us up
Just filtered sun and chill
Lights and sounds and decor sit
Upon each window sill

A melancholy in my heart
I long for times of old
When life was not so stupid hard
When wrapped in silver and gold

Wherever this Christmas sentiment
Finds you this time of year
Crack open that bottle of Napa red
For some extra California cheer

Despite my humbug mood this year
I raise my glass above
I toast you sunshine dreams of joy
And immeasurable love

-gws

This poem appears in the 2024 edition of the Bards West Anthology.

The Best Kind of Foreplay

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Sit with me
Speak to me of
Philosophy
Art
Spirituality
Poetry
Sexuality

Share with me the
Beauty of your experience
The intricacies of your dreams
Tell me how lemons taste to you
Describe to me the complexity of scent and flavor
Of your whiskey
Invite my deepest curiosities
My darkest dreams and desires
To sit at your table
As you dine upon every thought
Savoring each exchange
Like a finely crafted meal
And I will do the same

Join me in unguarded honesty
Lose yourself in focused curiosity
Paint my soul with meaningful words
Excite me by challenging my beliefs
Without burning them in shame
Or drowning them in judgement

Stay here with me
Suspended in the silken web
We have woven between
Infinite synchronized heartbeats
We have crafted a spell from
Two souls orbiting each other
Do not let it end
Until the sun greets the world anew

Watch my lips as I speak
With your eyes burning with hunger
I will meet you on that threshold
Captivated by your mouth
As you share your inner self
In a verbal strip tease
I drop the last of my pretense
At your feet and wonder if you noticed
Now the little distance between us feels too far
I am all too aware of my body's pull toward yours
It feels inevitable and I know you feel it too
The spark of radiant connection that captures us

Words slow then stop
Only body language remains
Plump lips
Flushed skin
Fluttering lashes
Subtle smiles
Unbreakable eye contact
Goosebumps
And all from a conversation
The best kind of foreplay

-gws