Thunder rattles behind her ribs
Lightening arcs from her tongue
She is storm clouds
Bringing steady rain to parched earth
Raging winds to clear the way
She is elemental
Wild and raw and rare
Her smile crepuscular
Her love blisteringly radiant
I live to study her meteorology
-gws
Let me
Write leading lines of poetry for you to follow
Tell stories that map the shape of a life for you to drag your finger along
Lay down relief lines that loop and dance in the shape of words
Let me expound through exposition about
The glory of the light and the shadow
Playing tag across the ground on a late summer day
Let me create a charcuterie board
Where you may sample experiences
Bitter rejection
Sweet elation
Effervescent joy
Bilious sorrow
Buttery new love
Spicy lust
Let me fold words like origami
Creating complex and beautiful things
Out of the simplest pieces
Strung together in a garland
Every angle leading to an experience
Every plane representing a feeling
Let me be a mirror
That you may recognize
Something familiar in my lines
So that you know that you are not alone
In the experience that is living
But that we walk in parallel
Submerged in this infinite sea of stars
-gws
With naught even a whisper
I closed the book
Put down the pen
Then cracked a new book
To begin again…
-gws
I thought there’d be one more Christmas
Below the foggy redwood line
In the temperate golden sunlight
Of California’s winter time
But life had other plans for me
And so the next I knew
My life was packed in boxes tight
And northward bound I flew
Here the winter skies are gray
The hush of snow abounds
No California winter sun
Shines down upon this ground
The life I’d come to know so well
The sea salt and rolling fog
The Bay and golden foothills
Now grace this monologue
This Christmas in our new home
Amongst the peaks and pines
Finds my tiny family brood
Building new and joyful lives
Those California Christmases
With lit palm trees in lines
Painted purple sunsets
Now only in my mind
Here night descends at 4PM
We tuck in nice and warm
The PNW slows life down
Outside my new front door
More time to talk about our days
New adventures we began
New traditions being created
With new family and friends
Another California Christmas
Has rolled around again
I reflect upon it fondly
As my new chapter begins
-gws
The leaves change here
Oranges and reds popping out
Amongst stubborn green
The wind shifts
Autumn comes to call
The world leans in here
Demands life to slow down
The quiet season is coming
The world makes ready its winter bed
Telling you to pull out your blankets
Candles and hearthfires
Demanding preparations for long nights
Wood smoke and hot chocolates
And much needed rest
gws
Earthly treasures buried deep
Mined from the richest dirt
Jewels of every shape and color
Amethyst
Russet
Red
Gold
Yellow
Orange
Faceted with eyes
Roasted
Steamed
Boiled
Fried
Crown jewels of my plate
gws
I find myself standing upon another threshold
Bags packed
Affairs ordered
The past at my back as I stand poised to step into my future
In this liminal space I wish to pause
To linger in this brief moment
Between heartbeats
Between footsteps
To reflect on this transition
I have packed the important things
Lessons
Friendships
Memories
Love
Potential
Hope
I have purged the obsolete
Pain
Fear
Illusions
Expectations
Obligations
A version of a life I outgrew
I note my era of milestones
Marriage
Motherhood
Misery greater than a person should ever hold
I will miss the map pin piercing the shape of what has been and always will be home
Marking the places and people that ripened me into the woman I am
Whose stories now inform my mythology
The second hand strains
I breathe in one more breath
Infuse the ether of a fading life
Into the nucleus of my cells
As I complete my crossing
Into the dawn of my new life
-gws
You finally let your mask slip
And with it crumbled the dam I built for you
Made of guilt and grief and pity
You tore it all down with four texts
Relieved me of the strain of false responsibility
By revealing your true and malignant self
Through the dust and dirt
I finally knew what freedom felt like
As the stones tumbled away and the air cleared
I could finally see you sharply
I knew in that moment I had done the right things
A rumble began to rise
As the rage began to ascend
Suppressed beneath my compassion for you
Barricaded by empathy your didn't deserve
Now the pain and hurt and grief and rage
I held back for this last year
Ices my skin
Darkens my eyes
Eliminates my capacity for compassion
And awakens the tactician's skills
The quiet, calculated, dark, divine feminine
Is finally assuming her throne within me
Welcome to my healing era
No fucks are given here anymore
-gws
I want abundance
Ease
I want to vanquish the sense of lack
Back to the emptiness that birthed it
I want joy as plentiful as pollen in spring
Worry to become a dirty word
I want art and literature and poetry
And dancing to the music of my heart
Easy mornings and quiet evenings
My children's laughter endlessly echoing
Against walls papered in their smiles
I want a life where dreams thrive
Where tears fall as frequently
As summer rain in California
I want more than wanting
I demand this
I plant these desires into the world's fertile soil
Water these seeds with whispers of manifestation
I no longer seek permission to light my hearth
I am a sun
I set the world alight with my mere being
I do not seek permission for the life I want
I am here
Now
Already permitted
Already reaping the blessings of the world
Worthy of all the good since birth
A miracle amongst miracles
And today I claim my place
gws
You cannot see me but you can never forget I'm here
I'm etched upon your existence like a tattoo
I am a scar carved into your soul
A memory of a war waged and survived
You have learned to live with me
Learned to navigate the taught tenderness of my edges
I ache when you rain
I pull when you venture too close to familiar flames
You don't notice me much anymore
You've managed to balm my wound well enough
For time and distance to allow me to heal
But I will never be gone
I will always be the quiet reminder of lessons learned
When I ache you remember
There was once a grievous hurt that ripped you open
You remember you have survived
One hundred percent of your bad days
You remember you know how to heal
-gws
