The world is scary and uncertain
The unknown is casting a long, dark shadow on life as we understood it
It feels like I'm tumbling in rough surf and I can barely catch my breath
When things feel big, I need to make them smaller
I can do this through gratitude
I can reframe my circumstances from a place of grace over fear
In a moment where loss and fear govern, I look to the blessings I see all around
Like seedlings taking root in the dark, forgotten places
Cancer proved to be a blessing
It may have introduced it's own book of fears, but it also prevented someone I love from traveling at a time when many people were falling ill, and we had no recourses yet
I feel this truth in my gut
The Pandemic helped me access assistance that was previously off limits to me
It has changed the way I work, making it easier to be available to my family while continuing to be employed and safe
It has reminded me to say, "I love you," more
To hug my children more
To try to forgive and relinquish grievances
To live as my authentic self
To speak my truth
To honor my own boundaries
To take stock of what is good
To "live life on life's terms" and know that my higher power will have my back
To be gentle with myself when I don't live up to my own standards
To appreciate my health
To sit heavily in the present moment and appreciate all that is good instead of being busy for busy's sake
To be able to shift energy from a grinding list of To-dos to what I am able to do in this moment, place, or circumstance
It is so easy to fall into a deep despair
There are so many reasons to feel hopeless
But there are many more reasons to have hope and even to rejoice
The world, life, the Universe has shaken us all up
I choose to take it as a clarion call
I will water the seedlings of positivity and remove the weeds of fear growing in my inner garden
Through this effort, I will keep my feet and continue moving through life with gratitude and deep love
-gws
A full circle 'round the sun
And we're still doing this thing
Trying to fit square pegs into round holes
Trying to maintain a sense of normal
When normal died an agonizing, public death last year
Keeping small children indoors, on screens, for a year
Taxes sanity for every family member
The kids are stir crazy and so am I
I’ve been able to see them all day, everyday for a year
See their growth physically and emotionally
Guide them more than I would have been able to before
I have also watched us all struggle to focus on school
With two-dimensional teachers trying to illustrate a 3-D world
On screens where glitches are common and staying attentive is taxing
Where friends aren’t friends, and discipline a suggestion
How will the kids remember these times
Will they see it as a blessing or a loss
How will they tell their own tales of this lost year
Will they consider the year a loss at all
Or the time they got to spend everyday with each other
And their parents
Only time will tell
Soon we will emerge again into a new and changed world
We will learn to navigate
We will learn a new version of normal
Though I am exhausted beyond reason
I am grateful for this year with my children
I know I haven’t always been my best nor have they
But we’re all, relatively, unscathed in the grand scheme
As the weeks of school dwindle down,
The weather warms and the days lengthen
We work for the finish line where we will celebrate that we all survived
This extraordinary year as a family and weigh our success by our efforts
And not our results
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 