I'm a NorCal mom working tech, raising young children, navigating marriage and divorce, life, work, and the emotions around it all. This blog grew out of my IG account where I share poetry, prose, and other posts that I hope speak to the soul. This blog primarily features my poetic musings and other writing. I hope you find something that speaks to you while you're here.
You were never mine
You were too transient to be considered mine
Too non-committal
But you attached yourself to me anyway
You kept coming back to knock on my door
And I kept letting you in
You wouldn't let go of me
Though you didn't really want me
And I was too blind
Trusting
Hopeful to acknowledge the truth I knew in my bones
That I'd never be enough for you
Because you didn't know what enough felt like
You were a bottomless pit of need that could not seem to be filled
I kept pouring into you
Until I was empty
And it wasn't enough
I always found ways of putting pennies in your cup
While mine lay abandoned and empty at our feet
Both of us left hungry and growling
Snapping and swiping at each other
Bloody
Broken
Damaged
Miserable
And for God knows what reason
Still unable to let go
I wished you had just let me go
And that I let you
-gws
I need fire
Passion
Excitement
I need curiosity and
Deep conversations in dark corners
Long walks in nature in comfortable silence
I need art
And dance
And song
And philosophy
I need magic
And mystery
And unicorns
I need amazing dinners
Fancy cocktails
And whispered secrets over candlelit tables
I need rainy day cuddles
Pillow fights
And breakfasts in bed
I need blanket forts
And favorite movies with popcorn
And taking turns reading The Princess Bride out loud for the hundredth time
I need surprise ice cream breakfasts
Slow dancing in the kitchen
And long, involved conversations about our individual dreams
I need connection
Of mind
And of spirit
If you want to love me I need you to
See me
Hear me
Give me room to stretch, explore and grow
And you will be rewarded with experiencing the world
As the magical adventure I know it to be
-gws
You will never love me the way I love you
And that's ok
Because loving you makes me brighter
Loving you gives my words weight
And my dreams color
It's longing for you that I will avoid doing
It's hoping that one day you will love me back
That I cannot let my heart abide
It's not that you do not care
You care deeply
Devotedly
But it is not the same as love reciprocated
And I cannot conflate the two
Or I will drown in heartbreak of my own creation
Instead I sit in the the patch of warm sunlight that is your affection
Feeling content in being seen
Being heard
Being cared for
In ways few others do
I attach cellophane love notes to the walls of my beautiful prison
Declaring "I love you!" in invisible ink that you will never see
You will never love me the way I love you
But you love me nonetheless in your own way
And I will let that be enough
- gws
It's easy for me to imagine how you might be rolling through all kinds of emotions. I'll hold space for you. I'll sit with you in the quiet of your storms. I'll be your safety whether you're overwhelmed or just contemplative. I've sat with you through hard things before, and I will do it again.
-gws
The sound of rain is a special magic.
It brings with it a sense of cleansing.
It brings sweet air that demands to be inhaled as deeply as possible.
The percussion something that can only be understood on a cellular level.
It pulls us into the sound.
Floating us in liquid song.
Primal and holy.
-gws
Photo by u0415u0432u0433u0435u043du0438u0439 shvedov_xubun on Pexels.com
I am a phoenix
White fire and quiet, contained power
Yet you mistake me for something common
I am elemental and fierce
I am intuitive and intelligent
I am calm and steadfast
Until ignited or inflamed
That is when all of my truth
All of my fearsomeness and fire
Blaze like a beacon in the night
Warning all who see me that
I am transformed into my divine self
Wings spread wide
Eyes blazing
Consuming all that stands in my way
I will always get back up
I will always rise again
Smarter
More experienced
Clearer-eyed
You may not see that I am a precious rarity
But I promise you that when I ascend
I will shine with divine light
And leave you cowering in total darkness
-gws
I’m a strong believer in taking the chance. I’d rather experience the adventure to arrive at knowing, regardless of the outcome, than experience the regret of never having quested at all.
Words Wishes and Wisdom 