I didn't need to have a reason But I did The reason I avoided that place Was you Was me Was us You see That was the place you decided that Us ceased to be That was the place where I returned to being just me The place where your voice Was replaced by the sound of slowly cracking glass As my heart shattered in my chest Your eyes pitied me While your lips spilled more Shattered glass to fill my roaring ears I forgot how to breathe And my now shattered heart forgot how to beat And your eyes pleaded with me Because you were already gone You had dismantled us Placed the pieces into a shoebox And buried me alive in a shallow grave I love you-s replaced by I'm sorry-s Those brown eyes indeed sorrowful As my soul was felled by a thousand surgical cuts Sundering two halves into two less-than wholes I just wanted you to stop talking To stop looking at me that way To stop tearing down my world Then you left And I stayed I didn't need to have a reason to avoid that place But I did
Shiny people are full of charisma
And trouble
Artists and musicians
Poets and dreamers
Hawkers and cons
All dreams and lack of substance
Spending time with them
Submerges us deep within their intoxicating fog of personality
Their attention like sweet, cold water on a hot day
Being in their orbit is so all-encompassing
That it's easy to forget how destructive their gravity is
Leaving us burning bright and high
Then burnt out and freefalling to fiery impact in the blink of an eye
We think they take the oxygen with them when they leave the room
And we willing hold our breath for the look, the smile, the touch
That leads to madness
As we crave the drug made flesh
That is shiny people
-gws
Because my mama loves me no matter how far away we are, or how frequently we talk
Because my mama loves me no matter how old I get, or how many babies I’ve had
Because my mama loves me no matter how capable or incapable I perceive myself to be
Because my mama loves me no matter how broke I am or successful I become
Because my mama loves me no matter how little or how much I love myself
Because my mama loves me..."more, most, to the moon and back, and to infinity and beyond"
Because my mama will always love her baby girl like the day she learned she carried my spark, and will beyond when our sparks rejoin the stars
Because I love my mama I will treat every check in like a hug
Because I love my mama I will treat every worry like a kiss
Because I love my mama I will treat every conversation as a gift
Because I love my mama I will treat every gift as a treasure
Because I love my mama I will not take any second of her love for me for granted
Because I will always love my mama I will love her like the day my spark took root inside of her, and will beyond when our sparks rejoin the stars
-gws
I think we are strangers
I want to love you, but I don't know who you are
Do you know?
It's hard to love someone you don't know
You don't seem to know who I am
Do you really want to?
We continue to dance in circles
But never to the same tune
All stomped on toes
And elbows to the ribs
Frustrated and blaming the other
Our sketches of the other
Horrific distortions
Each of us unrecognizable
In the images we hold up to each other
Like a horrible collaboration of Salvador Dali and Marc Chagall
We speak to each other in discordant tones
Two different conversations occurring in the same time and space
Cacophonous and dissonate
Everything lost in translation
-gws
You are a bad habit
Like nail biting or tobacco
Like loving the villain more than the hero
Like being addicted to pain
No matter how many times
I reshelve your story in the bookshop of my life
The familiar weight of it always ends up
Going home with me in my bag
Even though I know how the story ends
No matter how often I quit
No matter how much will power I employ
It's never enough to break the habit of you
And like the power inherent to so many bad habits
You may well be my undoing
-gws
"Disobedient children don't live half of their days."
I can hear your voice reciting this sentiment
Did you ever consider how scary that sounds to a child
I know it was meant to scare
But was it meant to scar
This turn of phrase left me so confused
So convinced that I’d never see adulthood
I know you meant no harm
You carried forward what you learned
Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep brought no comfort
For what does a child know of life and death
The memory of that oft said phrase
The memory of that terrible prayer
Still haunt my inner child
Rock-a-bye Baby always made me sad for the baby
Why was the baby on a treetop
A baby falling from a broken tree bough
Is hardly a comforting lullaby
I did not carry these things forward
I staunchly refused
I surrendered the nightmares of these things to the ether and to time
And celebrate every day that this disobedient child is still here
- gws
Where are the love song sentiments The reluctant partings The needful longings The passionate reunions The soul worshiping The celebration of every tiny quirk or trait The promises of lifetime comfort The celebrations of loving someone as they are For exactly who and what they are
The love songs lied and now all end in tears One day, who you are will not be who they want you to be And the same will be true as you look at them There will be no celebration And you will wonder if there ever really was I don't think there ever was
I think I was what was supposed to happen Chosen to be cast in a role because I showed up to the audition And no one else was qualified for the role I learned the lines and the choreography And it was good enough for a time But good enough only gets you by for a time
I thought I really earned the part That I embodied the role That compliments were sincere That the applause was genuine But the flowers stopped coming at the end of the show
The costumes no longer fit The auditorium is empty Or worse, filled with disappointment and resentment But I cannot remove the makeup No matter how hard I scrub And I cannot leave the stage Because the show must go on So I repeat the same steps on the worn floor The soulless smile failing to light my eyes Enduring until the music ends
You treat me like a beautiful mind
Asking my opinions
Exploring ideas
You invite me to engage in discordant conversation
And uncomfortable curiosity
You bid me to think deeply
To test the boundaries of my beliefs
You ask me to pull you down rabbit holes of rumination
Neither of us sure where we will be lead
Yet both of us excited for the journey
We discuss, debate, and discover
We challenge, and question, and deadlock
Always honest and vulnerable
Open, curious, and safe
Exchanging thoughts and perspectives
With the utmost love and respect
And I thank you for every luminous minute
-gws
When my roots are nourished
The fire at my core ignites
The light returns to my eyes
As my soul flares bright with renewal
Colors become more vivid
Flavors more complex
My pupils dilate
The world is exciting again
Enticing again
When my roots are nourished
My mind becomes expansive
Filled with possibilities, curiosities, and wonderment
My blood sings universal mysteries into my ears
As I become wholly seated in my body
So that I may experience life
Amongst the tapestry of human sensations
When my roots are nourished
I crave deeper connections
My need for physical touch grows
Primal energy infuses my thoughts and dreams
As I desire to experience the universe on a spiritual level
Burning across the sky in an explosion of sacred energy
Enlightened and sated and complete
-gws
Venom and vitriol spill from your lips like waterfalls
Splashing your acidic emotion onto everyone within earshot
And like a corrosive acid
Your droplets of rage dissolve peace and trust into
Fumes of airborne poison
Born like toxic dandelion seeds in a wind storm
The toxin violates ears and thoughts and hearts
Plants fear
Births reflexive anxiety
Rivers of cortisol flow through my blood
The sickness consuming calm like a cancer
Slowly destroying and corrupting every relationship
That comes into contact with it
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 