Disobedient Children

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"Disobedient children don't live half of their days."
I can hear your voice reciting this sentiment 
Did you ever consider how scary that sounds to a child
I know it was meant to scare 
But was it meant to scar
This turn of phrase left me so confused 
So convinced that I’d never see adulthood 
I know you meant no harm
You carried forward what you learned

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep brought no comfort 
For what does a child know of life and death
The memory of that oft said phrase
The memory of that terrible prayer
Still haunt my inner child

Rock-a-bye Baby always made me sad for the baby
Why was the baby on a treetop
A baby falling from a broken tree bough 
Is hardly a comforting lullaby

I did not carry these things forward
I staunchly refused
I surrendered the nightmares of these things to the ether and to time
And celebrate every day that this disobedient child is still here

- gws

Trophies

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Do you earn medals for hurting me
Because you treat it like an Olympic sport?
Are my tears some cocktail that intoxicates your soul
For I have cried oceans at your words and deeds?
Is my pain the wood for your spiteful fire
For it seems to always stoke your rage higher?
When did the joy we shared turn to ash?
When did that concentrated venom infuse into your words?
When did you develop such resentment of me to turn your eyes to depth-less stone?

-gws

Is the Play the Thing?

Where are the love song sentiments
The reluctant partings
The needful longings
The passionate reunions
The soul worshiping
The celebration of every tiny quirk or trait
The promises of lifetime comfort
The celebrations of loving someone as they are
For exactly who and what they are

The love songs lied and now all end in tears
One day, who you are will not be who they want you to be
And the same will be true as you look at them
There will be no celebration
And you will wonder if there ever really was
I don't think there ever was

I think I was what was supposed to happen
Chosen to be cast in a role because I showed up to the audition
And no one else was qualified for the role
I learned the lines and the choreography
And it was good enough for a time
But good enough only gets you by for a time

I thought I really earned the part
That I embodied the role
That compliments were sincere
That the applause was genuine
But the flowers stopped coming at the end of the show

The costumes no longer fit
The auditorium is empty
Or worse, filled with disappointment and resentment
But I cannot remove the makeup
No matter how hard I scrub
And I cannot leave the stage
Because the show must go on
So I repeat the same steps on the worn floor
The soulless smile failing to light my eyes
Enduring until the music ends

-gws

Crafting a Poem

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With pen and ink
Paper and light
And a turn of phrase
I start to write

Of dreams and hopes
Of nightmares and fears
With strokes of ink
A poem appears

Like witch's spell
Or bard's pub song
From poet's heart
My words are drawn

To craft clever poems
Each word I must weave
Into a construction
A heart can believe

Whether magic or mischief
Love story or lie
I've just crafted a poem
And now bid goodbye

-gws


Rabbit Holes of Rumination

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You treat me like a beautiful mind
Asking my opinions
Exploring ideas
You invite me to engage in discordant conversation
And uncomfortable curiosity
You bid me to think deeply
To test the boundaries of my beliefs
You ask me to pull you down rabbit holes of rumination
Neither of us sure where we will be lead
Yet both of us excited for the journey
We discuss, debate, and discover
We challenge, and question, and deadlock
Always honest and vulnerable
Open, curious, and safe
Exchanging thoughts and perspectives
With the utmost love and respect
And I thank you for every luminous minute

-gws

Nourished

When my roots are nourished
The fire at my core ignites
The light returns to my eyes
As my soul flares bright with renewal
Colors become more vivid
Flavors more complex
My pupils dilate
The world is exciting again
Enticing again

When my roots are nourished
My mind becomes expansive
Filled with possibilities, curiosities, and wonderment
My blood sings universal mysteries into my ears
As I become wholly seated in my body
So that I may experience life 
Amongst the tapestry of human sensations 

When my roots are nourished
I crave deeper connections
My need for physical touch grows
Primal energy infuses my thoughts and dreams
As I desire to experience the universe on a spiritual level
Burning across the sky in an explosion of sacred energy
Enlightened and sated and complete

-gws


Toxicity

A snake with a butterfly by Johan Teyler (1648 -1709). Original from The Rijksmuseum. Digitally enhanced by rawpixel. by Rijksmuseum is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0
Venom and vitriol spill from your lips like waterfalls
Splashing your acidic emotion onto everyone within earshot
And like a corrosive acid
Your droplets of rage dissolve peace and trust into
Fumes of airborne poison
Born like toxic dandelion seeds in a wind storm
The toxin violates ears and thoughts and hearts
Plants fear
Births reflexive anxiety
Rivers of cortisol flow through my blood
The sickness consuming calm like a cancer
Slowly destroying and corrupting every relationship
That comes into contact with it

-gws