You ask what can you do Nothing You can do nothing How can you offer what you do not have How can you heal what you cannot perceive How can you give comfort I speak with ghosts as you lay next to me So I can remember what it feels like to be seen To be understood in a way you are incapable of I don't know if you will ever be capable of learning to love me In all of the deeply intricate ways that I need Not If you can't learn to see me for who and what I actually am -gws
Holding space is a sacred practice It is the ultimate act of presence Holding space is like drawing a circle of protection It feels like sitting beneath a bright sky on a warm afternoon in earl fall It feels like opening your arms wide as if you could embrace all of Creation It feels like sitting by a bedside in deep prayer Holding space is allowing room for feelings to flow freely without concerns for time Or worries of judgement, puzzling out solutions, or providing traditional comfort Holding space is not about fixing anyone or anything It is about allowing what is to just be as it needs to be It is about allowing a soul to just be as it needs to be For as long as needed It is about honoring the process It is about walking along someone in silent vigil as they navigate their journey Sometimes that is just for a moment Sometimes that is for a gauntlet Holding space is saying that my heart beats with yours for as long as you have need Without expectation Without demand Holding space is bearing witness with love, respect and grace -gws
Where I end is not where you begin
It's where the space between us lives
The space where we both can stretch and breathe as individuals
It's the space where my dreams manifest
The space where my thoughts untangle
The space where my mind gives birth to the words manifested as my heart beats
This is a sacred space for me
My moat
My wall
My well worn path in front of my garden gate
Where I end is not where you begin
It is the absence which makes the heart grow fonder
The place where longing pushes up blooms of desire
It is the ocean between our continents with endless depths to explore and mysteries to discover
It is the chapter break between each new story we write
It is the fence that protects us from each others' demons
It is the tower spire where we can see each others' kingdoms
It is the bridge over the pond whose shores we share
Where I end is not where you begin
It is the picnic blanket we sit on beneath oak branches on an early autumn day
The breeze dancing between words read aloud under an azure sky to a soundtrack of busy bees
It is the place where we stand eye to eye
It is the place my voice crosses to reach your ears and yours crosses to reach mine
It is the space where the music plays that we dance to
It is a precious space that hosts the alchemy which manifests where our boundaries touch
It is the breath
The heartbeat
The sigh
The birthplace of connection
The space where I end is not where you being
It is the holy place held by two individuals to nourish one partnership
If it is smothered, it's bounty cannot grow
And the relationship will whither and die from lack of air and light
Hold the space
Honor the space
Tend your boarders and I will tend mine
And we might just produce something prismatic and beautiful
In the space between you and me
-gws
Your birthday has arrived again An honored remembrance of the day When your spirit debuted into the world In a sacred vessel made of water and earth A joyous day, indeed Your value is beyond measure Your insight has no equal You cast no shadow upon the ground For you are a source of light Full of humor and mischief Love and compassion There is no one else like you And let it be known how honored I am To call you, Friend -gws
How do I turn down the pain?
How do I stop the loop that repeatedly plays your violent words that pierced my soul?
How do we recover from the bomb you threw at our feet so you could feel…
Better?
Superior?
Right?
I bled out from the wounds you gave me.
I died in front of you, and you didn’t even notice.
Worse, you didn’t care.
I have returned as a ghost, broken and haunted by unfinished business.
You try to act as if you genuinely care, but your concern is just damage control for your guilt.
Your guilt will eventually fade, and your resentments will return.
But I am already gone.
-gws
A poem for my paternal aunt
You were a fairy tale A daydream A character in a bedtime story You were the fairy godmother in the mythology of my creation The accessible connection to the family I wanted to know And like a fairy tale You materialized into my life on a an ordinary day Bringing stories, love, and family I never expected to experience I could not imagine that my heart could hold all that you brought with you And yet it does As you fill in the blank pages of my storybook With the missing magic words that make me a whole person -gws
The time has come to leave the stage The play is done And its run complete The houselights are up And the audience has departed Douse the footlights And extinguish the spot It's time to remove our costumes And our makeup As we are players no more And yet we linger upon the stage Yearning for one more act One more scene So that we can linger in an illusion Of happily endings - gws
You said I was your rock But rocks succumb To weather and water And you are a storm -gws
I used to write for you Now I only write about you You do not have the patience Or maybe the capacity for poetry -gws
"In the end, you cannot save what does not want to be saved."
"When the pain is greater than the fear, you will know what to do."
Every time your resentments flow like tidal waves
I drown in a truth that is brighter than the sun
You didn’t want this life
You didn’t want me
You thought by choosing me you were…
...making right on the injuries you inflicted
...picking the girl who would be steady and sure
...thumbing your nose at your conservative parents
...proving something to your sisters
...doing what was expected of you by your family and society
...doing what you expected of yourself
You might have loved me once
But you don’t know how to love yourself
And unless you can love yourself
You cannot love anyone else
And we all suffer
You
Me
The kids
In trying to manifest some imagined expectation you believe the world burdened you with
You have doomed us to a hollow, lonely existence
In the darkest moments, I sometimes wish you had never come back
After you walked away all those years ago
I sometimes think the man I fell in love with never returned
You went out for bread and just never came back
Only your demons returned wearing your face
Time has not been kind to us
Nor has it bred kindness in us
Though I think I really tried
But the steel in your eye and the edge in your voice
As you lay down my assigned crimes in a quiet growl
Eviscerates me over and over for
The crimes of a world that doesn't adhere to your desires
It hurts to love you
And I don’t know if I have it in me to continue to try
I am drinking sand in the desert for lack of water
And I am withering inside
So just admit that I am not what you wanted
I am what you thought you should have
A requirement on the test of Life
That allowed you to check the box of successful adulthood
"Hurt people, hurt people," I've heard it said
You are a drowning man who is blindly flailing
Endangering or scaring off those who might help
I accept your life's injury and pain
But I do not accept responsibility for it
And I cannot continue to endure your wrath to heal you
"In the end, you cannot save what does not want to be saved."
"When the pain is greater than the fear, you will know what to do."
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 