Burn

I sat in the flames as it all burned down
Trying to douse it with tears
But now I see things for what they are
And I step back to watch it burn

-gws

Offline

I regret to inform you
That the reality you subscribe to
Is currently offline 
As reality has no power switch 
There is no way to reset the system
Please accept my apologies 
For the extreme inconvenience
Such is the risk of sentient life
I never promised you life would be easy

-gws

Thousand

I've told you a thousand times I hate your demands of my body
You've shown me a thousand and one times you don't give a shit 
I've swallowed a thousand silent screams of frustration
I've cried a thousand silent tears of rage
I've counted a thousand agonizing seconds waiting 
For the understanding to etch across your face
That OUR relationship is more than just YOUR needs
But it never manifests
A thousand and one times this exchange plays out
Like ghosts caught in the temporal fly paper of their last moments
I can't even pretend I'm okay anymore
I will not arrange my face into a mask of acceptance
I will, instead, blank my face and retreat into my mind
Counting a thousand heartbeats enduring the unwanted attention
Disguised as affection that is really an affliction upon my person
One would think that a girl who looks like me should be grateful
That a boy who looks like you is so obsessed with a body like mine
I will admit that some part of me is flattered
That my thousand fat cells bear your label: SEXY
But when the package is more valued than the contents
It feels like a thousand Christmases where the kids 
Like the boxes better than the presents I agonized over choosing
I have identified a thousand random shapes in the ceiling paint
I have taken a thousand calming breaths
While screaming a thousand times in my mind 
STOP TOUCHING ME
It is a thousand moments of madness
When I want a thousand and one moments
Seeking my enthusiastic consent
Instead I endure a thousand days
Until the thousand is down to one

-gws

Seeking Release

Each time the house shook I knew
A storm was brewing
With unbridled rage
Knew that pools of acrid magma
Were rising to the surface
Seeking release

Each time the house shook I knew
That nowhere was safe
There was not enough time to escape
The maelstrom was coming
Wrathful and vicious
Seeking release

Each time the house shook I knew
I would stand against the gale
Diving deep into my power
Drawing on an ancient strength
Of ancestor, element, and divinity
Seeking release

-gws

No One

No one knows
No one knows the unfathomable rage I am home to
No one sees the hot coals behind my eyes
No one hears the internal screaming resounding in my chest
No one feels the radiant heat of my simmering anger
No one knows the infinite plans of vengeance I push down
No one knows the resilient heat of the embers of resentment hidden just below the surface
No one witnesses the growing of my impotent fury
I am a soul under pressure
I am determined to produce diamonds and not explosions
Some days the beast pleads to be freed so its tongue can lash and its claws can rip
I am stronger than my base self
And I will restrain the monster until I can heal the wounds that feed and fuel it
I am resolved to not become or be consumed by the monster
My desire to be whole is greater than my desire to fracture and destroy
No one knows I am fighting to heal
No one knows that I am determined to heal
I know I will heal
I will heal
I will be whole

-gws

Joy of Destruction

Born deep inside of me
A glowing ember begging to ignite
To storm, snap, and snarl
A crimson shadow sharpening its claws
Scarlet eyes stalking opportunity
A monster lurking just below restraint
Whispering dark pleas for release
Begging for me to drop its chains
So its primal fires can erupt
And burn down the world
Howling triumphantly at the joy of destruction

-gws

Thousand Cuts

I don't get to run from pain
It finds me
It circles like a wolf pack around wounded prey
I drop to my knees
Paralyzed and desperate for breath
Silent screams dying on my swollen lips
Tear tracks on my cheeks like tattoos
There's not enough rage to power a comeback
I've always gotten back up
But when is enough fight enough
When do I get to catch a break
Death by a thousand cuts is agony
Maybe I just need to lay face down in the mud
And let it drown me
I'm too tired to take another hit
-gws

Reckoning

Voices rose in sharp keening
The dry grass caught
And the world began to burn
Ancestors' voices whispered in their ears
As they focused their rage into a reckoning

-gws