Wants and Needs

Everything's become about 
Wants and needs
So much so
That we forgot 
How to just
Be

-gws

Thousand

I've told you a thousand times I hate your demands of my body
You've shown me a thousand and one times you don't give a shit 
I've swallowed a thousand silent screams of frustration
I've cried a thousand silent tears of rage
I've counted a thousand agonizing seconds waiting 
For the understanding to etch across your face
That OUR relationship is more than just YOUR needs
But it never manifests
A thousand and one times this exchange plays out
Like ghosts caught in the temporal fly paper of their last moments
I can't even pretend I'm okay anymore
I will not arrange my face into a mask of acceptance
I will, instead, blank my face and retreat into my mind
Counting a thousand heartbeats enduring the unwanted attention
Disguised as affection that is really an affliction upon my person
One would think that a girl who looks like me should be grateful
That a boy who looks like you is so obsessed with a body like mine
I will admit that some part of me is flattered
That my thousand fat cells bear your label: SEXY
But when the package is more valued than the contents
It feels like a thousand Christmases where the kids 
Like the boxes better than the presents I agonized over choosing
I have identified a thousand random shapes in the ceiling paint
I have taken a thousand calming breaths
While screaming a thousand times in my mind 
STOP TOUCHING ME
It is a thousand moments of madness
When I want a thousand and one moments
Seeking my enthusiastic consent
Instead I endure a thousand days
Until the thousand is down to one

-gws

I Need

I need fire
Passion
Excitement

I need curiosity and
Deep conversations in dark corners
Long walks in nature in comfortable silence

I need art
And dance
And song
And philosophy

I need magic
And mystery
And unicorns

I need amazing dinners
Fancy cocktails
And whispered secrets over candlelit tables

I need rainy day cuddles
Pillow fights
And breakfasts in bed

I need blanket forts
And favorite movies with popcorn
And taking turns reading The Princess Bride out loud for the hundredth time

I need surprise ice cream breakfasts
Slow dancing in the kitchen
And long, involved conversations about our individual dreams

I need connection
Of mind
And of spirit

If you want to love me I need you to
See me
Hear me
Give me room to stretch, explore and grow
And you will be rewarded with experiencing the world
As the magical adventure I know it to be

-gws

Water

When you find water in the desert,
who will blame you for taking a drink?
-gws

I still need…

Do you see me?
I’m here!
Over here!
Please look my way.
Right now, if you will.
I need to be seen.
Am I loud enough?
Am I bouncy enough?
Am I doing enough to draw you into me?
I need to be reminded I am important to someone.
To you.
Right now.
My inner child is screaming for recognition.
Just acknowledge me and I promise I will relax.
That feels good.
Thank you.
Wait.
How about a little more?
Wait, don’t go back to what you were doing.
I still crave your attention.
I still am desperate for validation.
I still need.
I still need.
I still need…
 -gws

Thirsty

I am so thirsty
I am immersed in fantasies of a time when my thirst was so well quenched
My soul was refreshed and my parched needs answered
A time when my mind was challenged and stimulated
My heart valued
My fires stoked
My passions met
Every movement or comment part of the dance
Every idea appreciated and explored with genuine curiosity
A time when long and deep conversations bloomed into sighs and gasps
When I was seen as a spirit and a woman
When I was worshiped like a goddess and accepted as my authentic and whole self
I remember what it feels like to know satisfaction in my soul
To be matched in every way
A time when stimulating debate ended in lovemaking
Where flirty jokes ended in effervescent laughter

I long to be loved in that way again
To be seen
To be heard
To be appreciated
To be sparred with
I want to bask in conversations which stimulate my mind so much that my body can't help but follow
Instead I live in static and daydreams
Memories and faded photographs of a time when there was more
It is these memories that informs my thirst
If I had never known that water could be so cool and so sweet, maybe I wouldn't crave it so
Instead, I will drink my tepid water as it is better than none
And I will pray for rain
-gws

@wordswishesandwisdom
Thirsty read by gws #wordswishesandwisdom #poetry #poetrytok #poem #poet #writer #need
♬ original sound – GWS