And so comes the end of the heaviest chapter
The plot twisted dramatically
In the hands of an unreliable narrator
Linear time fractured
Slowed
Ran backward
Perspectives shifted
Creating more confusion than clarity
Muted colors of nostalgia dull recollections
Emotional sharpness blunted
The hollow ache of a long goodbye
Completed with the deliberate placement
Of an arch-ending period.
The next act begins with a page turn
“THE NEXT CHAPTER” written atop it
-gws
Ev’ry Mother’s Day
A simple pastel bouquet
Carnations in bloom
To honor your roll in life
As mother and grandmother
-gws
Wherever this finds you...
May your holiday season be all you want and need
May the returning sun shine warmly upon your path
May your hearth ring with the sounds of laughter and merriment
May the quiet season bring you respite
May the new year make manifest abundance and unadulterated joy
-gws
I realize that this year’s Christmas
Will be my first in decades without you
That shatters me like a dropped ornament
I wanted us to be a Hallmark holiday romantic comedy
But we were, instead, a Nancy McKeon movie of the week
This year is heavy with disappointment
Like that of not finding that hoped for gift beneath the tree
Or the disillusionment of learning Santa
Is just your parents’ amateur slight of hand
Or that moment in Love Actually when Emma Thompson
Opens her gift to discover it's a Joni Mitchell CD
Instead of the expensive necklace that Alan Rickman
Bought for his sexy secretary instead of his loving wife
You keep trying to gift me expired I love yous
I let them fall to the ground like dry pine needles
Christmas lights wear glimmering halos
From the tears that well when the Carpenters croon
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
I will not hang your stocking
Or buy you a well-considered gift
I will, however, cast a Christmas wish
For you to dream of better days
As you nestle in an unfamiliar bed
That old St. Nick blesses you
With a better life ahead
-gws
I stand with Lady Hecate in her place of power
The Great Crossroad
The intersection of past and present
Lessons and possibility
She holds her lantern aloft
Illuminating my options
I can see that each step
Each choice
Leads to another nexus
Another crossroad
For life is a spiderweb of crossroads
An infinite collection of choices
Interconnecting to plot our life's course
In this moment of perfect presence
I breathe
I reach out with my intuition
With deep faith and trust I step forward
Toward a future of my own choosing
-gws
The world quiets beneath a blanket of white
Sounds are muffled
Time slows
There is no hurry here
The landscape sleeps
Stillness, like a spell
Descends upon all things
My mind wanders about in this peace
Leaving no footprints in the snow
I am freed of my burdens
Allowed to drift like a shade
Below the frosted boughs
Delighting in the joy of winter’s slumber
-gws
Christmas in California
Is rolling 'round again
I look forward to sharing it
With family and friends
This season's feeling haunted
A hard to argue fact
Beneath the strain of politics
And people clapping back
This shopping season's last chance buys
Spark lukewarm interest
As shoppers look toward '25's
Incoming tariff threats
With Pluto in Aquarius
Regimes are burning down
The People are now taking aim
At every tarnished crown
It's hard to lift a cup of cheer
With such uncertainty
So I'll nestle with a spicy book
And a mug of steaming tea
Inside the lights shine merrily
And Christmas carols sing
This California Christmas
Will be about one thing
The love of friends and family
As we circle 'round our trees
And this year's hard-learned lesson
To save some love for me
-gws
You have said a lifetime's worth of, "I love you" in the last ten months
I remember that you rarely said it in the twenty-three years
When I needed to hear it like my blood needed oxygen
What am I to do with your, "I love you" now
Now that I cannot love you anymore
Oh! My heart still loves you
Still wrings drops of hope from itself
Hope hanging heavy from tear tracts
To be wiped bitterly away
Because there is no hope left
Hope is just a tether
Preventing me from moving on
From acknowledging the truth that
The third body is dead and has been for a long time
Love's hope nearly destroyed me
Consumed me
My heart will not let me pry this foolish hope from her hands
So instead, I have to lock it away
In the dark, cold, empty cavity that is my chest
Heart unable to comprehend that I do this for our own good
It screams and howls in the echoing silence
"One last chance!"
"One more time!"
"Maybe this time! Maybe! Just maybe!"
"I love you" manifests no magic here
"I love you" will not call forth a miracle for us
I still love you,
Too
But I HAVE to love me,
MORE
-gws
Touch the grass of your trauma
If it helps you remember why you moved on
But do not root there
There’s nothing but poison in that soil
-gws
What I'm thinking is:
This is hard shit.
That sometimes grabbing that fact by the throat and screaming in its face is necessary from time to time.
Sometimes sitting in the shadow of that truth is required when our spirits are tired and our hearts so broken.
And when we're done, we rest. We breathe. And we rise and fight some more.
Because we're mothers.
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 