The time has come to leave the stage The play is done And its run complete The houselights are up And the audience has departed Douse the footlights And extinguish the spot It's time to remove our costumes And our makeup As we are players no more And yet we linger upon the stage Yearning for one more act One more scene So that we can linger in an illusion Of happily endings - gws
You said I was your rock But rocks succumb To weather and water And you are a storm -gws
I used to write for you Now I only write about you You do not have the patience Or maybe the capacity for poetry -gws
"In the end, you cannot save what does not want to be saved."
"When the pain is greater than the fear, you will know what to do."
Every time your resentments flow like tidal waves
I drown in a truth that is brighter than the sun
You didn’t want this life
You didn’t want me
You thought by choosing me you were…
...making right on the injuries you inflicted
...picking the girl who would be steady and sure
...thumbing your nose at your conservative parents
...proving something to your sisters
...doing what was expected of you by your family and society
...doing what you expected of yourself
You might have loved me once
But you don’t know how to love yourself
And unless you can love yourself
You cannot love anyone else
And we all suffer
You
Me
The kids
In trying to manifest some imagined expectation you believe the world burdened you with
You have doomed us to a hollow, lonely existence
In the darkest moments, I sometimes wish you had never come back
After you walked away all those years ago
I sometimes think the man I fell in love with never returned
You went out for bread and just never came back
Only your demons returned wearing your face
Time has not been kind to us
Nor has it bred kindness in us
Though I think I really tried
But the steel in your eye and the edge in your voice
As you lay down my assigned crimes in a quiet growl
Eviscerates me over and over for
The crimes of a world that doesn't adhere to your desires
It hurts to love you
And I don’t know if I have it in me to continue to try
I am drinking sand in the desert for lack of water
And I am withering inside
So just admit that I am not what you wanted
I am what you thought you should have
A requirement on the test of Life
That allowed you to check the box of successful adulthood
"Hurt people, hurt people," I've heard it said
You are a drowning man who is blindly flailing
Endangering or scaring off those who might help
I accept your life's injury and pain
But I do not accept responsibility for it
And I cannot continue to endure your wrath to heal you
"In the end, you cannot save what does not want to be saved."
"When the pain is greater than the fear, you will know what to do."
-gws
Do you see me? I’m here! Over here! Please look my way. Right now, if you will. I need to be seen. Am I loud enough? Am I bouncy enough? Am I doing enough to draw you into me? I need to be reminded I am important to someone. To you. Right now. My inner child is screaming for recognition. Just acknowledge me and I promise I will relax. That feels good. Thank you. Wait. How about a little more? Wait, don’t go back to what you were doing. I still crave your attention. I still am desperate for validation. I still need. I still need. I still need… -gws
Yesterday I saw a friend for the first time in a long time. Although it hadn't been terribly long, a lot of life happened for both of us since I last saw them. We hugged each other fiercely, as if quenching a long neglected thirst. The power of the moment, the energy and emotion that flew across the room and into my unknowingly needful arms was surprisingly welcome. Everything stopped for a few heartbeats as we existed in the silent contentment of a deeply longed for and comforting embrace. They are kindred. Family. Precious to me in ways I have no need to explain. Being with them is like sipping sweet water for my soul. Time together is always precious and seems never long enough. I look forward to the next visit together. -gws
Blue skies Music blasting Windows down Freedom Miles of laughter Girlfriends Confessions and secrets Worry free Enjoying life Road trippin' -gws
You used to taste like walnuts Sweet and earthy Now you taste of vinegar and bitterness -gws
Please excuse the mess This house is under construction Held together by scotch tape and string The foundation is rotten and weak And there are bats in the attack Making a terrible mess of things At least the curtains are nice -gws
My hummingbird visited me today She was excited to remind me how she told me that everything would be okay Her last visit was to remind me that the Goddess had not turned from me This visit was to celebrate good news finally come How blessed I am to be able to converse with messengers of the Divine How lucky I am to recognize them I will miss her as her home is here, and now my home will be elsewhere She and her family have been such wonderful neighbors and delightful friends I will miss watching them play amongst the branches of the front trees Now they will have new friends to meet May they be good and gentle ones I love you, tiny, shiny friend Thank you for your friendship Thank you for your work as a messenger May your life be full of bright flowers and sweet nectar Warm sunshine and gentle breezes And when you one day return to our Mother May Her garden be the temple of respite you so deserve -gws
