I cannot describe the powerful alchemy that occurs when I engage in deep conversation with someone I vibrate with It fills up the place where magic lives in my soul It is like rain in the desert It makes me whole -gws
Whole
Category: Being Human
No One
No one knows No one knows the unfathomable rage I am home to No one sees the hot coals behind my eyes No one hears the internal screaming resounding in my chest No one feels the radiant heat of my simmering anger No one knows the infinite plans of vengeance I push down No one knows the resilient heat of the embers of resentment hidden just below the surface No one witnesses the growing of my impotent fury I am a soul under pressure I am determined to produce diamonds and not explosions Some days the beast pleads to be freed so its tongue can lash and its claws can rip I am stronger than my base self And I will restrain the monster until I can heal the wounds that feed and fuel it I am resolved to not become or be consumed by the monster My desire to be whole is greater than my desire to fracture and destroy No one knows I am fighting to heal No one knows that I am determined to heal I know I will heal I will heal I will be whole -gws
The Rider
You don't know me But you think you do I am the one who rides The one who looks out from the eyes with impartial curiosity I am here I am, also, not I am the third person perspective Existing in a first person world Standing in front of you But hiding in plain sight -gws
A Mother’s List
Wake them Dress them Feed them Then it's off to school Pick them up And bring them home Provide a snack or two Help them with their homework Hold them when they're sad Help them learn to regulate Themselves when they are mad Attempt to feed them dinner Then it's time for bed Pick out a book or two From favorites we have read Bandage up their owies Make sure they brushed their teeth Check beneath their beds to prove There's nothing underneath One last kiss for comfort And then to tuck them in Then off to sleep for mommy To begin it all again -gws
Metaphysical Intercourse
The most sensitive area of my body is my mind Exchange thoughts with me Stimulate me from the inside out Engage me in metaphysical intercourse Lead me down your roads of contemplation Let me chase you through the field of your philosophies Make my pulse quicken by describing your deepest passions Touch me with your dreams Your secrets The intricacies of your core beliefs Take me on a private tour of your sacred spaces Turn me on with your vulnerability Make me crave your speculations Let me ache for the details of your considerations Expand my mind to bursting with our conversations Until I stop your mouth with the heat of mine -gws
The Shedding of Skin
Today I chose to stay present I chose to stay in sync with my breath I chose to stay with the rhythm of my resting heartbeat Today I chose to just listen I chose to release my assumptions I chose to keep my defenses sheathed Today I chose to show up curious I chose to leave my assumptions aside I chose to suppress my desire to make judgements Today I shed the skin of old behaviors I chose to make conscious choices in the face of old fears I chose to prove to myself that I can evolve -gws
Reasons Rationalizations Justifications
How do I stay away from you When your shadow fits so well with mine How do I wipe you from my thoughts When I can't seem to wipe the memory of your lips from my skin How do I give you up when all I want to do when you speak Is stop your words with my mouth When all I want is to feel your hands on my hips How do I walk away when I see the way Your eyes drink me in when you think I'm not looking I crave you with every pulse in my veins And the way you bite your lower lip says you crave me too But we have so many reasons Reasons Rationalizations Justifications And the truth is I don't care I am not strong enough I don't want to deny this draw It's like gravity Keeping us in orbit of each other I don't want to deny this chemistry That no alchemy can seem to alter So fuck it Let's burn together until dawn -gws
Grief
Grief smothers
It slows minutes to seconds
Linear experience is arrested
And time becomes one, disconnected moment
Followed by another disconnected moment
Like a damaged film reel
Jumping from one stepping stone to the next
Each leap a gaping chasm
Light too bright
Sound too loud
Words have no meaning
Colors leeched of their vibrance
The body feels both weighted down and untethered
Feelings resonate acutely beneath numbness
Does life still make sense when it feels senseless?
Is it possible to live when one cannot seem to draw breath?
Grief feels like drowning
Tumultuous and savage
Full of ache, helplessness, desperation
Roiling and hollow
Swinging like a pendulum from feeling too much
To nothing at all
-gws
Joy of Destruction
Born deep inside of me A glowing ember begging to ignite To storm, snap, and snarl A crimson shadow sharpening its claws Scarlet eyes stalking opportunity A monster lurking just below restraint Whispering dark pleas for release Begging for me to drop its chains So its primal fires can erupt And burn down the world Howling triumphantly at the joy of destruction -gws
Hungry
Hunger chasm deep
Engulfing and undenyable
Awareness of heat and heartbeat
Pulses pounding a compelling rhythm
Skin seeking skin
Lips seeking lips
All sensation and want
Shallow breaths
Whispered gasps
The spark ignites into a blaze
Two souls surrender
To flames of pleasure and need
-gws
Words Wishes and Wisdom 