I'm a NorCal mom working tech, raising young children, navigating marriage and divorce, life, work, and the emotions around it all. This blog grew out of my IG account where I share poetry, prose, and other posts that I hope speak to the soul. This blog primarily features my poetic musings and other writing. I hope you find something that speaks to you while you're here.
Where are the love song sentiments The reluctant partings The needful longings The passionate reunions The soul worshiping The celebration of every tiny quirk or trait The promises of lifetime comfort The celebrations of loving someone as they are For exactly who and what they are
The love songs lied and now all end in tears One day, who you are will not be who they want you to be And the same will be true as you look at them There will be no celebration And you will wonder if there ever really was I don't think there ever was
I think I was what was supposed to happen Chosen to be cast in a role because I showed up to the audition And no one else was qualified for the role I learned the lines and the choreography And it was good enough for a time But good enough only gets you by for a time
I thought I really earned the part That I embodied the role That compliments were sincere That the applause was genuine But the flowers stopped coming at the end of the show
The costumes no longer fit The auditorium is empty Or worse, filled with disappointment and resentment But I cannot remove the makeup No matter how hard I scrub And I cannot leave the stage Because the show must go on So I repeat the same steps on the worn floor The soulless smile failing to light my eyes Enduring until the music ends
With pen and ink
Paper and light
And a turn of phrase
I start to write
Of dreams and hopes
Of nightmares and fears
With strokes of ink
A poem appears
Like witch's spell
Or bard's pub song
From poet's heart
My words are drawn
To craft clever poems
Each word I must weave
Into a construction
A heart can believe
Whether magic or mischief
Love story or lie
I've just crafted a poem
And now bid goodbye
-gws
You treat me like a beautiful mind
Asking my opinions
Exploring ideas
You invite me to engage in discordant conversation
And uncomfortable curiosity
You bid me to think deeply
To test the boundaries of my beliefs
You ask me to pull you down rabbit holes of rumination
Neither of us sure where we will be lead
Yet both of us excited for the journey
We discuss, debate, and discover
We challenge, and question, and deadlock
Always honest and vulnerable
Open, curious, and safe
Exchanging thoughts and perspectives
With the utmost love and respect
And I thank you for every luminous minute
-gws
When my roots are nourished
The fire at my core ignites
The light returns to my eyes
As my soul flares bright with renewal
Colors become more vivid
Flavors more complex
My pupils dilate
The world is exciting again
Enticing again
When my roots are nourished
My mind becomes expansive
Filled with possibilities, curiosities, and wonderment
My blood sings universal mysteries into my ears
As I become wholly seated in my body
So that I may experience life
Amongst the tapestry of human sensations
When my roots are nourished
I crave deeper connections
My need for physical touch grows
Primal energy infuses my thoughts and dreams
As I desire to experience the universe on a spiritual level
Burning across the sky in an explosion of sacred energy
Enlightened and sated and complete
-gws
Venom and vitriol spill from your lips like waterfalls
Splashing your acidic emotion onto everyone within earshot
And like a corrosive acid
Your droplets of rage dissolve peace and trust into
Fumes of airborne poison
Born like toxic dandelion seeds in a wind storm
The toxin violates ears and thoughts and hearts
Plants fear
Births reflexive anxiety
Rivers of cortisol flow through my blood
The sickness consuming calm like a cancer
Slowly destroying and corrupting every relationship
That comes into contact with it
-gws
I cannot describe the powerful alchemy that occurs when I engage in deep conversation with someone I vibrate with
It fills up the place where magic lives in my soul
It is like rain in the desert
It makes me whole
-gws
No one knows
No one knows the unfathomable rage I am home to
No one sees the hot coals behind my eyes
No one hears the internal screaming resounding in my chest
No one feels the radiant heat of my simmering anger
No one knows the infinite plans of vengeance I push down
No one knows the resilient heat of the embers of resentment hidden just below the surface
No one witnesses the growing of my impotent fury
I am a soul under pressure
I am determined to produce diamonds and not explosions
Some days the beast pleads to be freed so its tongue can lash and its claws can rip
I am stronger than my base self
And I will restrain the monster until I can heal the wounds that feed and fuel it
I am resolved to not become or be consumed by the monster
My desire to be whole is greater than my desire to fracture and destroy
No one knows I am fighting to heal
No one knows that I am determined to heal
I know I will heal
I will heal
I will be whole
-gws
You don't know me
But you think you do
I am the one who rides
The one who looks out from the eyes with impartial curiosity
I am here
I am, also, not
I am the third person perspective
Existing in a first person world
Standing in front of you
But hiding in plain sight
-gws
A Book of Images by W.T. Horton & W. B. Yeats
Published 1898
What wonderment do you contain
Are you an account of actualities
Or a tome of terrors
A book of observations
Or imaginings
Your title so simple
Your cover art surreal
With its hand drawn landscape
Or is it a dreamscape
Did you inspire
Did you create controversy
Did you find a home on many Victorian library shelves
Or did you gather dust in obscure bookshops
Unnoticed and unread
Your goldenrod cover calling to patrons like a beacon
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 