You used to taste like walnuts Sweet and earthy Now you taste of vinegar and bitterness -gws
Walnuts
Author: Words Wishes and Wisdom
I'm a NorCal mom working tech, raising young children, navigating marriage and divorce, life, work, and the emotions around it all. This blog grew out of my IG account where I share poetry, prose, and other posts that I hope speak to the soul. This blog primarily features my poetic musings and other writing. I hope you find something that speaks to you while you're here.
Kindred Women
They sang by the well They danced by the sea They shared the old stories beneath the oak tree She mothered the children She tended with care She knew that her village would always be there I listen to wisdom I watch old hands work I learn at the feet that have long graced the earth We women have shared We women have cried We women are stronger as sisters side by side As maidens we listen As mothers we love As crones we share wisdom from all we've dreamed of -gws
A Story of Serenity
Once upon a time, there was a young woman full of bright hot rage. If she could have burned the world, she would have. The young woman couldn't function in the world in this state so she shoved down the rage. She stuffed it into the darkest, most secure space in her soul. The trouble was that the hot, acid rage ate away at its container. The young woman could feel hints of the corrosion. Sometimes the rage would escape, like a coronal eruption, flaring fierce and hot, leaving the young woman devastated and trying to pick up the pieces left behind in the aftermath. One day, the woman wasn't quite young anymore. The wound that housed the rage showed in her eyes in the mirror. It slipped from her lips as resentments. It cramped her hands into fists in her sleep. It tasted bitter in her mouth, and started fragmenting her damaged soul. One day, she grabbed her keys and just started walking. She walked with tears in her eyes and sobs in her chest until she found herself in an open space. In that open space, she laid down on her back, looked to the sky, and she screamed. She raged and wailed at the sky, emptying herself of all the bitterness that had filled her up and overflowed the hollow space in her soul. She let all of it go. She gave it to her god with desperation, and prayed to know how to heal. Her higher power led her to others who knew her pain. Those people welcomed her without judgement, and offered her twelve small steps that lead her to a new experience: serenity. -gws
My Step 2 Prayer
I am only in control of my choices and reactions I accept that I am not my own higher power I recognize that in order to begin to experience serenity I must accept that I am powerless over people places and things I will be present in the understanding that "Thy will be done" I know your hand guides my life through all joys and hardships I have experienced many times the presence of your influence when I choose to believe that you have y back through any storm You have never failed to provide and lead me to gentler shores I ask you to oversee my journey through the twelve steps Please continue to place me where I can be taught by the experience, strength, and hope of others who have walked the path of recovery, both before and after me Continue to help me grow and to learn how to care about myself and take care of myself when the chaos of others bangs on my door looking to disrupt my hard earned serenity Help me to be open to truly discovering and uncovering more about myself Help me be brave in the face of hard truths Help me to be brave enough to be true to myself when fear motivates old patterns in my behavoir Help me remember how to show up as my best self or to forgive myself when I don't Guide me from step to step and from day to day as I practice what I am learning on this journey Help me walk honestly and to be vulnerable when appropriate Use my voice to help others when I share my experiences Place me in the time and place that I am needed and that I need Be the gateway that marks my path to a new way of living and continue to speak loudly in my life as you always have Help me to remember you are always beside me, even in the darkest despair You are always the light of hope that reminds me it cannot always be night I surrender to your loving will and plan for my life I am only in control of my choices and reactions I accept that I am not my own higher power I recognize that in order to begin to experience serenity I must accept that I am powerless over people places and things I will be present in the understanding that "Thy will be done" I know your hand guides my life through all joys and hardships I have experienced many times the presence of your influence when I choose to believe that you have y back through any storm You have never failed to provide and lead me to gentler shores I ask you to oversee my journey through the twelve steps Please continue to place me where I can be taught by the experience, strength, and hope of others who have walked the path of recovery, both before and after me Continue to help me grow and to learn how to care about myself and take care of myself when the chaos of others bangs on my door looking to disrupt my hard earned serenity Help me to be open to truly discovering and uncovering more about myself Help me be brave in the face of hard truths Help me to be brave enough to be true to myself when fear motivates old patterns in my behavoir Help me remember how to show up as my best self or to forgive myself when I don't Guide me from step to step and from day to day as I practice what I am learning on this journey Help me walk honestly and to be vulnerable when appropriate Use my voice to help others when I share my experiences Place me in the time and place that I am needed and that I need Be the gateway that marks my path to a new way of living and continue to speak loudly in my life as you always have Help me to remember you are always beside me, even in the darkest despair You are always the light of hope that reminds me it cannot always be night I surrender to your loving will and plan for my life -gws
Please excuse the mess
Please excuse the mess This house is under construction Held together by scotch tape and string The foundation is rotten and weak And there are bats in the attack Making a terrible mess of things At least the curtains are nice -gws
Words Are Not Enough
I am on my knees Breathless from the radiance in my chest My cheeks are streaked with tears of humility and appreciation And I am humbled by the grace shown to me by those who know me And some who don't I never realized how hard it is to ask for help until I needed to do it Until I put down pride, removed my gauntlets, and stepped aside Vulnerable and scared And let people see I needed them And they showed up They offered in ways I never could have imagined With selfless generosity soaked thoroughly in their love Concerned about my well being and success And not returns and reciprocation It's difficult not to feel like I need to do something Say something Offer something more than gratitude in return So I come here to this blank page to release my love To try to give voice to my gratitude in a sorely inadequate way In an attempt to say, Thank you, to everyone Thank you so much -gws
My Hummingbird
My hummingbird visited me today She was excited to remind me how she told me that everything would be okay Her last visit was to remind me that the Goddess had not turned from me This visit was to celebrate good news finally come How blessed I am to be able to converse with messengers of the Divine How lucky I am to recognize them I will miss her as her home is here, and now my home will be elsewhere She and her family have been such wonderful neighbors and delightful friends I will miss watching them play amongst the branches of the front trees Now they will have new friends to meet May they be good and gentle ones I love you, tiny, shiny friend Thank you for your friendship Thank you for your work as a messenger May your life be full of bright flowers and sweet nectar Warm sunshine and gentle breezes And when you one day return to our Mother May Her garden be the temple of respite you so deserve -gws
Broken Things
I have a special talent for finding broken things I find the problems that no one else notices I find the shards of glass that evade discovery I find the people who silently wish someone would see their pain I do not find to fix I do not wish to mend I do not seek out what is damaged I just have the ability to see what tends to go unseen To really shine a light into the flaws I bare witness to what most people rush past Maybe this is because I'm curious Maybe because I am willing to shift my perspective In ways others lack the imagination for It is a talent and a curse This ability manifests in all areas of my life It shows up in the mundane and in the significant In my tasks and in my relationships I don't know why I have this gift I'm not sure if I'm using it as expected or intended I do accept it for what it is I accept that it brings both pain and triumph I acknowledge this talent I acknowledge its significance I am an agent of the Universe A servant of the greater good Touching both the rose and the thorn The beauty and the pain And being of service to the greater good Seeing what is neglected or invisible Advocating Listening Bearing witness With honesty and earnestness -gws
Listen
A conversation with God
Why can't I hear you? Because you are not quiet. Why can't I feel you? Because you are not still. Why can't I trust you? Because you are surrendering to fear and not faith. I am speaking to you in songs on the radio. I am comforting you when you feel the breeze drying your tears. I am supporting you even though you feel you are falling. I am reminding you that I am with you in conversations with your friends. My love is stronger than your doubt. My strength is greater than your fear. My arms surround you when you grieve. My cheers lift you when you achieve. I know you are facing what feels insurmountable. I know you are grieving and frightened. You must remember that I will not abandon you. You must remember that I will see you through. You are my child. Made from stardust and moonlight. I will believe in you when you do not believe in yourself. I will stand strong when your knees buckle. I will hold vigil when you walk through darkness. I will love you through all things. -gws
Prison of Anxiety
I sit in the prison of your anxiety
The ever-moving labyrinth of mood and emotion
Worry and fear
Shame and anger
Afraid to disturb the shadows or sigh too deeply
In case my breath causes you to erupt
I fear drawing your attention by moving too quickly
Like drawing the attention of immortal beings in fairy tales
If I run, it will draw your ire
If I sit silently, you might forget I'm here
And never turn your flaming eyes in my direction
I hide when you seek me
I cannot heal or help
I cannot hold you up
Your fear and anger sharpen your tongue to a razor's edge
And I have scars upon scars
There is no reason in your mental prison
Rational thought cannot survive there
Though I love you, I cannot survive here
Amongst the rage and blame and shame and fear
I cannot be your comfort and your enemy
I cannot continue to be torn by your dichotomy
You may be fractured, but I wish to be whole
When the dawn comes, I will choose me
And leave the dark to you
-gws
