She is a poet An enigmatic storyteller A word-painter who colors outside the lines Who sometimes rhymes Language her artistic medium Manifesting nouns and verbs Seeking nuanced shades in adjectives and adverbs Crafting simile and metaphor Manipulating personification and hyperbole Until a shape evolves This scaffolding for allegory to be called a poem A golem built from meticulously chosen words Watercolor emotions Empathetic evocations The work imbued with the DNA of her life experience Powered by hope for her audience to feel at a visceral level A fraction of the tsunami that lives in her
The Universe intervened In our amber-trapped lives Cleaving us asunder Now that your umbra is clearing I begin to see the Universe has Gifted me infinite sunrises Bursting with innumerable possibilities After half my life with you Standing you up Holding you up I find myself suddenly free Of the responsibility of you I delight in the joy of doing anything Without your judgment I relax remembering that there are no Relentless expectations to navigate I revel in a full night's uninterrupted sleep I relinquish more and more tension from my body As each day passes without you A single divine gift containing All the possibilities I can dream of I will not get over you in a day You have left me a moonscape Desolate and damaged I will redeem and reclaim myself Both shadow and light Ever shifting and changing Just like the magnificent moon
I exist in a liminal state A being And not a being
Grief ebbs and flows in king tides Emptying me Submerging me Stealing away my breath With its pressure changes Feelings grow in question marks Within my hollow chest Proliferating like fungus in the fall Inside of my being that is not a being
Emptiness overflowing with nothingness Destruction and restoration Warring to fill the immeasurable void Shaped like my cremated heart Pulsing with unfathomable aching Testing the tolerances of My being that is not a being
It is surreal to be and not be To experience the reality of the question Posed by Master Shakespeare In rhyme and sonnet so long ago To understand that one can be both A being and not a being
I may appear whole What you cannot see Are the burns on my feet From walking miles through fire The stars in my eyes From taking too many hits The lacerations on my skin From navigating uncountable shards of glass The weariness deep in my bones From rising everyday to overcome Some challenge or trial Again And again I have dodged and weaved Punched and parried my way Through days I never could have predicted I have shown up when all I desired Was to lay down and give up Because if not me, then who Mothers have to dig deep We have to find that reservoir of power labeled Do it for the children So I push So I push So I push Through the deepest, coldest waters The fiercest, raging fires The longest, darkest nights because If not me, then who For them
What is this nightmare? Acne Joint pain Mood swings Hot flashes Night sweats Insomnia It's a good thing that men do not experience The joys of menopause I'm pretty sure that we would have Destroyed ourselves long ago if they did Because this experience is madness It's like the upgrade to puberty no one wanted I HAVE SO MUCH RAGE This has to be the reason women stop Putting up with intolerable things during midlife Because I'm ready to take a machete to all of the bullshit I have zero patience for anything When my hormones tumble out of wack All stupidity enrages me And so many things are branded with A blinking neon sign that reads STUPIDEST THING EVER DO NOT TOLERATE Now don't get it twisted, gentle listeners There are no excuses planted here Do not dismiss my disgruntled reactions As merely hormonal storm surges These hormones are the reason I can see The bullshit so clearly They are the reason I will not abide the bullshit One second longer
As I once let go of the Maiden's mantel to take up the Mother's mantel I now start letting go of my Mother's mantel To assume the mantel of the Crone Her knowing look Her sharp witted smirk She has seen it and rejected it all She understands that societal norms The expectations that sit like weights Upon her back are not hers to carry She understands that she is a force She stops caring what others think of her And starts caring about what she thinks of herself I feel these changes calling to my core Calling the taproot of my soul to descend Into the tides ruled by my will and Grace's wisdom Tides that my ancestors waded in And tapped into before me The wise women The grandmothers The healers and midwives The matriarchs I am about to inherit their legacy
But first I must walk this gauntlet called menopause This thrill ride is only just beginning And I already want off If you meet me and see a feral glint in my eye Or sweat on my brow Know it's best to just walk on by My grasp on my self-control Is not a secure one I run on resentments and judgment Not tightly moored to my higher self This base self more worldly Guiding me through this transition Steeped in ragged ugly truth So that when I emerge My crown of silver Is earned
Dear woman in the mirror How are you today? Did you sleep well? I’d like to ask you to be my Valentine? My Gal-entine? My number one relationship Will you dream with me of our happiness? Will you help me manifest our joy? I promise to shower you in compliments To speak softly and gently to you I will hold your wellbeing above all things I know I haven’t always been your cheerleader I have often been your worst critic And I’m sorry for that I’m learning how to treat you better I’m learning how to better support you To do more than acknowledge you have needs I wish to meet those needs I wish to show you the deepest kindness I wish to reflect your incomparable worthiness Because you are always worthy No matter what others say or do to prove otherwise
Would you like a cup of tea? How about a blanket and a good book? Do you need a moment in the sun, Or perhaps a nap buried beneath mounds of blankets?
You and me are the OG We’ve got to take care of each other Because no matter who comes and goes We will always have each other We’ve endured a lot together I know you are so tired I promise you that we will learn to move From surviving to thriving You and I
Let’s start today, my Valentine By promising to say these three words Every time we see each other
If I am too much
Then let me be too much
I am light and expansive
And I will not be constrained
By those who wish me to be small
For like the wind
I will not be caged
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 