Inelegant and rough hewn
Invisible to all but me
Oppressive and injurious
This prison of grief and fear
Holds me fast
Arrested
The key to joy held tight in my hand
I wait for the guard to look away
So I can fly free
-gws
The Cage
Author: Words Wishes and Wisdom
I'm a NorCal mom working tech, raising young children, navigating marriage and divorce, life, work, and the emotions around it all. This blog grew out of my IG account where I share poetry, prose, and other posts that I hope speak to the soul. This blog primarily features my poetic musings and other writing. I hope you find something that speaks to you while you're here.
How to Eat a Rainbow
Glittering seeds that sparkle in winter
Much like a geode cracked open
Textured spheres like palm-sized suns
Perfume the grove with citrus tang
Oblong bunches entice with
promises of creamy, tropical sweetness
Tart, crisp heralds of autumn
Ready to move from bushel to Thanksgiving pie
Baskets of chewable night-sky pearls
Fresh from bush to muffin tin
Plump globes hang heavy on the vine in the tea-colored afternoon sun
Destined for bottle, jar, or a snack popped between a lover’s lips
-gws
Liminal State
I exist in a liminal state
A being
And not a being
Grief ebbs and flows in king tides
Emptying me
Submerging me
Stealing away my breath
With its pressure changes
Feelings grow in question marks
Within my hollow chest
Proliferating like fungus in the fall
Inside of my being that is not a being
Emptiness overflowing with nothingness
Destruction and restoration
Warring to fill the immeasurable void
Shaped like my cremated heart
Pulsing with unfathomable aching
Testing the tolerances of
My being that is not a being
It is surreal to be and not be
To experience the reality of the question
Posed by Master Shakespeare
In rhyme and sonnet so long ago
To understand that one can be both
A being and not a being
-gws
Spring Rain
The first spring rain falls from a darkened sky
Washing away the heaviness from the air
Bringing deliverance of spirit
Offering itself as balm for my weary heart
Through its steady patter beyond my open window
Petrichor rising to ground me
Cool and damp air greeting too hot skin
I close my eyes
Imagining my complete surrender to it
Making an offering of all that scars me
All that weighs so heavily on my shoulders
I welcome this renewal
This forgiveness
This peace
I invite this healing
Surrender to this gentleness
Allow this act of cleansing
Readying my world to reawaken
Readying me to bloom again
-gws
Redemption
Sometimes
The simple act of cleaning a toilet
Can feel like redemption
-gws
A Love Letter for Those Who Love Me
Thank you all for being my angels
My bowling lane bumper guards
My Jiminy Crickets
My chorus of friends and family
Who say the things I have had so much trouble saying to myself
For constantly reminding me that the children and I
Demand, command, and deserve
To be held most valuable
For reminding me that no matter how terrible I feel about what I am doing
That there is a greater good that I must serve
That of the wellbeing of my family of three growing souls and one old, weary one
“I love you,” is hardly powerful enough
“I’m grateful,” is impotent in its ability to deliver the depth
Of what I feel for what you are doing for me and my children
You have filled the many holes in me with light and love and patience and grace
This journey hasn’t drowned me because you have pulled my head from beneath the water
Gently reminding me to breathe until I can remember how to float again
I know I wouldn’t be at this place
Walking forward one painful step at a time without all of you
Picking me up and cheering me on
-gws
Do Not Confuse Grief With Guilt
A friend said to me,
“Remember you didn’t cause it.
You couldn’t have prevented it.
You have nothing to feel guilty for.
It is okay to grieve.
There is much to grieve,
But do not confuse grief with guilt.”
I did not know how much I needed
These words until they were spoken.
-gws
Friends…
Friends...
Hold me up when the weight of my world
Causes my knees to buckle
Sing truth to my inflamed mind
When the noise of living trauma
Drowns my ability to reason
Gentle
Patient
Empathetic
Sometimes sharp but never cruel
My lighthouse in stormy waters
My safety net when the trapeze breaks
My light in the darkest and longest nights
Voicing wisdom I need at the right time
In the right way
Through the right person
Another conduit through which
My Goddess speaks to me
All of them a blessing I can never
Craft adequate words to encompass
So important and special
Their glow is to my night sky
-gws
If Not Me
I may appear whole
What you cannot see
Are the burns on my feet
From walking miles through fire
The stars in my eyes
From taking too many hits
The lacerations on my skin
From navigating uncountable shards of glass
The weariness deep in my bones
From rising everyday to overcome
Some challenge or trial
Again
And again
I have dodged and weaved
Punched and parried my way
Through days I never could have predicted
I have shown up when all I desired
Was to lay down and give up
Because if not me, then who
Mothers have to dig deep
We have to find that reservoir of power labeled
Do it for the children
So I push
So I push
So I push
Through the deepest, coldest waters
The fiercest, raging fires
The longest, darkest nights because
If not me, then who
For them
-gws
Step Back
Everyone who has ever loved you
Have put their hands up and
Taken a step back
Now they are looking at me
Wondering if now is when
I will finally do the same
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 