I am the fourth daughter to do it alone Independence and survival are in my DNA Only child to a single mother Only granddaughter amongst the cousins Only kid on my block I have lived in comfortable aloneness most of my life Do not believe I do not get lonely I know how to remedy loneliness Trusted family Tribe Are always a keystroke or "hello" away
I'd prefer to have a partner To help me raise and support my children But not at the cost of my independence My independence is foundational in my peace If I cannot retain my independent spirit I cannot sustain my sense of self I need a partner who walks alongside me Who understands that I need to run in my wildness Who does not try to domesticate me Into something less than myself
Aloneness is not absence or lack It is the space where I meet myself It is the door to my Narnia The place where unfettered dreams thrive Where words waltz in ballgowns and tails Where stories bloom from rich soil Where I sit in conversation with discomfort Where I sit in conversation with my gods It is the garden of my delights And it is as precious to me as air
How do I manage alone you ask I understand that I'm never really alone I'm as alone as I choose to be I'm helped as much as I choose to ask for it It is not as perfect or simple as these stanzas may imply But the essence of my truth is here Simplified Distilled into a comprehensible version Of my vast and complex reality A demonstration of shifting perspective Being alone carries so much oppressive connotation I choose to experience it as a necessary liberation Allowing me to navigate life by my own north star Inspiring me to never lose sight of myself again
I stand with Lady Hecate in her place of power The Great Crossroad The intersection of past and present Lessons and possibility She holds her lantern aloft Illuminating my options I can see that each step Each choice Leads to another nexus Another crossroad For life is a spiderweb of crossroads An infinite collection of choices Interconnecting to plot our life's course In this moment of perfect presence I breathe I reach out with my intuition With deep faith and trust I step forward Toward a future of my own choosing
Women! Do not center your lives around men Pleasing Appeasing We are not the prey for their predator Though some argue nature made it so
We are Medusa's progeny Serving oleander sweet tea And Aqua Tofana cocktails We carry the legacies of Lilith Hecate and the Morrigan Skywoman and Diana of the Hunt In our bones
We are born with cunning woven into our shadows Placed there by the midwives and wise-women Kitchen witches and herbalists Shaman and priestesses Who came before us
We have our own form of politics Whispered around washing wells and sewing circles Book clubs and coffee tables We don our poison rings and hat pins Let them think our docility safe While we keenly observe and note and remember
It is time to end the war waged upon our bodies The raping of our spirit The subjugation of our gender We are the gateway of life We break ourselves open through blood and pain To do the Goddess's work of creation
Too long have we allowed the world to think us Weak Helpless Foolish Simple Incapable We must remind the world of our strength
Boudicca was beaten and her daughters raped And in her rage she waged war against Rome Joan d'Arc stood against the English and the Church A God-touched, heretic, peasant child whose heart would not burn Harriet Tubman survived the travesties of slavery Another God-touched woman who delivered 70 other souls to freedom And we know there are so many more like them
Though we may not find our names etched in history We are no less powerful than those who are Our lives are OUR CHOICE We are not chattel nor trophies We are creation gifted autonomy It is our divine right to wield our lives as we see fit
Let them vilify us as Succubi Mad women Uppity bitches And cunts
We know we are Goddesses Priestesses Witches And warriors
We are exhausted We are fed up We are wrathful The Divine Feminine rises The world is set ablaze around us But we are not tied to the pyre We choose to look the world dead in the eye And dance while it burns
I smoked a joint with the moon She insisted it would allow us to see the world's beauty better As herbal clouds drifted lazily across her round face She rambled dreamily about the midnight sea's endless dance with her voluptuous celestial body Spoke stanzas of star songs Sang of wild wolf hunts and their howling choruses Described forest galleries full of freshly woven spider webs bejeweled with moon-dazzled dew She waxed lyrical about the endless stream of hopes and prayers whispered to her Giggled as she fondly recounted the numerous myths humans had crafted about her I listened contentedly Basking in her hazy light My heavy-lidded eyes glistening half moons themselves Safely ensconced in her keeping
I will not fear I will not falter I will not yield I am the great storm coming I will rattle the stars
My freedom will mean something The wicked will not haunt my thoughts I will not let the hard days win I will remain unwavering in the face of hopelessness I will climb the mountain I will not be afraid I will not survive or exist, but live
I am the rock against which the surf crashes, nothing can break me I am the spirit that cannot be broken Only I can decide what breaks me I will not be broken or tamed I will not be caged I will allow no force in the world to keep me contained I will bow to no one
I will not feel bad for doing things that bring me joy I am the dreamer who will remake the world I am elegant, feminine, and utterly wild I will not be afraid of what makes me shine brightly Mine is not a story of darkness
I see you watching The sway of my hips The set of my lips The unapologetic way I take up space You're wondering about me Imagining my mysteries Gauging if you are worthy To kneel in worship before My dark goddess displayed Exhalant in my glory I will take no audience With ordinary souls They do not ignite curiosity in me I like those who recognize Their audacity in approaching me Because my eyes show I give no fucks I do not play If I let you in Doesn't mean you get to stay I have danced with devils And cast them all out Barely a glance spared them I see you watching me What's your move
In sacred prayer I place myself in Her protection Amongst a ring of salt and sage To cleanse and clarify Purify and protect Grounding me to earth Connecting me to sky
I sit in my silver armor upon my golden throne Light streams in through my temple's high windows Painting the floor below my dais in deep lavender beams The temple is quiet and familiar and mine
The doors to the chamber open and he enters Shadows trailing from his shoulders Like a cloak woven from smoke He strides forward Until he is stopped by the barrier of lavender light We lock eyes with each other He kneels upon the stones A gesture of only minor supplication For his eyes never leave mine
I close my eyes and breathe I feel the gauntlets release from my wrists The greaves from my legs The chest plate and chain mail The weight of them suddenly gone I open my eyes and watch as the armor becomes dark smoke Passing through the boundary Returning to him I do not need protection any longer The silver collar releases from my throat Then the silver circlet from my brow And last the silver band upon my finger The weight of him removed from me Cleansed and returned to his keeping
My eyes return to his Now he breathes deeply and black smoke flows from him As it passes through the lavender boundary The smoke becomes like liquid gold A delicate gold filigree pendent alights above my heart Glowing with a quietly fierce fire I can feel a gentle thrum as it syncs with my pulse Upon my head appears a grand and golden fiery crown Radiating strength and power Pulsing with each breath Now restored, these symbols of my power blaze to life Burning away every shadow in the temple Returning the quiet fire to my eyes
His shadows retreat as does his gaze He bows his head once This ritual of returning and release ended I watch as he rises, turns, and retreats He disappears back through the temple's doors They close silently behind him Tethered together no longer I sit in my power Whole again and free
There was a girl who was friends with God The girl was told God was a man in white robes But her God was a woman in a soft blue dress Who let the girl sleep protected in her arms Just the same as she held her own son
Words Wishes and Wisdom 