Oh it's you I knew you might find me again one day Minding my business Unaware and defenseless I knew you might show up on my doorstep Inviting the resurrection of my long disused heart I thought we had an agreement An understanding, perhaps You see, I have no desire to let you settle here again The soil in which I am planted is not good for your roots You salted it well long ago Do you really not remember because I still do And yet here you are Bags in hand asking if you can stay a while Looking at me with familiar enticement Dressed up in pheromones and endorphins With all the charisma of a red carpet return I have not forgotten how fickle you are How you overstayed your welcome How you left me heartbroken I don't trust you You're too good at feeling good I forget too easily how you are besties with misery Stop looking at me with eyes that want to know me Stop looking at me with eyes that want Stop attempting to pull me into your gravity I do not trust I can break free again I don't want to have to break free again Don't you understand you are not safe for me Don't you understand I need to feel safe I do not trust myself in your presence I am scared, you see You see, I am scarred So very scared So very scarred The last time I let you stay Nearly dismantled me So no Do not leave one speck of dirt on my doormat I beg you to to forget where I live I do not want your false promises I do not want you to be seen by you Your attention has cost me too much And I'm still in debt for it
Love feels like Pandora's Box of contradicting experiences Love alights you upon a mountain top of elation And sequesters you in a dungeon of anxiety Love can feel like Elysian Fields And Dante's Inferno Love can make you feel like an accomplished genius And the village idiot Love gives your soul wings And your body two left feet Love makes poetry of your dreams And salad of your words Love inspires amazing highs And devastating lows Love is celebrated when it arrives And mourned when it departs Pleasure and pain separated by fate's coin toss A game of chance we cannot stop playing
Aspire to write a banned book Describe the human condition So thoroughly So honestly Others find if vulgar Tell a story so devastatingly true The pearl-clutchers swoon from their shock Real life Real experience Is not sanitary It is not "golly gee!" and "oh, my!" Real stories Real living Is dirt covered Blood stained Disturbing Realness is a dystopia covered in expletives and epithets Characters spitting fiery words like "FUCK!" "SHIT!" And "You God-damned, MOTHER FUCKER!" While thumbing their noses and erecting middle fingers In real stories the hero's journey is never facile It's not sanitized or resolved in three acts In real stories antagonists are Insidious Oppressive Outrageously powerful The game is rigged Injustice systemic The ruling class held aloft and apart Tucked safely into their delusion of their goodness and security Benefiting remorselessly from the oppression they enable In contrast the rest of society scraps and scrapes Dreaming of freedom unattainable Reveling in whatever joys afforded them Praying that they can meet the next hardship Survive the next day Provide a better future for their progeny I implore you to write a story that reflects hope in survival Pen a tale that may not have a happy ending Hold a mirror up to the world in which we live Let those who would look away See their villainy reflected back at them And let those who are not seen Be held glorious in the spotlight Because their existence matters I hope you write a disruptive book An honest book A book full of the truths of living in an unbalanced world I hope you see it move from the bestseller feature table To the dusty banned books shelf Then you will know you understood the assignment
There is not right time No one will give you permission Reach for the dream Start learning something new Say the thing you want to say Grasp the chance It's better to try and nurse the bruises of defeat Than befriend the bitterness of regret for life
You are a bad habit
Like nail biting or tobacco
Like loving the villain more than the hero
Like being addicted to pain
No matter how many times
I reshelve your story in the bookshop of my life
The familiar weight of it always ends up
Going home with me in my bag
Even though I know how the story ends
No matter how often I quit
No matter how much will power I employ
It's never enough to break the habit of you
And like the power inherent to so many bad habits
You may well be my undoing
-gws
I will be brave in the face of my fears
For scarier than failure is regret
I am no more guaranteed to fail than I am to succeed
It is the journey that will forge and shape my next self
And it is in knowing the result
Whatever it may be
That will allow me to travel from this life
With a smile upon my lips
And satisfaction in my heart
Because I was brave enough to try
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 