I see the grief in your eyes As the carefully crafted reality you made Starts to fracture into a cascade of spiderwebs The part of me that still loves you Wants to comfort you Tell you that everything will be ok But I cannot do that This disillusionment is necessary And being trapped inside your bell jar Has nearly ended me I will not forge you a new one with false hope That I am still your refuge Because this all must end You must face the world On the other side of the looking glass The real world where the damage you have wrought Lays exposed before you A cold world where you are finally alone My heart breaks because it didn't need to be this I wanted to love you I tried to But you didn't know how to accept love And you didn't know how to give love Because you don't know how to love yourself You don't know what healthy love feels like I feel the grief in my heart as I watch you Watch your world unravel I mourn for both of us For the future that will never be For the past so full of pain For the love we both deserved but That couldn't survive your demons I did love you I loved you so much, so hard I forgot how to love myself I grieve for all we are letting go of I grieve along side you As my hand slips from yours And we learn to say goodbye
Tell no one your deepest dreams Those valuable things That manifest in the heart's nebula The burning factory of creation Tucked securely in your soul They are precious treasures Composed of ether and moonlight Not fit for just anyone's consumption
'Twas a week before midterm, when all through the house One student was cramming - Eek Gods! There's a mouse!! Relief! Not a mouse Just my eyes playing tricks Now, I guess I can put down this giant beef stick "Why do you hold a beef stick?" you ask It's fuel for my brain while I'm cramming for class Drat! I have drifted from the tale to be told I blame the coffee I think it's grown mold
Now nestle yourself down for a time I'll put on fresh coffee and tell you a rhyme I'll tell you a tale of a student you've got... No more digression! Now back to the plot!
So yes, she was cramming I started to say So that by her efforts she'd earn her an "A" An "A"! Yes, I said it Do not be surprised This tale was created by one who's quite wise An "A" is impressive A well worthy grade But what had she done that she an "A" made? A very good question, my pondering friend But settle yourself and don't jump to the end Now confidence often eluded her grasp Writing, however, was her favorite task
Poetry, prose, and free verse pleased her best Then writing on topics of interest next The projects that tore at her brain in the night Were things she found boring or just did not like But wordsmith, she was, and was up to the challenge To muster her will and from her head scavenge The words and ideas, and like clay in her hands Shape them and mold them to topic and plans With thesaurus and dictionary at her side On her word crafting skills, she did hang her pride
So with effort and skill - and talent there, too She crafted her papers 'til ready to view With knots in her stomach that came with the trade She waited for feedback But mostly her grade The feedback she loved since it helped or assured But although it helped it lacked the allure That a high ranking paper - yes! Better than the last Served as her marker to push her through class
Neither science nor math held place in her heart The crafting of language was her favorite art Like brush strokes on canvas With her words she could paint An ominous sky or a barren landscape The sorrowful wilting of summer's last leaf Or the rising sun blanching the sand with its heat An insignificant sliver of silver moonlight That with its dull beam, still pierces the night This was her art, her joy, and her passion She only needed a pen to take action
And so she does cram her mind with the best That literature's scholars hold close to their breast Taking examples from word choice and plot She studies the masters with every thought She hopes that one day she, too, might be read In a book by some students, long after she's dead
And now to the end of my tale, I have come A few more smart lines, and then I am done An "A" she did earn, and now you see why This student was good, I will not belie She was not perfect Of course not! No way! But if she keeps writing Perhaps so one day
So home with yourself now, it's late and I'm tired The page, now, will wait 'til I'm next inspired There is one last wish as I show you out To Teacher from the student that this is about Happy grading to you, as red pens take their flight And to you I do wish a very good write!
What is this nightmare? Acne Joint pain Mood swings Hot flashes Night sweats Insomnia It's a good thing that men do not experience The joys of menopause I'm pretty sure that we would have Destroyed ourselves long ago if they did Because this experience is madness It's like the upgrade to puberty no one wanted I HAVE SO MUCH RAGE This has to be the reason women stop Putting up with intolerable things during midlife Because I'm ready to take a machete to all of the bullshit I have zero patience for anything When my hormones tumble out of wack All stupidity enrages me And so many things are branded with A blinking neon sign that reads STUPIDEST THING EVER DO NOT TOLERATE Now don't get it twisted, gentle listeners There are no excuses planted here Do not dismiss my disgruntled reactions As merely hormonal storm surges These hormones are the reason I can see The bullshit so clearly They are the reason I will not abide the bullshit One second longer
As I once let go of the Maiden's mantel to take up the Mother's mantel I now start letting go of my Mother's mantel To assume the mantel of the Crone Her knowing look Her sharp witted smirk She has seen it and rejected it all She understands that societal norms The expectations that sit like weights Upon her back are not hers to carry She understands that she is a force She stops caring what others think of her And starts caring about what she thinks of herself I feel these changes calling to my core Calling the taproot of my soul to descend Into the tides ruled by my will and Grace's wisdom Tides that my ancestors waded in And tapped into before me The wise women The grandmothers The healers and midwives The matriarchs I am about to inherit their legacy
But first I must walk this gauntlet called menopause This thrill ride is only just beginning And I already want off If you meet me and see a feral glint in my eye Or sweat on my brow Know it's best to just walk on by My grasp on my self-control Is not a secure one I run on resentments and judgment Not tightly moored to my higher self This base self more worldly Guiding me through this transition Steeped in ragged ugly truth So that when I emerge My crown of silver Is earned
Dear woman in the mirror How are you today? Did you sleep well? I’d like to ask you to be my Valentine? My Gal-entine? My number one relationship Will you dream with me of our happiness? Will you help me manifest our joy? I promise to shower you in compliments To speak softly and gently to you I will hold your wellbeing above all things I know I haven’t always been your cheerleader I have often been your worst critic And I’m sorry for that I’m learning how to treat you better I’m learning how to better support you To do more than acknowledge you have needs I wish to meet those needs I wish to show you the deepest kindness I wish to reflect your incomparable worthiness Because you are always worthy No matter what others say or do to prove otherwise
Would you like a cup of tea? How about a blanket and a good book? Do you need a moment in the sun, Or perhaps a nap buried beneath mounds of blankets?
You and me are the OG We’ve got to take care of each other Because no matter who comes and goes We will always have each other We’ve endured a lot together I know you are so tired I promise you that we will learn to move From surviving to thriving You and I
Let’s start today, my Valentine By promising to say these three words Every time we see each other
I'm not a morning person But I love the Maxfield Parrish skies of dawn Pink and purple watercolor brush strokes Across a robin's egg blue sky Golden light gilding every cloud in radiant luminescence Pastel magic painted across the heavens Suspending breath through awe Arresting the rush and rattle of morning routines With the beauty of nature's majesty I will gladly pour a cup of coffee in the wee hours If I get to enjoy a front row seat for such an art show
I've told you a thousand times I hate your demands of my body You've shown me a thousand and one times you don't give a shit I've swallowed a thousand silent screams of frustration I've cried a thousand silent tears of rage I've counted a thousand agonizing seconds waiting For the understanding to etch across your face That OUR relationship is more than just YOUR needs But it never manifests A thousand and one times this exchange plays out Like ghosts caught in the temporal fly paper of their last moments I can't even pretend I'm okay anymore I will not arrange my face into a mask of acceptance I will, instead, blank my face and retreat into my mind Counting a thousand heartbeats enduring the unwanted attention Disguised as affection that is really an affliction upon my person One would think that a girl who looks like me should be grateful That a boy who looks like you is so obsessed with a body like mine I will admit that some part of me is flattered That my thousand fat cells bear your label: SEXY But when the package is more valued than the contents It feels like a thousand Christmases where the kids Like the boxes better than the presents I agonized over choosing I have identified a thousand random shapes in the ceiling paint I have taken a thousand calming breaths While screaming a thousand times in my mind STOP TOUCHING ME It is a thousand moments of madness When I want a thousand and one moments Seeking my enthusiastic consent Instead I endure a thousand days Until the thousand is down to one
Words Wishes and Wisdom 