I’m walking between worlds
Both in a nightmare
And waking from one
Navigating the rocky path
One footfall at a time
Calling on my ancestors
Those women who each
Did the same in their own way
As I step out of darkness
Into the healing light of freedom
-gws
I sat in the flames as it all burned down
Trying to douse it with tears
But now I see things for what they are
And I step back to watch it burn
-gws
I see the grief in your eyes
As the carefully crafted reality you made
Starts to fracture into a cascade of spiderwebs
The part of me that still loves you
Wants to comfort you
Tell you that everything will be ok
But I cannot do that
This disillusionment is necessary
And being trapped inside your bell jar
Has nearly ended me
I will not forge you a new one with false hope
That I am still your refuge
Because this all must end
You must face the world
On the other side of the looking glass
The real world where the damage you have wrought
Lays exposed before you
A cold world where you are finally alone
My heart breaks because it didn't need to be this
I wanted to love you
I tried to
But you didn't know how to accept love
And you didn't know how to give love
Because you don't know how to love yourself
You don't know what healthy love feels like
I feel the grief in my heart as I watch you
Watch your world unravel
I mourn for both of us
For the future that will never be
For the past so full of pain
For the love we both deserved but
That couldn't survive your demons
I did love you
I loved you so much, so hard
I forgot how to love myself
I grieve for all we are letting go of
I grieve along side you
As my hand slips from yours
And we learn to say goodbye
-gws
I am no longer invested
In getting you to love me
The way that I need to be loved
I am no longer invested
In your opinions of me
I am no longer invested
In trying to meet you in the middle
I am no longer invested
In twisting myself into broken shapes to please you
When my only reward is pain
I am no longer invested
Because I have divested you
Of your access to my serenity
-gws
On the night I was arrested
Our argument ended when
You called me a
"Fat. Lazy. Black. Bitch."
Our children heard you
I heard you
I couldn't believe you said it
But I heard you
The words hung in the air like poison
Choking the tears in my eyes
Choking the rage in my throat
Time stopped
Suspended by shock
Each painfully silent moment
Accompanied by the roaring blood
Rushing like a raging river in my ears
As I stood in the kitchen
Eyes wide and mouth open
Speechless
Everything suddenly clear
As I stared at you in utter disbelief
It was over
It had been over
And with that final insult
Those four ugly adjectives
It became unmistakably understood
I was done
-gws
I am not the author of your story
As much as that saddens me to admit
You are the wordsmith of your tale
You write yourself as the hero of your own journey
Despite being so often the villain of mine
But understanding how you see your world
Understanding that you can be none other
Than the hero of your pages
Helps me gain perspective into why
You write me as the arch-villain of your narrative
There is no mirror in your story
You cannot see yourself
And as if bespelled
You see only monsters and
Enemies in every shadow
My pages would describe the cause
As a self-afflicted curse
Yours would imply the question
Are villains born or made?
For you would say you are
The result of what others made you
Be you hero or villain
You are forever alone
Shadowboxing every perceived threat
And drawing blood from everyone
Who gets too close for too long
Blinded by pain and unable to
See that the one causing
The most pain for you is you
Like a manifested destiny
It becomes so
As our books sit side by side on the shelf
Yours a story of never ending rage, war, and loss
Mine becomes a story of surrender, retreat, and release
For I am removing myself from your story
It is time to make myself the hero of my own
And write the closing of this chapter
For I can feel the peace and love I deserve
Waiting for me in the next chapters of my life
I am ready to transform my story
Into the self-love story I have long deserved
I hope you find your happy ending
I write a magic wish for that
Into my final paragraph
Of our chapter in my book
Then turn the page to my tabula rasa
Full of potential and possibilities
And the freedom to write my future
As rich and joyful as I can imagine it
-gws
How do I turn down the pain?
How do I stop the loop that repeatedly plays your violent words that pierced my soul?
How do we recover from the bomb you threw at our feet so you could feel…
Better?
Superior?
Right?
I bled out from the wounds you gave me.
I died in front of you, and you didn’t even notice.
Worse, you didn’t care.
I have returned as a ghost, broken and haunted by unfinished business.
You try to act as if you genuinely care, but your concern is just damage control for your guilt.
Your guilt will eventually fade, and your resentments will return.
But I am already gone.
-gws
The time has come to leave the stage The play is done And its run complete The houselights are up And the audience has departed Douse the footlights And extinguish the spot It's time to remove our costumes And our makeup As we are players no more And yet we linger upon the stage Yearning for one more act One more scene So that we can linger in an illusion Of happily endings - gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 